I’m writing mainly for this topic not to be locked. I won’t be updating the diary regularly from this moment on.
18.02.2023
What I know is that this streak is the one to end it all. I’m currently on day 2 and I feel all right. It’s days 3, 10, 17 and 37 that are the landmarks for me. Once I jump over day 37, my personal war will be almost won(my journey won’t end there, but after this day everything will be OK in my head).
I went for a walk twice today. The second time I was thinking about the moments in my past and I realised they were inevitable and that I should have never tried to repress anything - my bad memories, my old fears and mainly my feeling of loneliness. The last one was the thing that started my bad behavioural patterns.
It’s better to find a way to deal with my personal issues, than to repress them. Repressing leads to psychological problems.
For me it was accepting everything. I’m not perfect. Life isn’t what I expect and there is not a single way to live it. Also, there is not a single way to beat the p 
addiction. There is not a single way to love and express love. There is not a single way to communicate with people. There is not a single way to study and perceive life. My biggest mistake was believing that everything can be solved/experienced in a certain way and deviating from it is a sin.
Silly me.
And do you know what happened, when this thing occured in my head? My desire to fap vanished with the speed of light.
This is why I know that this is the streak to end it all. It ends here. All of it.
The true enemy isn’t p It’s my mind. And it’s already changing for the better.
Peace and love.
