Thanks Forerunner and all,
I totally agree we suppress our emotions at our peril, they will surface somehow and at that point will we turn to porn which was our drug of choice or instead find another way of handling those strong negative feelings. Music, journalling, prayer going for walks and cold showers and reaching out to friends these sound like very valuable strategies. I’ll try remember these.
I’ve renewed my subscription to acc2u which was off, I’ve restarted it manually as it keeps turning itself off on my new cheaply phone! I haven’t used the opportunity to fail.
Day 4. Discipline and a strong plan still needed!
BOOM!
Wake Up Before 6 AM Meditation NoFap Prayer Update NoFap Streak Mini Urges Defeated: 0 Studying Goal Achieved Face Change Tracking Photo Read A Good Book 10 Half Push ups Screen Activity Review Use Sword, See My Commitments, Hero Check in Diary Check in
@SelfMadeNinja Negative emotions are a major reason why we’ve fallen in the past. Best of success in finding a healthy, positive way of dealing with them, brother.
@anon80614957 Brilliant video brother - thanks for sharing!
Thank you for your encouragement, my friend. This IS our year! 12 Rules for Life is a great book!
Weekend was great - there’s lots to say about it,
unfortunately gave in when I got home.
NoPMO is a thing to always have in mind, if not at least like the belt you wear.
Challenges
Piano practice - regulating my day
A-D revision
A - Acknowledge; “I wanna view & do”
B - Blessings; “I’m a natural sexual being, that wants to bind to another”
C - Choice
D - Domino effect; “with pmo = heavier” “without pmo = the road is clearer”
My Accountability partner is contacting me when he gets an alert We aren’t meeting up on any regular scheduled basis though seems to be working so far.
Too much oversight can create a negative reaction anyway as I will feel controlled and denied. Its working so far overall
Thanks for askin
Question : in the early stages of rebooting which many of us are in ( meaning low streaks) is it wise to date girls?
Eg could hugging, kissing etc lead to a porn binge for example?
In context is it sensible for pmo addicts to do anything which might prevent a successful reboot? Dating I’m suggesting could prevent a pmo addict from rebooting successfully but I could be wrong. Due to the physical temptations and potential frustrations that arise from the dating process. Although I’m loathe to put such restrictions onto myself ocd and other issues have put those restrictions in place anyway I’m left stranded in rebooting land forever single…
Successful rebooters have my permission to date…
Well you are asking a question with a lot of outcomes. See all guys are different and have different ways on having a girlfriend. By that I am saying some guys only use girls for a one night or just for sex.
I know yes I do sound judgemental, but I am using it as an example, because most guys here I have met only talk about their ‘bed score’ or whatever you like to call it. So I am using a bit the modern lifestyle we have gotten a custom to.
So like I said it depends on how you actually really want to treat the girl that will lead you to your porn watching or relapse. Yeah, it is not only that you want to miss use the girl and urges will rise in kissing, hugging and looking at her it is normal, because your body is wired as such to go into reproductive mode. It’s a law of nature.
The other outcome of this however is to use the gf as a reward system in beating nofap, but depending on the tipe of nofap your doing having sex with her is also a variable. Al together in this matter nobody can conclusively tell you if having sex might break the rewire process or not, but obviously it depends on what your doing in that session. I feel having a relationship is good and it will help the best abstianing from sex.
Okay, yeah I am one of those guys wanting to have sex after I am married to my wife. That’s how God made sex and it is the bond between two people to become one out of true love. Not as we are using sex just to feel love or to think we are loved. We did a brilliant job of miss using a beautiful thing and it is biting us back and the product of that is PORN and AIDS or HIV. None of these things would have existed if we use sex for its intended perpouse.
Anyways back to the topic and lastly and most important is to listen to your body, to your mind on what it is telling you, because if you’re getting to much temptation out of wanting to watch porn or having too much urges also don’t go for the relationship then relapses might occur frequently in the relationship period.
So I hope you understand and I wanted to express my views on it and I jumped the gun and gave a bit of background on how I feel on it. Hope it helps and good luck and stay strong!
Yes it obviously depends on the person and perhaps their style of nofap; I’m pretty sure that premarital sex would lead to a porn binge (from what I’ve read and heard) for any male in the early stages of rebooting. Probably true in the later stages too I would suggest.
So someone trying not to fap is struggling not to have sex before marriage either if they are a Christian (monk mode I believe) I would assume that would then increase the pressure to find a ‘less sinful’ and already familiar outlet for their increased sexual tension which would be Masturbation in the very least if not full pmo so I’m of the opinion that unless a Christian is very clear and determined about boundaries in their relationship then they will be setting themselves up for a fall.
In the later stages of rebooting I think yes personally go ahead and date but in the early stages I would personally question the wisdom of running into a relationship but equally if the opportunity arises who of us would just turn it down? I wouldn’t actually but I can see the dangers and risks.
Equally though it could sharpen the focus to remain pure from pmo. Try it and see perhaps like you said its about knowing yourself and testing your own motives.
Also the reason many of us are single could be our pmo addiction and lack of motivation, social anxiety, fears and shame
@Forodwaith@Gk-00@Rebooter81
Reflecting on A - D more often.
Struggled with viewing a couple of times.
But got into action - church this morning and some diligent work & practice today
Mini challenges are mostly in (mediation, prayer, sleep), but I need to work harder to exercise. Mostly I want to establish my evening ritual before everything l exercising but I’ve also had a lot of personal business to take care of in the morning which has taken up my exercise time even though I’ve been waking up very early. Most of that business is done now so the cost should be clear to restablish that habit as well.
Really struggled this morning with urges and lying there tired while my mind started bringing up all sorts of ■■■■ viewed in the past. Was making things very difficult but in the end I got up and realised lying there thinking or trying not to think certain thoughts was a very bad strategy however tired I felt due to a broken night last night.
Having a pee and a cooler shower at least cold water directed at the ballsack hopefully helped. Then read an article on nofap forum about overcoming urges…
I had decided that whatever happens I will not fap either with or without ■■■■ and my resolve was severely tested and partly by giving into certain thoughts I made it much more difficult for myself. I am in control at least …just!
Hey y’all,
Fell off the wagon for a bit. It was a rough week, but with help from Divine presence in my life, I made it through. Learning how to talk to God, not just pray.
Thank you all for keeping this thread up and checking in w each other! Even though I wasn’t here a while, it was good to see you all still participating and you’re an inspiration!
My goal rn is no P only. I’m not going to check in when I MO bc I don’t think that’s fair to you all. I think I watched P twice in the past week, but it’s probably been at least 4 days since I last watched.
I want to record my goals for today and need you all to check in to hold me accountable!
Practice Stoic morning routine by Vox Stoica (https://youtu.be/JrqQVXwSEsQ)
Start laundry
Eat a healthy breakfast and count calories (I’m trying to gain muscle weight…if any of y’all have advice, please share)
Try out an exercise in this book I got called 642 Tiny Things to Write About
Finish laundry
Go meet a friend for lunch
Stop in at work to finish something from yesterday that is time sensitive, 1 hour
Purchase a mattress for my apt (been sleeping on an air mattress since Sept)
Put laundry away
Build mattress frame I already have and make my new bed
Make food for dinner and rest of my work week
Balance my budget and pay bills (1 hour)
Go to gym @ 6p and finish by 7:30p at the latest
Iron shirts and pants, chose work clothes for tomorrow
Talk to my partner on the phone for 30 mins
1 hour reading my CoDA book and continuing to write my first step
Make weekly cleaning schedule and time to respond to emails and messages
Text my CoDA sponsor to check in about our phone call tomorrow
9-10 no phone, meds, relaxation techniques, meditation, brush & floss, read, sleep
Still working on the same stuff. I was triggered by a dream last night but was able to overcome realizing the dream only seemed normal because I’ve accustomed myself to lust as a normal thing. This reminded me of my need to reboot and I could recommit without relapse.
Day 17
Wake Up Before 6 AM
Meditation
