Selfconqurers diary - Untangling life and finding it's purpose

selfconqurer · September 3, 2020, 4:42pm

Date - 03/ SEPTEMBER - (09) / 2020

Waking up at 6-7am.
Cleaning my space (to have a good and positive environment in morning)
Weight track (to not divert from my goal) = Current wt (80.3Kg)
Meditation.
Remembering my whys and reason for NoFap.
Revison of goals in morning, visualization and affirmation.
No mobile 2h after waking up.
Study (3h)

Intermittent fasting (14-10)
Healthy diet (eating no junk food or outside food or softdrinks)
Eating at deficit.
Drinking water in copper vessel.
Keeping YouTube or mobile or any screen entertainment under 60minutes total.

Walk / workout.
NoF.
No food after 7pm.
Reading Self Improvement book.
Managing and keeping track of my expenses and spending money wisely (waiting a week before buying anything).
Diary (physical for writing daily thoughts), daily goal track, planning for
tomorrow, checking in rewire.
Gratitude.
Sleep by 11:00pm.

Did I honestly work today to get closer to my goals or be better than yesterday: YES

MANDATORY TASKS:
Social media for less than 15min.
Daily prayer morning and evening.
No food before shower.
Making my bed.
Drinking water empty stomach.
Cold shower.

selfconqurer · September 4, 2020, 4:36pm

Date - 04/ SEPTEMBER - (09) / 2020

Waking up at 6 am.
Cleaning my space (to have a good and positive environment in morning)
Weight track (to not divert from my goal) = Current wt ( 80.1 Kg)
Meditation.
Remembering my whys and reason for NoFap.
Revison of goals in morning, visualization and affirmation.
No mobile 1.5h after waking up.
Study (1h)

Intermittent fasting (16-8)
Healthy diet (eating no junk food or outside food or softdrinks).
Eating at deficit.
Drinking water in copper vessel.
Keeping YouTube or mobile or any screen entertainment under 60minutes total.

Walk / workout.
NoF.
No food after 7pm.
Reading Self Improvement book.
Managing and keeping track of my expenses and spending money wisely (waiting a week before buying anything).
Diary (physical for writing daily thoughts), daily goal track, planning for
tomorrow, checking in rewire.
Gratitude.
Sleep by 11:00pm.

Did I honestly work today to get closer to my goals or be better than yesterday: YES but i wasted a lot of time today.

MANDATORY TASKS:
Social media for less than 15min.
Daily prayer morning and evening.
No food before shower.
Making my bed.
Drinking water empty stomach.
Cold shower.

Tagore · September 4, 2020, 4:42pm

You are on beastmode Brother. Love you man

_TIGER · September 4, 2020, 4:50pm

I can’t complete all tasks in my life

selfconqurer · September 4, 2020, 4:58pm

@tagore brother, we are gonna end this addiction and imrove ourselfs… Time to face real problems of life and come out of world of fantasy

@_TIGER, you study 6-9hours normally, and studied 10hrs today! I have not studied for 10hrs in one day in my life!! Waking up at 4am, it’s amazing brother
The thing is we are trying to improve and complete all our tasks is improvement in itself…

_TIGER · September 4, 2020, 5:01pm

Brother I forgot to say one thing to you.i relapsed after 100 days. Actually I saw my counter 100 days then I thought I will do an experiment .but without porn. So I started watching web series .but that time I was not doing meditation .so without touching semen released. .so I started hardmode and completed 7 days. I will never try this experiment

selfconqurer · September 4, 2020, 5:06pm

Brother @_TIGER if it was ejaculation without touching then I don’t think it is a relapse… But I am not sure about it either…
But taking a glimpse of any arousing stuff definitely makes those images and scene stuck in our brain, which hinders the process of recovery (it definitely leads to mental relapse) …

_TIGER · September 4, 2020, 5:11pm

Noooo no it will consider as relapse.because I watched hard web series.i am doing this in my own .so i relapsed . I misused the power of meditation.but this time I will make pure streak . And every night I will make 15 mint meditation tank which will help me ,if I watch very very hard erotic pic suddenly. Now I am making a powerful protection

selfconqurer · September 4, 2020, 5:15pm

If that is so, then give it your all, if your streak is pure without any outside hinderence, it will really be great…
Just pursue your goals like you did before… I beleive in you, I want you to get that no. 1 spot always (like you did and always want)…
All the best brother, get totally rewired from this addiction

selfconqurer · September 5, 2020, 5:36pm

Today I skipped few tasks in morning, as it was becoming monotonus…
I have decided that I will follow my schedule 5-6 days a week and on the 7th day it will be a treat…
I enjoy doing all of my tasks but then also I feel not to do it sometimes, so on Sundays I will try to replace them with some other productive work, I will do my research tomorrow and think about the possible options and get back on track again.

selfconqurer · September 7, 2020, 2:45pm

Date - 07/ SEPTEMBER - (09) / 2020

So, here we are again after two days break.
Really when we fill our day with habits whatever it may be positive or negative, say if we exercise 6am to 7am for 6days a week then on the 7th day, that 1hour will seem to pass slowly…

I took a break and enjoyed as well but as i had not many tasks to do, I was really bored, so it’s better to have some taks on breaks as well otherwise due to lack of work our mind gets towards all kind of stuff as an empty mind is devils playground…

Anyways, feeling good after taking a break…
I will try to fill my weekends with some exciting tasks like swimming, playing basketball, running, picnic, photography, playing instrument or doing other tasks that will make things more lively.

Also, taking breaks make us feel energized but in my case, I become too lazy to do things and brakes instead of being for 1day get extended automatically due to laziness.

Waking up at 4 am.
Stretching for flexibility.
Cleaning my space (to have a good and positive environment in morning)
Weight track (to not divert from my goal) = Current wt ( 80.5 Kg) (I have to get pass this 80kg barrier, I am stuck here for a while now, gaining and coming back here again)
Meditation.
Remembering my whys and reason for NoFap.
Revison of goals in morning, visualization and affirmation.
No mobile 1.5h after waking up.
Study.

Intermittent fasting (12-12)
Healthy diet (eating no junk food or outside food or softdrinks)
Eating at deficit.
Drinking water in copper vessel.
Keeping YouTube or mobile or any screen entertainment under 60minutes total.

Walk / workout.
NoF.
No food after 7pm.
Reading Self Improvement book.
Managing and keeping track of my expenses and spending money wisely (waiting a week before buying anything).
Diary (physical for writing daily thoughts), daily goal track, planning daily task for tomorrow, planning study topics for tomorrow and checking in rewire.
Gratitude.
Sleep by 10:00pm.

Did I honestly work today to get closer to my goals or be better than yesterday: NO
From tomorrow onwards every YES = + 1%
and every NO means = - 1%

MANDATORY TASKS:
Social media for less than 15min.
Daily prayer morning and evening.
No food before shower.
Making my bed.
Drinking water empty stomach.
Cold shower.

selfconqurer · September 8, 2020, 3:34pm

08/ September (09) / 2020

Waking up at 4 am.
Stretching for flexibility.
Cleaning my space (to have a good and positive environment in morning)
Weight track (to not divert from my goal) = Current wt ( 80.7 Kg)
Meditation.
Remembering my whys and reason for NoFap.
Revison of goals in morning, visualization and affirmation.
No mobile before completing 4hr study.
No food before completing 4h study.
Study (5.5h)

Intermittent fasting (Water fast)
Healthy diet (eating no junk food or outside food or softdrinks)
Eating at deficit.
Learning something new.
Drinking water in copper vessel.
Keeping YouTube or mobile or any screen entertainment under 60minutes total.

Walk / workout.
NoF.
No food after 7pm.
Reading Self Improvement book.
Managing and keeping track of my expenses and spending money wisely (waiting a week before buying anything).
Diary (physical for writing daily thoughts), daily goal track, planning daily task for tomorrow, planning study topics for tomorrow and checking in rewire.
Gratitude.
Sleep by 10:00pm.

Did I honestly work today to get closer to my goals or be better than yesterday: NO
as = 12

Starting improvement (today) = 0%
Today’s effect (NO) = -1% current status for improvement.

MANDATORY TASKS:
Social media for less than 15min.
Daily prayer morning and evening.
No food before shower.
Making my bed.
Drinking water empty stomach.
Cold shower.

selfconqurer · September 10, 2020, 5:19pm

September 10, 2020 almost a year ago I made a decision to end this habit… Over these long period of 11months, I have adopted a lot of good habits and quit a lot of bad ones…

But this thing it is really strong, still today my counter shows almost 0, I don’t know how I will come out of this trap, the only good that has happened is I have not watched p* since my last streak 23days ago, but any arousing thing is still the same, still it gives that kick into the brain… What powerful habit should I adopt that will replace this one? I don’t know… Even I cannot keep up with the small habits now… What have I done, if a mistake is done once, it is a mistake, if done again, it is a choice…

This is what I chose? Slavery!!
I don’t know how much I have to suffer from this habit, I cannot blame it on anyone as it is result of my choices only…
They say, the choices we make today, changes our future and this thing if I continue will ruin it definitely as it has did for the past years…

Even after getting support from this beautiful family and companions here, I am still stuck here…
Who is gonna save me? No one, if I cannot save myself!! How will I save myself, met an Acquintice today and it made me realize one year before I was at the same situation in which I am right now, I am still the same only one year has been added to my age!!

How many chance do I need? I am sorry, my parents have a lot of expectations from me but I am a disgrace, they really don’t deserve a son like me!!

Nothing gets to my head, coz I am still the same and still at the same place, jerking off like a loser, living in a world of fantacy, my friends even my friends younger than me are moving ahead in my life and I am just the same person…

This habit is the biggest enemy, I know it’s all because of this habit only but I am so weak that I cannot do anything about it which has caused so much trouble… My name and actions do not match at all!! I cannot conquer myself!! My name is worthless…

Please God, give us strength and take us out of this habit
A great life and great future lies ahead but only if I work for it!!

AndyDufresne · September 10, 2020, 5:36pm

I know from experience that it’s so easy to feel so frustrated and depressed after you relapse but believe me you’re not the same person, my brother. The road to success is filled with disappointments and failures, it just needs some mental toughness. Fail forward and keep your head up.

_TIGER · September 10, 2020, 10:00pm

Me bhi zero streak par hun bhai. GIR KAR UTHANE WALE KO HI BAZIGAR KEHTE HE… LAGE RAHO …

JumpingBuddha · September 11, 2020, 5:14am

Dear @selfconqurer,

Work on your thoughts- they are the root cause of both misery and bliss.

If your mind drag you towards bad thoughts, bring it back, direct towards opposite and positive thoughts. If needs be scold it, abuse it but avoid it .

And you already know the secret-

So what are you waiting for?

Peace

Tagore · September 11, 2020, 4:15pm

My brother I’ll tell you what habit you should adopt. Listen, wake up every single day at 4 without failing and run. Or study hard, do something that sucks every single day. Get uncomfortable, you know how we got addicted to this shit!
Because we were searching for comfort always. We didn’t like pain, when the first sign of pain came we escaped reality by jacking off like a weakass.
Now what is the opposite of it?
Get uncomfortable! Do what’s hard. Work on your purpose every single day. Forget your counter, don’t look at it more than 1-2 seconds. Focus 100% on doing whats hard and becoming successful.

[

Yes, this is the truth, this is the reality right now. If you ask me too Iam fucked up as well.
Iam insecure, low self-esteem, fearful, can’t even face my cousins and enjoy time with them because I have been doing this sin and putting myself down every single day. And accepting this is the first step of change. People don’t want to accept this reality, you know how many millions are in denial and wasting time every single day. They’ll realise the truth when they become 40-50 when their sexual energy becomes zero and motivation goes away.

Now te yourself the truth bro, don’t be like everyone who wants to say nice things about themselves and repeat the same mistakes again anda again. Look in your eyes in the mirror and tell him where he is right now? What has he done?? How does he feel in the inside!!!
If you feel worthless tell that to yourself! Point blank.
And also tell that small man within you that, this is it Iam going to become my best self from today onwards!!!
I’ll push my limits every single day!!!

I want to suggest two things to you bro, like you I too have touched rock bottom and now Iam growing every single day.

Becoming 1% better everyday is the goal.

Please read can’t hurt me by David goggins.

It’ll open your eyes bro. The story of that man and his struggle to become the touchest man inn this world will show us the reality

and read atomic habits

And implement the extremely practical ideas in that book.
It is saving me. It’ll save you too. We got this bro. We can do this!!!
No matter what

selfconqurer · September 13, 2020, 8:10am

12/ September (09) / 2020

Cleaning my space (to have a good and positive environment in morning)
Weight track (to not divert from my goal) = Current wt ( 80.8 Kg)

Intermittent fasting (16-8)
Healthy diet (eating no junk food or outside food or softdrinks) (can say almost ate few pieces of biiscuit)
Eating at deficit.
Drinking water in copper vessel.

Managing and keeping track of my expenses and spending money wisely.
Diary (physical for writing daily thoughts), daily goal track, planning daily task for tomorrow, planning study topics for tomorrow and checking in rewire.
Gratitude.
Sleep by 10:00pm.

Did I honestly work today to get closer to my goals or be better than yesterday: YES

Starting improvement (today) = - 4% (8-11sep)
Today’s effect (YES) = +1% therefore current status for improvementimprovement is -3%

I did not study yesterday but still the day was decent as I finished my tasks and felt getting out of chaser.

I am gonna keep a track on them and post them here till next Saturday because I think I have made it a habit and can do it easily.
MANDATORY TASKS:
Social media for less than 15min.
Daily prayer morning and evening.
No food before shower.
Making my bed.
Drinking water empty stomach.
Cold shower.

I did not post my tasks yesterday as I locked my phone from 6PM (12sep) to 12PM (13sep) and first of all I was agitated but today I am feeling great as I could do a lot of things…
Right now I have three major problems.

A. Chaser
B. Phone addiction.
C. Laziness/procastination.
I have to get rid of phone (B.) and therefore for which I will lock it to get rid of laziness and procastination (C.)

I have to work upon:

Studies
Habits and self-improvement books to prevent from task (A.) that is chaser.
Learning something new everyday.

selfconqurer · September 13, 2020, 12:27pm

13/ September (09) / 2020

Stretching for flexibility. (Not proper but still)
Cleaning my space (to have a good and positive environment in morning)
Weight track (to not divert from my goal) = Current wt ( 80.6 Kg)
Affirmation.

Intermittent fasting (16-8)
Healthy diet (eating no junk food or outside food or softdrinks)
Eating at deficit.
Drinking water in copper vessel.

No food after 6pm.
Reading Self Improvement book.
Partial Digital detox 6pm(yesterday) to 12pm(today) (18h) can be used only for reading self help books or studies or receiving calls.
Managing and keeping track of my expenses and spending money wisely (waiting a week before buying anything).
Diary (physical for writing daily thoughts), daily goal track, planning daily task for tomorrow, planning study topics for tomorrow and checking in rewire.
Gratitude.
Sleep by 9:00pm.

Did I honestly work today to get closer to my goals or be better than yesterday: YES

Starting improvement (today) = - 3%
Today’s effect (YES) = +1%
Current status for improvement= -2%

MANDATORY TASKS:
Social media for less than 15min.
Daily prayer morning and evening.
No food before shower.
Making my bed.
Drinking water empty stomach.
Cold shower.

I read a rule which was from book 5am club by Robin sharma shared by my brother @aman1 (looking forward to read this book) which said-

At first all change will be difficult, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end.
Everything you now find easy, you first found difficult.

I was struggling to find meals which I can eat daily which are healthy and which I enjoy and can continue for my lifetime, I found them but I wanted to take a break from them on Sundays but I did not know what to eat on Sunday (because I don’t like to spend too much time on cooking)
Finally found out what works for me and what not, there are a lots of option to make your meal tasty and healthy, for a long time I had been too conscious and struggling about it, sacrificing taste for health or health for taste and now I can find out balance between the two…
I am feeling great.

MM2020 · September 13, 2020, 12:41pm

This is what we should fight for…to be better than yesterday. Great Bro.