Sorry, I relapsed after 155 days. Feeling so guilty!

I don’t know how to say this but, I relapsed after struggling for 155 days. I still can’t digest the fact that I relapsed few minutes ago. Like nothing came to my mind, my companions, my streak, challenges I am into, my goals…

Today was a bit odd day for me, like totally off from those 155 days. Today I was not in my studying room because there was some work going on, so I studied in another room in which I was sitting alone. Generally when I study in my room there is a person sitting in my room. And if not then after seeing the mountain of books I control the urge easily. But today it wasn’t the case. No books in my room today. Also when I started semen retention after 100 days, I completely isolated myself from any sexual content, and then I slowly controlled my mind. But for the last few days that sexual energy was annoying me so much. Like I was not getting any nighfalls or wet dreams. That energy was trapped. I even tried drinking water before sleeping, eating heavy and spicy meals before sleeping, to get a nightfall but I was not getting one. Today I didn’t even bathed. When I saw an erotic pic on internet, I thought " let’s watch something more erotic so that I can get a nighfall “. After that I saw erotic content, and
I toched my penis a few times and then it ejaculated, like I didn’t even fapped but just some touching. And then all that excess stored semen came out. While watching that coming out, I was thinking " Is it real? , did I just relapsed after all those days?”, I just became numb for few seconds. And after that I felt very guilty and helpless. Like the thought that I can’t see that 155 on my streak for next 5 months makes me very sad.

What happened was truly dissappointing. But I promise you guys that I won’t binge now.
Sorry again…

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Bro 155 days is a huge achievement and you should be proud of yourself! We all are proud of you for getting there. Now breaking that streak is no joke, it shouldn’t have happened. But now that’s water under the bridge and nothing can’t be done. Don’t beat yourself up about it. You have a fuck lot of experience now and you know what to do. Just don’t binge and control yourself. And you haven’t lost all your progress. Not by a long shot. At best you are 10 days lost. That leaves you as good as you were on day 145. Start again bro. We are with you

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Brother…
I really felt that…
Though might i am not a right person to advise however as your one of yohr brother in this journey i just want to say that what went wrong is that you wanted a nightfall.
Because after reading this i thinks that mind played the trick of nightfall.

N as i know that you can do it… N i am sure that you will do it.

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No regrets bro. As long as you know to control your urges and have no sexual cravings then you’re safe. Your experience is lesson for all of us.

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You completed salil jamdar challange! Don’t be sad ! Party Kar lo aj challange complete karne ke liya
Next time aur dur jaoge

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I can feel your pain because i too relapsed today after 39 days hard work.

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Brother, I think the mistake you made was not bathing. I’ve always felt that the longer I go without being clean for some reason, harder it is to control the urges. If I didn’t shower that day and worked till night and became sweaty, the feeling of being unclean gives me really bad urges. It’s one of my cues. Also, I really think trying to get a nightfall isn’t the best idea. It will come naturally, don’t worry about it. Also also, you are better than many of us. You held out and beat your demons for 155 fucking days!! You are not back on day one, but on day 145 maybe. DO NOT go chaser, whatever you do. Get back on the streak, right this moment. You know the mistakes you made, and this experience will help you have double this awesome streak this time, we’re sure. Stay Strong!!

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U don’t deserve this, u were one of the biggest inspiration in this community. But u shouldn’t have looked at porn that was a mistake,what did u expect that ur just going to see some porn and would not an erection, ur always going to be attracted to girls that’s inevitable but u mindful watching porn is wrong and I think its ur fault and I know ur situation was hard and very challenging but that’s the whole point it is hard quitting this shit, in one moment of weekness everything is gone but those moment were bound to happen and regardless of ur feeling u should always chose to do the right thing. That’s the real strength

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Hey man
155 days
Every 1 is proud of u
Just dont let urself down
I remember Alexander fought 6 times the battle to win the kingdom but he failed all the 6 time
Then he thought to give up
But whole returning home he took shelter in a cage where he saw a spider build spider wed
The spider tried making it 6 times but the web broke
Alexander thought that the spider wont be able to do but the spider did it the 7th time and it succeeded
This motivated him to try once morehead prepared very well and won the kingdom
(Moral science story of 6th Standard)

Another thing that I learned n.y from religious teaching at home -
When u hit hammer to a stone it doesnt break in the first attempt
U keep trying till 9th attempt but it doesnt break
Then u think of leaving it
But u also think to try once more before leaving and the 10th time it breaks
What did I learn ??
I learnt
We need to be patient and keep trying because the stone was meant to be broken on the 10 th hit
And
What do u think
Was it only the 10 th hit that broke the stone ?
No all 10 hits played equal role to break the stone
If it weren’t for the 1st 9 hits the stone wouldn’t have broken on 10th hit
So 155 days is great
So now u make a target to cross this 155 days
And u will succeed
Just remember
No fap should be part of life
Satisfaction should only be enjoyed with a partner as that is healthy
And we are here for ur support to help
So keep going
Stay happy and keep smiling…:slightly_smiling_face:
Best wishes for every 1

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Never go back to square one, do not let a block dismantle the building you have built! Keep walking brother

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Those 155 days are a really good achievement. It was a good time - surely better than to live another 155 days on PMO and more relapses.

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First of all thank you guys for your support. It means a lot. You guys had been my motivation throughout this journey and will again be in this new journey. Also I agree that, that zero isn’t the same as it was 155 days ago. This time I have a lot of knowledge, experience, and methods to reach more than 155 days. I have learnt a lesson from this relapse. And I will keep it in my mind throughout this new journey.
Next month I am turning 18. I thought a 150+ days streak will be a perfect gift for me. But that can’t happen now. Anyways, I won’t binge now. I promise.

Brother, all this time I was trying to retent my semen but when I actually was able to retent it then I wasn’t capable to hold that. I actually don’t want to get a nightfall but at the same time I also want to get rid of the problems it was creating. I won’t do this next time. I learnt the lesson now.

I didn’t watched porn. Just some erotic images. Basically I watched P-Subs (porn substitutes).
I thought that’s my last option to get a nightfall.

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Relapse can make you feel low but 155 and then relapse you have progressed in knowledge far more than many of us here ,now you are more knowledgeable on what were those few things that you had missed, but now you know about them and next time you’ll be prepared with a plan this is progress no regret buddy what doesn’t kills us only makes us stronger :muscle::muscle:

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I feel like ur trying to defend ur self. Do u think watching those erotic things was the right thing to do ? After all this journey is suppose to be abt getting ur freedom back not other issues like semen retention and the worse possible thing u could do is going back to those things.

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Don’t be sad brother, a relapse is bound to happen at some point. But that doesn’t mean the end of the world. 2 days ago I relapsed from my 40-day streak, and you probably saw our brother Tagore fall from his 100+ day streak couple days back.
Point is, these things happen, and once it’s done there’s no undoing it. You just have to get back up, dust yourself off, and then try again.
This time aim to beat your highest by going 156 days clean. You have done this once, and I know you can do this again. :muscle:

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Forgive yourself and move forward.

Which problems??

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@Angelo34 , I said I ‘thought’ at that time that it will solve my problem. But clearly what I thought was wrong. I agree with you.

My brother @Brahmachari_17 please listen to me carefully.

This was the same way I went. I watched some erotic content then went to porn.
Please don’t PMO again. You still have all the benifits and Improvements you have made till now, there will be chaser please stay strong.
Learn from my mistake I fell down from 100 and I binged. Iam same as dead now!!!
Everything is gone from me. I couldn’t control the urges…

BRITHER PLEASE DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO NOT WATCH PORN AGAIN!!! PLEASE.

IAM IN HELL NOW!!!
If you want to relapse again please fap. Don’t watch porn, it’ll destroy everything.
I 'll say again and again.

Brother never go to porn… please, I beg.

It’ll take your soul away. Learn from my mistake. Keep going.

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Pressing F for respect.

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Dont go to porn! IT IS NOT WORTH IT. YOU WON’T GET ANYTHING FROM IT. YOU’LL LOOSE EVERYTHING INSTEAD. LEARN FROM MY MISTAKE. WHEN YOU FALL DOWN FROM A LONG STREAK. YOU’LL GET STRONG URGES. FAP IF YOU WANT. ITS OK! YOUR BRAIN IS REWIRED FROM PORN. FAPPING IS OK NOW! PLEASE BROTHER, I BEG AGAIN. I CARE ABOUT YOU. DONT WATCH PORN. IT’LL DESTROY EVERYTHING!

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