The Mini Challenge

[Forerunner]

@Rebooter81

we deny ourselves release.

This journey isn’t one of denial, brother. It’s the opposite. Engaging in pornography denies us our true joy, peace, love and spiritual fulfilment. It keeps the true self we were intended to be locked in a cage. By recovering, we break free from it.

@Gk-00

I want to be up there with you someday, one day at a time

With GOD’s Help, you certainly can brother! I’ve laid a trail of breadcrumbs showing how I got here, everyone can do the same thing.

@Gk-00

I don’t want to bash on myself for falling

Well done - beating ourselves up after a relapse only serves to add more fuel to the temptation to binge. Learn from the mistakes instead. If you have to fail, fail differently. Fail intelligently. Fail having poured out your whole heart.

When you get it, make the new mobile phone a clean one! Mine’s been clean since November last year, if only I’d got a new PC and laptop at the same time

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Thursday

Voted today - general election in the UK. If we want to see change, we’ve got to be the change!

Morning Routine:
Wake up by 6AM:
Three Important Tasks:

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New video - Don’t Feed the Little Monster!

Don't Feed the Little Monster! (Day 182 HM with GOD's Help)

[BruceLee]

Thursday/Week 50

4/7 Wake up 5:00
3/7 Affirmations
3/7 Meditation
3/7 Exercise
3/7 Worship

[Forerunner]

Friday

Slow to speak…

Morning Routine:
Wake up by 6AM:
Three Important Tasks:

[anon67854825]

@Forerunner
Thank you for pushing me
You’re an extremely wise companion,
thank you!

Sorry I haven’t checked in the past few days
@Rebooter81 @Gk-00 @Forodwaith

I’m re-evaluating things at the moment

[Forodwaith]

I made it to Day three, a very small victory. Now I want to make it for a week. With the help of God +

Peace brothers.

@anon67854825 @Forerunner @Gk-00

[BruceLee]

Friday/Week 50

5/7 Wake up 5:00
4/7 Affirmations
4/7 Meditation
3/7 Exercise
4/7 Worship

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@anon67854825 are you really on nofap

@anon67854825

58

[Rebooter81]

What would you guys think of someone who hasn’t viewed porn for years or maybe never became a porn addict even but does fap like once a week ? It’s possible that the people I’m thinking of never got addicted to porn which sounds strange to us…

Just I’ve known a few people I generally respect in that camp over the years

[Forerunner]

@Rebooter81 Do they manage to keep it down to once a week always - like on a schedule? From what I’ve read, people tend to break that commitment and go back to twice a week, three times and slowly make their way back to more frequent masturbation, like the stats above. That is interesting to hear that they’ve done that for years.

Everyone has different temptations, I’d say. For myself, without pornography, there is no urge to masturbate at all - I haven’t done that since my early teenage years - 13-14.

@Forodwaith No victory is too small brother

@anon67854825 Thanks brother, I’m still deliberating over the best course of action to take here. I care about you guys, and really don’t like seeing all the s.

I have to hold myself back from long posts every time I see a relapse. I know you’re all trying so hard and I see great pain from where I’m sitting. I certainly haven’t got all the answers and I still have a great deal to learn, but I feel I’ve learned enough to help others with GOD’s Grace… But is it better to advise or to support? Is my attitude towards relapses incorrect? Am I reading your situation correctly or just projecting the pain I felt?

I pray you’re doing well.

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Saturday

Morning Routine:
Wake up by 6AM:
Three Important Tasks:

[Rebooter81]

Yeah I’d totally agree there that without porn I also have no desire to masturbate they are intertwined activities which is why when I attempted to separate them simply the act without porn and with hardly any fantasy this still led to viewing porn and that from force of habit as much as anything. People have different temptations yes. Best to go all the way then all in. A friend records fails on here as masturbation without porn but he also advised I go the whole hog as it were: Don’t do either
Blessings Rbtr

[Rebooter81]

I believe you in mate you can conquer this. We can conquer this

[anon67854825]

@Forerunner What you do is awesome!
And thank you for it. There are many gems.
Many things to learn from.
Many things to come back to.
Many things that need a coming-back-to

We don’t always get everything right, and can only go off the info we have, but when that advice/support comes from the right place, it’s always correct.
But like I said in the opening paragraph, ‘there are many gems’ - but we don’t always recognise them straight away.
Bless you, and @Rebooter81 @BruceLee @Gk-00 @Forodwaith

I haven’t tried hard, and BruceLee was spot on. I literally stopped nofap - this is where I want to be careful not to write a long post, to be up for an hour going through it though it might happen.

The Plan, reasons, pros, cons, vision of the future is quite complex for me at the moment.
One Good reason would be;
So I can remove that issue, and deal with other areas of life.
“Make a straight path for the Lord”

Like, Disinfecting a wound before performing surgery.

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I’m alright. I realise I need/want a stronger forward direction, and remember the transitions in my journey that have given me a better core than I’d previously had - so I feel I’m into a new phase, Lord willing, a plan going forward.

The problem with too much, is I’m ocd (not something I’ve been diagnosed with, but notice since being active in this forum) And I feel I really need to own, embody, to really mean it - the plan, reasons.

For the moment, I need to stick to NoFap whole heartedly as this forward motion starts to take shape in my mind and being.

Aside from “I’ve relapsed, so therefore I must feel like sh*t” which I see as bad feelings through ‘a failure to meet the targets we set ourselves’… ‘NoFap/or companionship/or religious - guilt’… The real truth for me is; without boundaries I’m very likely to repeat, and repetitive pmo creates confusion, bad judgment and -obviously- lack of integrity.
Of course, biologically, in theory-though I’m sure it’s been proven countless of times-
It drains ‘life-energy’ (?) cells (?)… I don’t know the science, but I just look like someone who’s relapsed it’s not something to laugh about, but I do laugh

Even if we are struggling at this,
at least we’re trying.

Even if we say “no, not tonight”
we are part of this journey.

I did temporally stop for a few days - and yes, it’s definitely much better to be in this journey, and with others, especially you guys

Thanks be to God for bringing me here, and to write these words

There has been signs & wonders - though they look mundane, I ignored them a bunch of times.
Please keep guiding me Lord

[BruceLee]

Saturday/Week 50

6/7 Wake up 5:00
5/7 Affirmations
5/7 Meditation
3/7 Exercise
5/7 Worship

[Rebooter81]

’
Aside from “I’ve relapsed, so therefore I must feel like sht”* which I see as bad feelings through ‘a failure to meet the targets we set ourselves’… ’
Yes bad feelings from not meeting our targets but I think fapping makes us feel worse even without any nofap targets. It’s because it’s unnatural I believe.
In the not so distant past you’d have only had your imagination or a real woman and I’d know which I’d prefer.
We fap when we feel low and we get a temporary high that’s all and then we go back and want more and more but get less and less satisfaction

I’m not encouraging free sex obviously and regular fappers find it hard to have that anyway so they got themselves into.this stupid habit we all find ourselves in.
Didn’t regular fapping without any nofap goals cause you to join this forum in the first place? Anyway not having a go mate. I can’t recommend real life accountability and accountability software enough at least so far it’s helping me and i think all the nofap gurus recommend it.

I don’t see using this app as accountability it helps a little but having software on your devices and actually meeting up with someone who says ‘so how was your week ,truthfully! How was it?’
That’s real accountability.

And it’s frickin tough at this time of year too
Bless ya mate

[Gk-00]

Sunday

@Forodwaith @anon67854825 @Forerunner @Rebooter81

Sorry I haven’t checked in the last few days. I’m back to square one again, not going in the direction I want to be going.

I feel like often I make one step forward and then two steps back, it’s frustrating. My lack of willpower is frustrating. Today only I already fell two times. I know I can do better, but just can’t seem to find a way to stop this. I really need a new plan, a new commitment, I do not want to keep going like this. There must be a way out of this habit, permanently!

I will try to recollect my ideas, and to start again. No more excuses, this is too important for my future, for my life.

Lord, I put everything in Your hands

[Forodwaith]

I fell yesterday. It can happen so fast. Later in the day I had some intense time in prayer and really felt like my hope and faith in the Lord and the freedom I have in Christ was built up. It’s amazing how numbing and dumbing this habit makes me in my sensitivity to the Lord and others. I become more and more self-absorbed and lost in a pit.

I have walked out of that pit and I will walk further with Jesus into greater freedom.

I’m trying again to go for a week and confident I can make it with God’s help.

Thank you for your strength, support, and prayers as well.

Peace.

[Forerunner]

A reflection on Aoshigreen’s post; I’m sharing here what I recently shared on my Hero’s Challenge. I read my reasons every morning and practise using my vision multiple times daily to defeat urges as part of my urge-overcoming method - picturing it in my mind each time.

Negative Consequences of Viewing and Doing - 5 Strong Reasons Why I Want to Quit:

1. It hindered my spiritual progress, my relationship with GOD, and was a rebellion against His Plan for my life.
2. It stopped me from pursuing my dreams, goals, hobbies and success in this life and the Hereafter.
3. It led to struggles with my self-esteem, my relationships, my career and my finances.
4. It made me disinterested in good relationships with family and friends and killed love with lies and deception.
5. It fueled anxiety, depression, loneliness and self-loathing, and caused deep shame, regret and social isolation.

Positive Consequences of Living a Loving Life - 5 Strong Reasons Why I Want to Be Free and Clean:

1. I am overjoyed and spiritually accomplished after experiencing true repentance and drawing nearer to GOD.
2. I am completely transformed for the better in all aspects of my life.
3. I only see women as people to be loved, and have no interest in unclean imagery and sexual perversion.
4. My motivation to achieve legendary goals and change history has increased tenfold.
5. My confidence, self-respect and integrity are renewed, and I am happy with where my life is heading.

My Vision:
With restored integrity, I feel love and connection to GOD, to my higher self and to the people around me. I’m finally free, bursting with energy, creativity and motivation. I’ve regained my self-control and I advance daily towards a meaningful, happy and successful life by GOD’s Grace.

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Sunday

Morning Routine:
Wake up by 6AM:
Three Important Tasks:

[BruceLee]

Sunday/Week 50

7/7 Wake up 5:00
5/7 Affirmations
6/7 Meditation
4/7 Exercise
5/7 Worship

Week Result

Week 46 78.57%
Week 47 60.71%
Week 48 75.00%
Week 49 82.14%
Week 50 77.14%

[anon67854825]

Amen @Forodwaith
“It’s amazing how numbing and dumbing this habit makes me in my sensitivity to the Lord and others. I become more and more self-absorbed and lost in a pit.”
I really feel with this this is certainly true for me.

Hence the “aside from…” @Rebooter81
Yes, and Correct bro
Relapses wound us much deeper than we recognise. And, is what naturally drew me here.
But part of me feels, we can replace the truth for untruths.

@Gk-00
Even those who struggle, but are honest, and seek strength in God, are living in his truth
Lord, forgive me for doing otherwise

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I’m usually upbeat, confident, mindful and adaptable - if not completely, at least walking in that tranquil park, rich in blessings.

The poles shifted massively.

It wasn’t a sh*tty feeling, an easy to come-by grace that I could emotionally point to,
and say “aha, yes, relapses suck”

But “loss of sensitivity” is the closet way to describe it.
Eventually experiencing ‘those’ old dis-graces, which I hadn’t felt in a long time.

• Unable to look people in the eye.
• Post-relapse fog hanging in the air.
• I look worn out, clothes look wrong.
• I just look wrong.

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Sunday

I was so glad to be in church today
To seek the Lord, to come home, to be with people, and to say “Yes.”

Penitential service tomorrow ~
I’m really looking forward to confession

@Forerunner bless you again bro

[Forerunner]

Monday

Thank GOD for consistency!

Morning Routine:
Wake up by 6AM:
Three Important Tasks:

[Forodwaith]

This morning’s relapse has me feeling so much self-loathing. The truth is, the self-loathing preceded the act, it probably spurned it, and the shame of the act just amplifies a burning self-hatred. It is not the message of my God but is so loud right now. The voice of shame, of the crushing spirit
Please pray for me brothers that I might know God’s love deeper and especially in this place.