A plea, sent out through the midst of the digital space as this weary traveler drew in a raspy, and hoarse breath. This traveler was loosing a fight in which has been battled for years. If he were to collapse the battle might end. He no longer had hself to fight for. Through the weary travelling, he found a love and was able to have a son who he now desperately tries to protect.
That traveler is me, and the plea was heard by a friend who listened to what was going on and directed me here.
Although the beginning that I described sounds fanticized, the battle is real and the struggles and the accounts that I will be sharing here is indeed real. Please respect and listen if you wish.
Yesterday was chaotic, I had a screaming baby in one arm and a pile of things that needed to be done in the other. Throughout the day, my son got krankier and krankier and has had little sleep because for no reason whatsoever he decided that being awake was more fun than nap time. Fun for him, but hearing loss for me.
I love my son, if a burguler came at us I would karate chop the miscreant in the face that’s how much I love my baby.
I don’t know what it was though, weather it was the combination of things to do, or the piled on stress that I have no control over, but I caved.
I indulged in pornography and I splurged…literally. this hasn’t happened just yesterday but over and over again throughout the past. The pain that I feel and the shame that I have is so tense that I feel like a snake has been slithering all over ever so slowly tightening it’s hold. I needed help and that’s where my friend came in.
Anyway I set up an account and I explored a little and found some mates maybe? To help me along I hope, and I hope to be of help here.
Does anyone have any tips for distraction from the urges?
Wish me luck