Hello 
Jis din wo group leave kiya uss din tumhe apni bhool ka gyat nhi hua
Kaise ho bhai? Shi chal rha sabkuch.
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Group kya bhai maine to telegram hi delete kr diya tha.
Haa bhai mast sab … bas routine set kr rha …
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Accha, didn’t know about this
Mera toh khid ka mujhe routine set karna diwali ki chutiyon main try karunga discipline main aane ki kyunki classes nhi hongi
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haay doston 
main bas aapako ek mahaan raat kee kaamana karana chaahata hoon aur apane lakshyon ko praapt karane ke lie shubhakaamanaen dena chaahata hoon 
#Hindi
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Morning habits
gratefulness prayer 
20 pushups 
no phone
Mid - day tasks
School work
writing work
math :
evening - night
10 mins meditation
revision
preparing for next day
prayer and affirmations
Do nots
insta/discord/reddit
unuseful work on laptop
overthinking
comparing and complaining
bad thoughts
behaving sad and introvert
Everything seems to go fast and sudden . There is this weird feeling of not finding interest in many or most things and feeling incomplete or unsatisfied from inside .
But it is not depressing me this time because I have been through weirder things when I was on flatline . I just need to focus and be engaged , try not to feel sad and alone . Well , diwali is approaching and I am definitely gonna enjoy it as refreshment . And after that , if not convince , then I will have to force myself for disciplines . I need to take challenges more seriously .
Well I will cross 200 in 2 days , and it feels overwhelming , hell of a journey . I have never experienced myself and life so closely , emotionally . @The_integrous_one made me realize yesterday that I prefer keeping things inside me , there are some things which I don’t share with anyone and keep thinking about it . I have no such offline friends with whom I can share things , even if I do , they don’t seem to care much . I that’s why will prefer writing about the day from the start to end as he does and try to share things as much I can .
I feel overwhelmed at night for no reason nowadays .
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You’ve become a man of culture now.
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Aadi is on fire 
guys
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25 Oct
I know I haven’t been here since the diwali vacation started . I thought to spend some nice family time . Studied a little bit in two days . Enjoyed a great diwali yesterday but today I was too much tired so rested all day . I have been messing up my schedules but festival does it all . Still , I could have done workout and meditation but didn’t and I feel bad because I came across some triggers on reddit . I didn’t trigger me but I feel weird inside my mind and I am having unpeaceful sleeps in recent nights .
I am gonna meditate now and then do some school work .
We are heading to village tomorrow so I will be off for another two days but will get back on schedule after that .
- I feel not so good when I am empty , without any work at home . It is a weird feeling of overwhelming , lack of interest and loneliness with anxiety forged by procastination . I am doubtful about the occurence of this , maybe its because I have been messing disciplines lately and consuming more dopamine . It should be fine when working day restarts .
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You also killed that diary.
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Its not killed , its just retired
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You changed your pfp. 
Did you take this seriously .
Looks like you are worried about yout future . Jk
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nah
the trend has stopped now
I noticed I hadn’t changed it
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Trend of putting apple in your pfp?
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no lol
sharabat with a mustache
sharbat singh
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Sharbat singh had lemon with moustache, me orange with moustache, chadta sher Lion witn moustache etc.
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Damn
I am alone today at home and was randomly scrolling phone and suddely and ad came on youtube which suddenly made me wanna watch porn .
I did search for them and peeked on videos . I saved myself from watching and relapsing but peeking is what I did .
I wasn’t feeling good in nofap from past 10 - 12 days because of no workout and meditation and uncontrollable sweets and phone . I need to grt back up , this incident must have drained me for sure , I also feel a little foggy mind because of sudden dopamine rush . Its not good
I need to take action or I will end up relapsing .
I almost for a second thought of relapsing thinking I have come so far . But previous relapse reflected in my mind and I stopped . I am now going to do some pushups and meditate . Its not a good time to face things again . I need my full power to beat exams .
I am doing some pushups and dumping phone after meditation .
I do not want this to happen again , I better engage in studies coz that’s what for I have been left alone in the house .
The day is repeating like my last relapse
My willpower and dedication are weakened very much
But I cannot let it happen it one more time , I have experienced the grief for months , I cannot survive it again .
I must regain willpower again and engage in disciplines .
NOT THIS TIME
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2 November
9:34 pm
I have been resting in home for last 3 days . I think I needed this because problem was getting over hand . But today , I was doing way too much . I was cursing about my problems again and again , thinking and making it worse .
My mom at last got fed up and scolded me hard for hours , it was hell of a session . I was feeling very sad and broken at that moment but after dinner I went for a walk outside and started to think of everything she said and relate . Could not deny it was all right . Every problem she found out of me , how I carry the subtle weakness inside me , crying over everything , getting diseased easily , getting into problems and then doing the same things again . I felt that I complained everywhere about my body , body issues , what my ancestors have gifted me , what God has made me like , but never ever tried seriously to solve it . Thought but not tried . Doing the mistakes myself and bitching about it to her .
I started to do disciplines again timely , started with 5 hours study today . But there are things that I need to do beyond it . She has made exercising every evening compulsory for me now . I always get committed to do things but don’t do it the other day . So making big commitments this time . I will try… try to change , my best . Be it slow or time taking . I don’t want to die the way my fore - fathers did . I need to bring a change in myself , inside me .
Its not about NOFAPPER Aadi anymore , its just about AADI now . How am I like , How I wanna be .
Resolutions -
Exercising daily
physical movements
meditation
walking and sitting straight
not worrying and overthinking
drinking 2 ltrs water
prayer every morning
affirmations before sleeping
indoor walk in every 30 mins
not spending much screen time
no social media
not using abusive words
maintain eye contact with people
walk outside before sleeping
not pretending moody , emotionless and sad
not walking like a ghost (yeah I do walk like that)
keeping smile and being happy
Now I got a whole list of things to do 
Its time to add some real meaning to the title of this diary .
This time , I gotta follow everything coz Mom’s watching my back .
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Exercising daily
physical movements
meditation
walking and sitting straight
not worrying and overthinking: x:
drinking 2 ltrs water
prayer every morning
affirmations before sleeping
indoor walk in every 30 mins
not spending much screen time
no social media
not using abusive words
maintain eye contact with people
walk outside before sleeping
not pretending moody , emotionless and sad
not walking like a ghost (yeah I do walk like that)
keeping smile and being happy
5 Likes