Rock's Diary [28]

Me Nofap Kyun Kr Raha Hu? Kya Problem Hai Purani Wali Life Style Me? Kya Mil Jayega Ye Nofap Krke?

Ans: Me Apni Purani Life Se Tang Aa Gya Hu. Hamesa Bimar Rahne Ka Dr Laga Rhta Hai. Kuch Na Kuch Choti Moti Bimari Lagti Rahti Thi. Wo Bhi Is Bhari Jawani Me Jo Ki Bahut Hi Energetic , balwan Or High Immunity Power Se BhaRi Hoti Hai. To Mera Middle Age ME Kya HoGa, Budhape Me Kya HoGa.
Health K AlaWa. Mera Social Relation Bhi Kuch Khas Nahi Hai. Bachpan Me Jo Dost Bna Liye The Bs Unhi Se Bate Kr Leta Hu, Nye Logo Se Bat Krne Me Hichkichahat Hoti Hai, Ghar Me Koi Mehman Aa Jaye To Chip Jata Tha. Koi Kuch Puche To Ek Sahi MAture Jawab Nahi De Pata Tha. Bs Bachho Ki Tarah Srmata Tha. Dekha Jaye To ME Sirf Sareer Se Bada Ho Raha Tha Dimag Se Nahi. Bada Hota Hi Kyun Jo Samay Apneaap Ko Vikasit Krne Me Dena ChahiyE Tha Wo Mene Short Pleasure Me Gawa Diye Or Apna Motivation Or Energy Bhi Gawadi Jiski Wajah Se Kuch Bhi Seekhne Ka Mn Nahi Hota Tha.
Ladkiyao Se To Mujhe Bahut Dr Lagta Tha . Hamesa Yahi Dr Lagta Tha Ki Koi Ladaki Bura Na Man Jaye. Na Hi Unse Majak Kr Pata Tha Or Nahi Koi Dhang Ka Jawab De Pata Tha. Or Me Apneaap Se Kahta Ki Me Ek Achha Insan Hu Ek Seedha Insan Hu Isi Liye Me Esa Hu. Ye Sab Bakwas Tha.
Ek Time Aya Jab Mene Wo Book Padhi Or Sabse Lambi Streak 25 dino Ki Banai Lekin Or Knowledge Ki Kami Ki Wajah Se Tika Na Raha. Or Me Apni Wapas Purani Wali Habbit Pr Aa Gya.
Pta Nahi Me Kb Se M Krta Aa Raha Tha . Sayad Jab Se School Me Gya Tha Tab Se. Tab To Me Daily Krta Tha , fir Jab 11 ya 12 sal Ka Hua To Itnti Akal Aai Ki Laga Ki Jarur Isme Koi Protine Hoti Hai Kuch Na Kuch To Wast Hota Hai Fir Mene Ek Din Ka Gap Krna Suru Kr Diya Fir Uske Bad 2 din Ka Gap, Iske Bad To 2, 3 din K Gap Tak Hi Seemit Raha. Kabhi Kabhi Jab Jyada Paresan Hota Tha To 5 din Ka Gap Bhi Hua.

Is Cheej Ne Mujhe Bachpan Se Hi Khokhla Kiya.
Me Nato Kabhi Motivated Raha, Nahi Ladkiyo Se Bat Bni, Na Hi Healthy Raha, Kuch Kam Suru KrA To Pura Nahi Kiya, logo Ko Face Nahi Kr Pata Tha. Dekha Jaye To Mene APna Bachpan Kafi Khokhla Spend Kiya.
Aj Me 26 ka Ho Gya Hu. Ab Mujhe Apni AAge Ki Life Esi GHisi Piti Nahi Jeeni. Ye Life Sirf Ek Bar Milti Hai. Or Ise Me khulKe Jeena Chahta Hu Wo Sab Pana Chahta Hu Jo Me Pane K Lyaka Hu. Me Is Form Me Ana Chahta Hu Jo Mujhe Bina PMO k Hona Chahiye Tha.Mujhe Attractive Banna Hai, Heathy Rahna Hai, Social Circle Badhana Hai, LifE Me Bahut Kuch Pana Hai. Apne Sare Sapne Pure Krne H. Life Bahut Badi Hai Isme Se Me 3 month To Me De Hi Sakta Hu. Ek Pathhar Bhi Murti Tab Banta Tab Wo Kst Jhelta Hai.

Starting my journey to make myself.
Age 28, male
Day 0
Max pure streak 9

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Completely relate with you bro… thats my biggest problem

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Us moment bro.

All the best rocky bhai.


Smash that urge.

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All the best bro!!! You’re a storm!!

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Day 1 is going to finish. Here is my entry.
Any urge/trigger … No

Any slip … No

Habit… Learned trading.

Escape plan … Take deep breath, look around and focus on little things, lock the phone zen mode, ask yourself why should i do pmo.

Affirmations… Each second my brain is healing rewiring itself. New cels are forming. I m realising my life value. Skin is getting shiny, memory is becoming strong. My willpower is sky high. I m living my life as it should be.

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Day 2 is going to complete.
Some thoughts came but i didn’t participated in that. I will use less mobile as possible.

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Not its day 0
After 3 days of streak i got relapsed today.
I want to tell that i pushed my self a lot to tackle this. I got urges yesterday and i fight it whole day yesterday. Whole night the fantasies came in mind no other thoughts came. Only P scenes were flashbacking. My mind got tired so to get ride of it relapsed morning today.

My mistake: i was fantasising love and romance. I thought it is natural, yes it is natural it is not addiction but such fantasies leads to watch P to complete the fantasy. So in next streak i will take care of it.
Sorry guys.

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I have decided to track my actions.
I mean, i will count the urges, thoughts which tries to trigger me and also how many times i beat them.
This routine will give me motivation. People just talk that i relapsed, i lose, urges was strong. Why don’t they say i tackled them many times. Such thoughts

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I am back with new outlook. Credit goes to @NukePizza . I realised that i was taking nofap streak as doing an extraordinary thing to get extraordinary benefits but no… . Nofap is a path to get back in your natural normal life.

pmo is actually an out world, hollow and illusionary thing. I used to ask myself “why do i want to do nofap?” this sentence tells a mentality in which pmo is a part of my ‘narural life’ and nofap is a out world thing if i do nofap i will get benefits. It’s a totaly wrong thinking.

We have grown up without pmo since childhood. We have grown up with all that benefit/qualities(what we aspects with nofap). Those qualities were part of us. after an age we got trapped from pn. This pn snached away all qualities and our personality changed slowly slowly. Now we call ourselves addicted and want to get back all those qualities as nofap benefits.

We need to changes our perspective. Whenever urges/triggers come. We need to think it’s an out world thing. It’s empty and illusion. If you want to ask yourself a question then ask " why should i do pmo? What’s in this empty illustration?" But don’t ask “why should i do nofap?” Bcz you were following nofap before addicted to pmo. Just Recall your childhood.

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man! Spot on! I agree with every line!

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I m facing strange thing. I getting so much bore right now. I imagined about pn scene, nothing felt. Even i opened pn website, nothing felt. All those videos were feeling like jouiceless, emotionless , fake videos. That videos are not making even a bit of dopamine.
What happened to me?

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I became overconfident :pensive: and trapped

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That sucks man. i know that trap so well. All of a sudden i look down on everyone who cant maintain sobriety or those who dont even have awareness.

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the “scales fell from your eyes” man :*D you see porn for what it really is, boring, empty, uninteresting, worthless garabge :100:

Dont keep looking too long though, it will re-infect your brain

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:expressionless::expressionless::expressionless::expressionless::expressionless::expressionless::expressionless::expressionless::expressionless::expressionless:
Only self believe will bring me out from pmo world. So let’s build self believe.
I was nerver addicted to pmo. I did bcz i allowed myself. I was manipulated by pixels only. A illusionary world in hand.
There are tons of people who was badly addicted even more than me. Those people tried and got free from pmo. Now they are living there pmo free life . That life is normal not magical and will become magical by time. They are following good habit in that time in which they used to do pmo. Now they are free. Then why the hell i can’t get free from this sit. What’s stopping me also Stopped them but they survived, through away thier phone, distrcted himself,asked for help, they faced that lifeless boringiness what i also face. They fought them but i dropped the weapons. I did this bcz i didn’t have that burning desire. This desire comes when you see the reality of your life.
I have noticed that when i frequently watch nofap video , i stay in higher energy band and make a big streak. It’s mean i will have to do many efforts. After a time pmo will become weaker and weaker.
Why everybody tells abouts benefits journey and not pain . They should also tell stages of struggle,pain, boringiness as streak go higher.

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@rockisrock

I believe in you

say to yourself “why is it so easy for me to ignore pmo?” “Why is pmo so irrelevant to me?” “Pmo is so unimportant to me, why in the world is it so easy for me to forget pmo?” “Why is it so easy for me not to care about pmo?” “Why do I see through pmo’s illusion so easily?”

Aka implying the reality you desire in the question already

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I wanna remove pn from my life. It is just a timepas thing. It gives me nothing.
What can i do to from from this?
I can lock all apps so that i can’t access any media. I can go a walk. I can’t talk to a friend. There is a huge world beside phone and pn.
Yes i may feel very uncomfortable, boring and strong desire to watch pr but i will not see bcz those who are from it . They faced all difficulties. They went from hell that time. It’s possible. I can do it. I will do it.

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say to yourself “it is not uncomfortable, there is actually no desire at all to watch porn and if Im honest with myself, the “desire” before was just an illusion. I can see through the illusion and I see that porn has no content at all, its empty, annoying, distracting, uninteresting, irrelevant garbage that I dont think about at all, because its a waste of time and there are much more interesting things that I care about”

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Ok so i have to keep a positive mindset. This mindset comes after rebooting. Ok so i have to imagine that i have come at that point and now pn is so weak, empty and illusionary.

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yes its true, use the words well, dont say “I need to come to…” say "I need to realize the (obvious) clear, self evident fact that porn is empty, illusary garabage

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