Wednesday
Burn brightly, but don’t burn out. Balance in all things.
Morning Routine: 
Wake up by 6AM:
Three Important Tasks: 
2 Likes
Day One
The quote on the opening page was
“Wait the be patient. The time is hard but it will pass.”
This is exactly what I need to hear and describes the time I’m in. Trying to stay low and be faithful in his strength.
3 Likes
Wednesday
@Forodwaith @anon67854825 @Forerunner @Rebooter81
It was a good day, did some work for the thesis and had to do some research to buy a new mobile phone 
Went to Mass in the evening as well. Wanted to do some physical exercise but ended up delaying it till it was too late.
I took the phone in bed to watch some YouTube videos, before going to sleep temptation struck and I fell, it came out of the blue and I was not expecting it.
I made the same silly mistakes as a lot of other times, Lord sometimes I behave like a fly smashing against the same window over and over again 
I don’t want to bash on myself for falling, because it is unnecessary and will not help me with keeping my streak, I will try to keep high spirits and stay alert for further temptations in the following days.
4 Likes
What do people think of easy mode as a means of transitioning to hard mode or does this simply not work? A reset on hard mode can feel completely discouraging that’s my argument for 2 counters so mast alone never resets the porn counter. One counter gets reset apon mast but the other only apon watching porn. However as I’d managed 16 days hard mode I switched to 2 counters to maintain my streak as someone who had masturbated but hadn’t watched porn but then this felt false I failed gratuitously the next day I.e I didn’t feel huge pressure to do it but felt discouraged in spite of switching to 2 counters. Now both are reset I’m thinking the only way is hard mode. Go hard or Go home?
Keep going brother, you’re an inspiration to us all!
@anon67854825 @Gk-00 @Rebooter81 @Forodwaith
Prayed for each of you individually today. May the LORD send you all peace, comfort and give you strength in this journey.
My dear brothers, I say this with sincere love and genuine affection; you need to get a plan, or you will continue to fail again and again. I will be distressed if I see you struggling next year. We’re overcoming the world’s toughest addiction here, yet the Most High has provided us with the way of escape. The door to freedom is open! The work needed to get a plan in place is not much, especially when it comes to something that can transform your life! Read a dozen or so success stories, spend 6-8 hours reading a powerful book, write up a plan for 90 minutes which you’ll review weekly with an AP, and walk straight out of bondage!
I know how hard it is to quit. I tried for thirteen years. I relapsed hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of times. It took me twelve years to pass 50 days, and that was when I finally started following a plan. I relapsed because my plan still had holes.
I prayed fervently, LORD clean me of this. Help me. Remove me from this sin. I don’t want to die in this. But He has Saved me before I was even born! He has already delivered me. I was praying for grace I already had. I wanted some miraculous feeling to come over me and then no more urges for pornography. But He wanted me to choose His Grace.
https://beggarsdaughter.com/why-wont-god-take-away-my-addiction/
Here’s a plan to help you get back on track. The journey is much easier with a solid battle plan. Add the last 19 days of 2019 to your counter!
I believe in you all. You can do this!
@Rebooter81 Transitioning from easy mode to hard mode later doesn’t work for us. Since masturbation is against our values, we still feel the guilt, shame and regret each time, and eventually we think ‘I’m already breaking the rules, I may as well go all the way and enjoy the experience.’ No pornography, no masturbation.
5 Likes
Day Two
Tired, but getting up and getting on.
Trying to avoid laying on my stomach as it can be triggering.
3 Likes
This journey isn’t one of denial, brother. It’s the opposite. Engaging in pornography denies us our true joy, peace, love and spiritual fulfilment. It keeps the true self we were intended to be locked in a cage. By recovering, we break free from it.
With GOD’s Help, you certainly can brother! I’ve laid a trail of breadcrumbs showing how I got here, everyone can do the same thing.
Well done - beating ourselves up after a relapse only serves to add more fuel to the temptation to binge. Learn from the mistakes instead. If you have to fail, fail differently. Fail intelligently. Fail having poured out your whole heart.
When you get it, make the new mobile phone a clean one! 
Mine’s been clean since November last year, if only I’d got a new PC and laptop at the same time
Thursday
Voted today - general election in the UK. If we want to see change, we’ve got to be the change!
Morning Routine:
Wake up by 6AM:
Three Important Tasks:
New video - Don’t Feed the Little Monster!
2 Likes
Friday
Slow to speak…
Morning Routine:
Wake up by 6AM:
Three Important Tasks:
1 Like
@Forerunner
Thank you for pushing me
You’re an extremely wise companion,
thank you!
Sorry I haven’t checked in the past few days
@Rebooter81 @Gk-00 @Forodwaith
I’m re-evaluating things at the moment
3 Likes
I made it to Day three, a very small victory. Now I want to make it for a week. With the help of God +
Peace brothers.
2 Likes
Friday/Week 50
5/7 Wake up 5:00
4/7 Affirmations
4/7 Meditation
3/7 Exercise
4/7 Worship
@anon67854825 are you really on nofap
4 Likes
What would you guys think of someone who hasn’t viewed porn for years or maybe never became a porn addict even but does fap like once a week ? It’s possible that the people I’m thinking of never got addicted to porn which sounds strange to us…
Just I’ve known a few people I generally respect in that camp over the years
2 Likes
@Rebooter81 Do they manage to keep it down to once a week always - like on a schedule? From what I’ve read, people tend to break that commitment and go back to twice a week, three times and slowly make their way back to more frequent masturbation, like the stats above. That is interesting to hear that they’ve done that for years.
Everyone has different temptations, I’d say. For myself, without pornography, there is no urge to masturbate at all - I haven’t done that since my early teenage years - 13-14.
@Forodwaith No victory is too small brother 
@anon67854825 Thanks brother, I’m still deliberating over the best course of action to take here. I care about you guys, and really don’t like seeing all the 
s.
I have to hold myself back from long posts every time I see a relapse. I know you’re all trying so hard and I see great pain from where I’m sitting. I certainly haven’t got all the answers and I still have a great deal to learn, but I feel I’ve learned enough to help others with GOD’s Grace… But is it better to advise or to support? Is my attitude towards relapses incorrect? Am I reading your situation correctly or just projecting the pain I felt? 
I pray you’re doing well.
Saturday
Morning Routine:
Wake up by 6AM:
Three Important Tasks:
3 Likes
Yeah I’d totally agree there that without porn I also have no desire to masturbate they are intertwined activities which is why when I attempted to separate them simply the act without porn and with hardly any fantasy this still led to viewing porn and that from force of habit as much as anything. People have different temptations yes. Best to go all the way then all in. A friend records fails on here as masturbation without porn but he also advised I go the whole hog as it were: Don’t do either
Blessings Rbtr
3 Likes
I believe you in mate you can conquer this. We can conquer this
3 Likes
@Forerunner What you do is awesome!
And thank you for it. There are many gems.
Many things to learn from.
Many things to come back to.
Many things that need a coming-back-to
We don’t always get everything right, and can only go off the info we have, but when that advice/support comes from the right place, it’s always correct.
But like I said in the opening paragraph, ‘there are many gems’ - but we don’t always recognise them straight away.
Bless you, and @Rebooter81 @BruceLee @Gk-00 @Forodwaith
I haven’t tried hard, and BruceLee was spot on. I literally stopped nofap - this is where I want to be careful not to write a long post, to be up for an hour going through it though it might happen.
The Plan, reasons, pros, cons, vision of the future is quite complex for me at the moment.
One Good reason would be;
So I can remove that issue, and deal with other areas of life.
“Make a straight path for the Lord”
Like, Disinfecting a wound before performing surgery.
I’m alright. I realise I need/want a stronger forward direction, and remember the transitions in my journey that have given me a better core than I’d previously had - so I feel I’m into a new phase, Lord willing, a plan going forward.
The problem with too much, is I’m ocd (not something I’ve been diagnosed with, but notice since being active in this forum) And I feel I really need to own, embody, to really mean it - the plan, reasons.
For the moment, I need to stick to NoFap whole heartedly as this forward motion starts to take shape in my mind and being.
Aside from “I’ve relapsed, so therefore I must feel like sh*t” which I see as bad feelings through ‘a failure to meet the targets we set ourselves’… ‘NoFap/or companionship/or religious - guilt’… The real truth for me is; without boundaries I’m very likely to repeat, and repetitive pmo creates confusion, bad judgment and -obviously- lack of integrity.
Of course, biologically, in theory-though I’m sure it’s been proven countless of times-
It drains ‘life-energy’ (?) cells (?)… I don’t know the science, but I just look like someone who’s relapsed it’s not something to laugh about, but I do laugh
Even if we are struggling at this,
at least we’re trying.
Even if we say “no, not tonight”
we are part of this journey.
I did temporally stop for a few days - and yes, it’s definitely much better to be in this journey, and with others, especially you guys
Thanks be to God for bringing me here, and to write these words
There has been signs & wonders - though they look mundane, I ignored them a bunch of times.
Please keep guiding me Lord
3 Likes
’
Aside from “I’ve relapsed, so therefore I must feel like sht”* which I see as bad feelings through ‘a failure to meet the targets we set ourselves’… ’
Yes bad feelings from not meeting our targets but I think fapping makes us feel worse even without any nofap targets. It’s because it’s unnatural I believe.
In the not so distant past you’d have only had your imagination or a real woman and I’d know which I’d prefer.
We fap when we feel low and we get a temporary high that’s all and then we go back and want more and more but get less and less satisfaction
I’m not encouraging free sex obviously and regular fappers find it hard to have that anyway so they got themselves into.this stupid habit we all find ourselves in.
Didn’t regular fapping without any nofap goals cause you to join this forum in the first place? Anyway not having a go mate. I can’t recommend real life accountability and accountability software enough at least so far it’s helping me and i think all the nofap gurus recommend it.
I don’t see using this app as accountability it helps a little but having software on your devices and actually meeting up with someone who says ‘so how was your week ,truthfully! How was it?’
That’s real accountability.
And it’s frickin tough at this time of year too
Bless ya mate
2 Likes