#4 Transforming Views towards Women - Buddhist Master’s Advice
The Great Master Yin Guang (印光大師) of Pure Land Buddhism (淨/浄土宗) commented on lust that it is the pandemic of all people in the world. Many talented people from past to present were able to become saints or venerable persons, but due to their attachment on lust, they turned out mediocre or even dropped into three lower realms of rebirth.
Master Yin Guang provided three advices to transform our views towards women, as discussed below.
1. Treat all women as our family members (親/亲想)
For elder women, we see them as our mother; for those similar to our age, we see them as our elder and younger sisters; for young girls, we see them as our daughters. Even though our lust is strong, we don’t raise dirty thoughts towards our dear family members, because our relationships are out of love and care.
It’s really true that if we treat Mother Earth as our mother, then all people around the globe are brotherhood and sisterhood. We should treat all women as our dear sisters, caring them with love and compassion, instead of superficial lust towards their body. Women have soul, have unique personalities, maybe cheerful, maybe caring, or maybe diligent. They have their passions and interests, maybe they like drawing, maybe cooking, or maybe they love pets and children. Even pornstars have their passions and dreams. Do you really think they are willing to film porn videos being all nude in front of the camera? IF YOU WERE A PORNSTAR, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL? You must feel great pressure and embarrassment when walking on the street, worrying how others perceive you, not to mention those vicious and vulgar comments on the internet. Even pornstars are women who we should be compassionate to, they have dreams, wish to have a typical life, a dear lover, a warm family, but these would be very far from them.
2. Treat sexy women as our enemy (怨想)
Sexy women invoke our desire, and this desire produces our karma and leads to lower realms of rebirth (animal, hungry ghost, hell), resulting in long-lasting suffers. So such pretty and sexy ladies are even more fierce than tigers and robbers, even more poisonous than arsenic and scorpions. Knowing this fact, we should transform our desire into hatred, They are our enemies who bring us sufferings.
In my opinion, we should direct our hatred towards porn and lustful thoughts. Internet porn poisons our values and morality, and our distorted mind in turn victimise women in daily life. The Nth rooms case in Korea is shocking and horrifying, you cannot imagine how they can abuse female victims with their distorted mind. You may watch the news below or check it on internet:
The words said by Cho Ju-bin, the prime suspect of Nth room crime, is worth reflecting: ‘Thank you for putting a brake on the life of a devil that could not be stopped.’ Obviously he was also a victim of porn and lust, and he in turn victimised other innocent women. Our world is being ruined by the devil of porn and lust. WE NEED TO STOP THE DEVIL! We need to save men as well as women!
3. Visualise the dirtiness of woman body (不淨想)
The beauty of woman body is just an illusion. If we uncover the skin, it is too disgusting to see - bones, fats, muscles, blood vessels, urine and faeces, hairs and organs, no single object is adorable. So we are just deceived by their skin, similar to a vase filled with faeces, which men don’t want to touch. So always visualise the inner parts of woman’s body, then our lust will vanish.
This method is called ‘Reflections on repulsiveness’ in English, you can search it in wiki. I’m practising this visualisation as well and it is quite useful. You can search for images of anatomy and dissection to enhance your impression on human body inside. CAUTION: DO NOT WATCH THEM BEFORE AND AFTER MEAL. You will see how illusory our desire is.
You may include these views in your meditation, or get prepared when you walk on the street. Admittedly, transforming our unconscious mind is really difficult, so frequent practice of these 3 views are necessary. But they deserve practicing. Not only can we reduce or lust, but we also cultivate our compassion towards women, defend our morality and realise the illusion of desire, enhancing our love and wisdom.