It will be a certainty as long as you also eat healthy and remember: Abs are made in the kitchen.
Peace to you as well
It will be a certainty as long as you also eat healthy and remember: Abs are made in the kitchen.
Peace to you as well
Today, while I was studying, something in my head snapped(not literally, but I subjectively perceived it like this) and I suddenly felt way better. I accepted the fact that the world is not a perfect and cute place and that some people are assholes and I really, really, really don’t like them very much. Actually - not at all. But it’s not me who will or can change them. I accepted the fact that I have made a lot of mistakes in the past - some of which I’m not very proud of - and that I will make a lot of mistakes in the future.
For my 31 years on this world, I have collected a huge bank of mistakes and mishaps and I gave it a huge hug. I can’t say I have done a lot in my life, but I can extract content from the nothingness. I can use it as a trampoline for the future. Not having done much is also a mistake that can give knowledge and wisdom.
Also, this snap lead to a second thing. A new sexual thoughts started popping up. Normal sexual thoughts. Something that I want to do to my girlfriend. I think my drive is coming back online, boys!!
Yesterday I was on the verge to relapse. I was very anxious due to a quarrel with my girlfriend. I didn’t do it, however. Today we straightened the things out. Your buddy basanaruga is thinking about going to a psychologist. But it will be after new year. I still feel unsure about some things. I have low self-esteem and low proactivity, and these are the 2 main reasons for my decision. I’m sure I can modify them positively. It will require some time, but I know I can. Nofap gives me the strength to gather the bravery to do so.
I’m way below perfect and I’m not as mature as I thought. I can find justifications, but this will not change anything. It’s up to me to change, and not anyone else. I’m a bit afraid, but I don’t think it’s as scary as I think. It’s me who makes things scary.
I have to grow. And grow up.
I’m way better than 2 days ago. I surely am quite easy to get anxious and depressed. I am more introvert than extrovert and more reserved than outgoing and adventorous. However, I do have some emotional defficits and I have to find somehow a way to fill them. I’m 31 and I should be mature enough to do so. But I don’t feel like I am.
I have gone several times to a psychiatrist and 3 times to a psychologist and all they have told me, that I have low self-esteem. I have kind of an idea why it is like this, but this doesn’t help me. I can only use it to justify myself.
Once I read somewhere in this forum a message from mr. @Binocular that we should expand our comfort zone as a way of treating the PMO addiction. I think he is right.
This is why I’m setting some goals for myself that I will try to accomplish. They are not finite and absolute.
Change is possible. Even in “late ages” like mine. It will take time. But it’s possible.
One other thing I realised, is that I better try and fail than don’t try and feel sorry for this. It’s sounds stupid, especially coming from me(I’m ancient, compared to most of the people in this community), but it’s true. In my case, I used fear as a tool to protect myself from disappointment and thoughts of abandonment and loneliness. It’s another cold turkey that I should go through, but Imma try it. Sometimes the path to enlightenment is uncomfortable.
Now let’s see if I will stick to my goals.
Today I understood something extremely big and important about myself. I remembered some traumatic experiences from my really early past. I have been summoning in my mind for a long time, but just now I understood the connection between them and my current self. Now I know the meaning of my anxiety, my episodes of depression, my lack of motivation, lack of proactivity, lack of interest in many aspects of life and, of course, the function of the p and why I have been abusing it.
What I’m about to explain, isn’t the whole picture, but it’s the gist of it.
Once, about maybe 25-26 years ago, while my family was eating lunch, I saw one of my brothers spilling his drink. I told my mother he spilled his drink. She slapped him on the left cheek and then he started crying. I felt really guilty for what I did. What happened inside me, was that I made a new connection: if something bad happens(spilling the drink), I will get punished(slapped) and I might lose the love of the significant people in my life(my mother). In order to protect myself from losing the love and not get punished, I have to protect myself. And the protection was trying to be flawless. The idea of not being flawless was not an option for me. My anxiety and episodes of depression served as another layer of protection from the feeling of not being flawless. In other words, in my head it’s better not to try, instead of try and do something bad(making a mistake, thus being punished and lose the love of the important people in my life).
How about p ? The same. In my head, the idea of receiving love was to be flawless, and to make a mistake, was equal to instantly losing the interest of my loved one. Ladies in the p sites don’t judge. They don’t hate. They don’t know who am I and if I make a mistake, they won’t know it.
Also, my biggest fetish(BDSM) served the same purpose, but in a different way. A tied up woman can’t punish me for my mistakes.
It was that simple and that hard for me to understand. How was I so oblivious to this? Now I’m not afraid to open up to other people and try new things. I see now what is important and what isn’t, who is important and who isn’t.
I just can’t believe how stupid I have been. It’s like I have never lived so far. But now I feel free. Not from the chains of p , but from the chains of my own prejudice. P was never my true enemy. It was only a servant of my true enemy - my preconceptions.
Psychology of my simping? Here it is.
Why not proactive? I will make a mistake. Why not someone else try for me, so he/she will make the mistake and get punished instead?
Why shy in front of girls? Mistake and punishment.
Why afraid of meeting people? Mistake and punishment.
Why not trying to do things? Mistake and punishment.
Why afraid of not having high scores in school? Take a guess!
Damn dude . This is something else .
Did this realisation come after going to the therapist or on your own.
Thank you. I got it on my own.
The more I abstain from PMO, the clearer my mind gets. It’s as simple, as hard to grasp - it’s all in my head. All my fears, anxieties, depressions, subjective feelings of failure - all in my head. I have given them too much importance and priority. And that’s why they became so strong.
I can’t say I have overcome them, but now I know there is less and less to fear. ANd that I have the power to change. Maybe I have said it before, or atleast somewhere in this forum - nofap does not give superpowers - it just returns what was already inside us. Nofap doesn’t change us - it gives us the will to change. Not me - WE ALL have the power to change. We all have what it takes to be successful and happy, no matter what you put under the qualifications “success” and “happiness”.
I want to change. I don’t know how, but I think I can figure it out - by myself, or with help from other people. We are not born educated. Experience is what makes us mature. I think I just have learned how to grasp the power of my past experiences and accept them - to accept the good and the bad ones. Life is not always green grass and rainbows. But it’s not neccessarily an absolute shithole.
I think that for me the key(or at least for this moment) is perception. I want to change my perceptions about certain things. Once changed, my anxieties and depressions will greatly diminish. And I know I can. I just know it. I don’t know why. I can’t explain it. I just have the inner feeling, that I can. And I will do.
Good luck to all of you and may you have successful journeys.
Peace and love
Superb, liked the stapler idea. Maybe i will use a modified version and use a punching machine to make a punch hole each time an anxious thot doesn’t come true. And I totally agree with you that 99.9999% of times these thots are unreal, it is just our conditioned brain manipulating us towards self sabotage, so that we can never feel happy about ourselves. I am a 33 yo male and 20 yrs addict. But now am in long term recovery, have been porn free for more thn a yr, but still the urges come now and then, so brain tricks into complacency and overconfidence to make us weak. I was also falsely thinking that I have overcome the porn addiction but the fact is that I might have to manage it or deal with it for many more yrs. But now I have seen the benefits, have visible results, cant go back to the shit hole. Keep on writing and best of luck.
Thank you. Good luck to you as well!
In several hours I’m reaching 90 days. Most sources say 90 days are enough.
I touched my wee wee and it erected. And I decided to wait until it goes back to pre-erection state. It took it about an hour to lose the erection. This means I got a 1-hour erection by only gently touching my little guy.
I still have problems with morning wood. It’s not very consistent. But I’m satisfied with my progress so far.
Nofap works. Give it time. It will do its magic.
Happy new year and may all of us rewire fully.
One thing PmO took from you is your gift of teaching, your words are trilling and filled with Wisdom
Thank you very much. I never thought I had this in me.
I passed my second state exam - medical hygiene, epidemiology, social medicine and infectious diceases. 4 disciplines in one. The next state exam is Internal illnesses. But it’s 3 months form now and I have a lot of time to prepare.
I still feel anxiety. Sometimes too much anxiety. It’s like I’m actively trying to make everything unneccessarily worse in my mind. I’m capable to turn a small thing into an unbearable nightmare. And I want to change this.
However, I will lie, if I say I know how to. What I know, however, is that for some reason I emotionally manipulate myself. I want to find the fine mechanisms of this manipulation and modify them.
I feel like I live in a toxic swamp and I feel safe and secure there, not knowing that it’s the filthiest part of the world and everything else is better than the place that I live in. I want to change, but change is slow and uneasy.
What I learned, is that the first step to change is not to get out of my comfort zone, but to allow my comfort zone to expand and then move forward. The psychology of this is that forcing myself to do new things will eventually lead to a feeling of guilt - guilt, based on the thought that I’m not forcing myself enough, thus forcing myself more and so on… Allowing myself to try new things overrides the guilt and trying new things feels OK and not painful every time.
Sadly, I’m not the type of person, who is naturally outgoing and adventorous. And I’m not going to dleiberately do outgoing and adventorous stuff to convince myself that this is what will make me happy. Things like reading science fiction, studying human anatomy or walking alone make me happy and refreshed.
I’m not enough for myself. I need interraction with people. I need to touch grass. I need to share thoughts. I need to communicate more. I need and deserve to be happy. Maybe I haven’t met the right bunch of people.
I actually have a lot of other, deeprer thoughts about the whole world and our society and how it’s really messed up. But I can’t express them well enough in verbal form. When I figure this out. I will share them.
That’s it for today. Keep going forward
Brother you’re doing very well, one thing i learnt about this recovery is there’ll be different changes you’ll become to experience that’ll cause you distress even though it’s a good one …i am currently on day 44 and i find that the changes in my mind and body are really weird, i get really stressed out, my anxiety is really higher than while i was still on PMO… stepping out of your comfort zone is the step you should be taking…one of one mine is getting into a relationship and trust me my stress level is what I’ll say 80/100 , also body dymasphoria, sorry if i didn’t spell that right… brother please i beg you, don’t for any second think you’re cured of all if not you’ll sink back…even in the first year I’ll still consider myself an addict, Nofap is a life time lifestyle not just 90 days, 1 year , 2 year…some people ain’t even fully cured at 2 years…go strong brother…you got this
My name is Kingsley bro, from Africa, Nigeria precisely… I’ll like to get your number so we can talk on Whatsapp…i really need people who i can be sober with and share thought and progress…this is my number…+2348103489551
What’s your phone number so i can add you also…
Thank you for your support and kind words. I never used whatsapp and the idea to talk to a new person kinda overwhelmed me. I need some time to think out your invitation.
I relapsed today.
The strange thing is that I didn’t feel shame or guilt, like I usually do after this.
Something inside tells me that I’m not starting from the rock bottom.
I usually say to myself, that this is the last time and this time will be different, however each and every time I fail. The harder I try to be badass, the more I relapse.
So, this time imma just try. I have some ideas what to do, but I’m not sharing them, because I always relapse when I state my intentions. It’s not something ultra secret, I just don’t want to act like a tough guy.
Long story short, I’m just going to do it this time. That’s it.
I’ll be resetting the app to 16.1.2023, 00:00
Here’s a motivational video. If you want to learn the secrets of nofap, watch it until the end.
I haven’t written here in quite a while.
So, after I relapsed, I relapsed once more and then I decided to go cold turkey. I have been talking about this in this forum so much, that I’m starting to perceive myself as a cold turkey prophet. However, this method works. At least for me.
The idea is simple. Just don’t touch yourself and don’t watch p Start in a sudden and shock your organism and psyche by this. It’s not the most pleasant experience, but it gives the best results(at least for me).
My current streak is 5 days and so far, I have morning wood and my sexual desire is sky high. I also feel more confident.
No cheating. No peeking, no edging, no touching. Only silently bearing the weigh. But I have become so strong, that I don’t even feel it. It’s like I have to deadlift 200kg as Eddie Hall.
That’s it. Good luck, boys and girls! You can and you will. You have what it takes.
I realised today, that my anxiety might not be caused by abstinence. My anxiety is learned and I learned it, when I was a kid. I’m also prone to react with anxiety when something stressful happens, however in this case my anxiety is learned, not caused by abstinence. And I have been repressing it with fapping and other things such as gaming too much and binging tv series. Also, my PIED might just be ED, caused by the learned anxiety. Maybe some day I will explain this here. But not now.
Now that I have realised this connection, I can now weaken it. My comfort zone just got bigger and I allow myself to do new things. It will take some time, but the anxiety will decrease.
Something tells me I’m going the right way.