I had been in this addiction from a long long time (almost 15-16 years) I always thought why am I so lazy, unmotivated, not disciplined, feeling sleepy all the time. In school, we would get presentation on awareness against addiction like cigrett, alcohol and all. We would see the side effects of these things as feeling sleepy, laziness, lack of motivation and all but I would think that i dont induldge in such activities then why am I lazy all the time? I desperately tried to find out the answers but could not.
Most of my golden time was wasted by this addiction, I never realized that time was slipping this fast!! I was a good student in my early school life but things became worse and worse as I grew up, myself, my sister, mother had to face a lot of embarassment because of me as to why I ran away from studies. I used to bunk school 70% of time as I reached high school even I started to bunk my final exams!!
A lot of precious moments and memories could have been formed, joy and happiness could have been experienced, but I wanted to be alone always with this addiction.
After finishing my school I went to hostel in college, things became better in my first year but by the second year I got smartphone and slowly I started spending a lot of time in watching p*rn!!
As I grew older, during my college days I somehow felt that this habit of masturbation is not good but I could not stay away from this…
But after each passing year I started bunking college again, giving excuses, I used to spend 80% of my time sleeping, watching p*, masturbating and eating, and slowly other addictions also came in my life…
I always wanted to be alone!!
As I grew older, during my college days I somehow felt that this habit of masturbation is not good but I could not stay away from this… No matter how strong I committed towards it my pledge would break by night, my relations and everything got ruined was always consumed by sucidal thoughts, did not have energy to work for anything, always complaint, always angry always sad, always blaming!!
The years after my college were the same I took drop for exam preparation but I was in that same cycle in fact worse. I used to stay in my room, binge watch along with other addictions, one day I saw that my average daily screen time usage was almost 14 hours!!
My journey to find about nofap is another story but I realized it’s power when I reached my first streak of 3 days!! It was like the biggest achievement for me…
I have now, realized the power to complete all your dreams lies in nofap, as it gives the energy to work on your goals, this is a powerful source of energy and all our dreams and goals can be achieved by this strength if we put our effort daily to become better.
I want to correct my past mistakes, realize who am I really, make my parents proud of me and do something for society and help the needy people who are really out of oportunities.
God has given us gift by making us humans, I want to seek higher purpose and fulfil the purpose of my life, not just be confined in a room for all my life, a lot of things are to be done.
This is a big and beautiful world, I want to fall, make mistakes, learn from them, become better, enjoy every moment, want to live my life and do what really makes me happy from inside. 
Age 25M
I have to stop wasting my life, a lot of precious time has been wasted, I write diary And set some goals and habits that I have to complete daily but I don’t think that I am disciplined enough to follow it daily with honesty and there is a lot that I want to ask someone for help and guidance, I am very confused about my life right now… I think that if I write my goals here, I have to stand on them because everyone is watching… Maybe then I can be more disciplined and truthful to myself!
1) Meditation-10min
3) no screen 2 hours after waking up (could control only 1 hour)
1) Meditation
3) no screen 4 hours after waking up (only 1 hour)
WEEK 1/5
Day1/5
