So , I left past my old diary and this will be a fresh new start not for nofap but for DISCIPLINES and SELF DEVELOPMENT .
I built an extreme habit of procastination and laziness in this vacation and I need to work it out , I don’t find anything but just wasting time happy .
I have learnt a lot of things in the past 186 days from nofap and realized that discipline is what drives you towards your goal .
Its no time to complain about myself but a time to change .
There will be a lot of troubles but I am going to do it as bravely as I achieved no fapping till now .
So I started great , did workout and meditation in fresh air , felt good . I experienced that I am most motivated by the start of the day it starts to fade away as the today proceeds because sincereness sticks . However , got many things done pretty better than previous days . Also , even if I start laptop for useful purposes , by the end of the day I start wasting time again , so I need to focus there .
Morning habits
gratefulness prayer : meditation at least 5 mins 20 pushups no phone
Mid - day tasks
School work writing work math
evening - night
10 mins meditation revision preparing for next day prayer and affirmations
Do nots
insta/discord/reddit unuseful work on laptop (almost did) overthinking comparing and complaining bad thoughts behaving sad and introvert
So it was not working out as good and I felt depressed today , I have been messing up habits too much lately . I just sat and thought carefully about where I was going wrong . Its about the way I think of it , I stress too much and give up on my willpower . I take everything too much hard on myself and that depletes my motivation and doesn’t let me do anything further and I end up wasting time again .
Its just like peeking , leading to accidental relapse and then relapsing again and again because you lost hope . I need to start slow and effective , even if I sincerely sit for 3 hours , those 3 hours need to be consistent . I need to build the pace slowly and then move to difficult level . I have to give up that feeling of judging abilities and condition again and again and then acting according to that . I just need to be disciplined and most importantly consistent . That’s all what matters .
I am making a journal for myself in which I will write down all the things about the day and what I learnt . This will help me to keep track of my habits and plan accordingly . Anyways , school is starting tomorrow after 9 days of vacation what felt like 9 hours . So . there it is impossible to be unproductive as you are busy all day , I will get back on track . Though , there will be diwali break not much later but I have learnt what I needed to . I learn a lot things which I regret about first but then realize about and start taking action . This is what makes it fun , learning new things , falling but then expanding your experience .
Yeah bro. School is reopening here too after 9 days. Our school kept our holidays tight with more homeworks and projects. I think normal school days are better than these holidays. Nothing enjoyed as usual.
Yeah Im good . Yesterday , I was on laptop detox . Thought to get a few things done on phone but I was using it for long so my mother snatched it . So overall , it was a productive day yesterday and that much spike of motivation was enough for me to get back again .
Morning habits
gratefulness prayer : meditation at least 5 mins 20 pushups no phone :
Mid - day tasks
School work writing work math
evening - night
10 mins meditation revision preparing for next day prayer and affirmations
Do nots
insta/discord/reddit unuseful work on laptop overthinking comparing and complaining bad thoughts behaving sad and introvert
10 mins meditation
revision
preparing for next day
prayer and affirmations
Do nots
insta/discord/reddit
unuseful work on laptop
overthinking
comparing and complaining
bad thoughts
behaving sad and introvert
Hmmmm, not so good. But I have learnt to take it easy and slow in the beginning. I have prepared a schedule for myself till october end . I will renove some habits which don’t seem to be one place and try to add new ones . Rest is fine .
Was weekend , thought to relax myself . My whole body was paining since 2 - 3 days .
Hoped to study but I was drained -_- , I will yet consider it wasting time because I didn’t do anything productive either , except helping in all that household cleaning stuff before diwali and doing some shopping . I feel , I am sincere but not consistent enough . I will work on that too as monday hits .
It was quite a good day .
And yeah I have to restart workout too , considering doing it from tomorrow and then in evening on working days .
And yeah , do no expect me to entertain with 500 pushups , 1000000 pullups and 696969696969696969 situps . I am a skinny guy , working on keeping healthy and gaining muscles , not getting reduced to atoms . I will just check in whether I did workout or not .
gratefulness prayer 
for complete