I was not able to chew food peacefully.
There was constant mind distraction and anxiety. It was all fucked up.
But things are improving now. Cheers.
@Sparklymango
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Things are definitely looking up 
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Day 13th completed.
The motherfucking sleeping pills are making me lethargic and draining my energy. I wont take it tonight.
I am not making good progress because of this pills. I must quit them at any cost.
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Keep pushing pro u are a hero . Find some hobbies or walking it’s great .
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Day 14th completed.
I didnt take my sleeping pill yesterday.
Today is like a flat line for me. Without the sleep you are a walking talking zombie.
But it feels good to solve your problems by yourself acting in right direction.
Today there was a topic in which a guy was talking that he fapped after 5 days because of stress and anxiety. He also says that he relapses mainly because of the anxiety issue.
Well, when we make a choice that whatever happens i shall not fap so we should stick to it. Yes; anxiety is a problem but fapping isnt its solution. Fapping would make the anxiety worse because we are running from the problems.
Actualy we have to identify our problems and find their solutions and nofap will exactly do this for you. It will guide you . It will provide enough strength to face your fears.
No matter whatever happens we must complete our journey. We must not have any doubts nonetheless we should not start our nofap journey. Once the decision is taken we shall complete it. Completing a Goal will itself boost our belief on ourself. We shall become more confident about ourself this way.
Yesterday night i sliped from my direction. I did sex without ejaculation. Whenever i watch TV i am always hungry for that dopamine hit. I dont try to watch some ■■■■ stuff myself but if something accidently appears i dont hesitate to take pleasure out of it. It is costing me badly.
I did sex today also without ejaculation.
I am making this journey tough for myself. Sex is also a sort of edging if you observe it . My advise is if doing Reboot one must avoid sex also.
So its my last mistake. I am not doing it again. Hence i am not resetting my counter.
The Reason for not Resetting is
I did edging and i was in total control of the situation so i managed to escape out of it. If i would have submitted completly before lust goddess i would have lost but now we are even.
I am still fighting my demons. Dont Judge me. I am still a mortal fighting against our common enemy and yes mistakes happens. Best thing is to confess them and move on.
I am determined to complete my Reboot this time. If i again did sex it will be my defeat and i shall reset my counter for that. I think now i have spoken my heart out please dont ask for me to reset. Last time also i had left because of this issue. In this times of weakness stand with me like real brothers. And Yes i promise
Together we shall again rise.
2 Likes
Becareful, don’t turn your wife into a lustful demon in your head. There is nothing amoral about a man having sex with his wife, if you want to go Hardmode for superpowers that’s your chose but don’t demonise sex with her because of your own mental struggles. Just stay away from ■■■■, that’s the real evil. Stay strong resurgent, we are here for you. 
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Day 15th completed.
Yesterday i had to take sleeping aid because i had a sleepless night but today again i am ready to go for a night without sleeping medication.
Today i woke with good feelings. I did yoga in morning and after that without going for smartphone i decided to do my studies. So i studied. This time i made some progress in my study timings. I studied more than before.
In afternoon i faced some guests in my house with good confidence. Social anxiety is going away day by day. It feels good. I did a heavy workout in evening. If you are following my diary you may find that i ran out of gas after the workouts but today was not the case. After workout i pressed my clothes and again i did some study.
I have still enough energy to write my diary which is a benefit.
I will do some yoga before going to bed today. I hope that today i would get a good night sleep. …
3 Likes
Day 16th completed.
So i did it. I didnt took my sleeping pill yesterday but no help came i did some yoga before sleeping but no aid. My brain is so fucked up. I know things will not change in just 16 days so i am asking for some patience from god if he exist.
Though i had not slept the whole night. Passing the day (today) is not a big thing now. Things are going smoothly with the energy which i have saved from the past 15 days.
Today i received an another Benefit. The benefit of hearing. Before i was so agitated that if any noise i hear i couldnt identify it and my nerves will react in a weird way. Its like there is some danger and i have to save myself. I name it false identification of surrounding noises. But now whenever there is some noise in my surroundings. My ears hear them and identify the nature and give True signals to my brain. And my nerves stay calm and doesnt act on the stimulus. It feels it. In simple words now i have better understanding of my surroundings. My system is becoming calm with each day passing.
Another benefit is that now i can see things clearly. It was not that i wear spectacles before but there was a unclear picture of things in my mind before. Its like some kind of plastic was there. I hope you all who are reading may understand. These things are hard to explain. I am trying my best.
The point is whatever i was seeing before i didnt took much notice of them because i had little power to visualise and go in depth of things but now as i am becoming powerful day by day. I am seeing all things crystel clear as they are. Definately my eyes are shining and have improved. Nofap gives life to the dead .
3rd benefit i have talked about it before i think i have listened to music today but i am sure this benefit can be experienced after just one week of streak.
Yes Music feels like dope. Its like medicine to calm troubled mind now.
Cheers. Life is getting great.
I am sure all things will get right in right time. Just have to be patient and keep myself away from edging and relapsing.
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But isn’t sex awesome as long as you don’t ejaculate ? Unlike masturbation, partners exchange sexual energy. Not sure about this though. I believe that making love is a whole lot different than lustful fucking.
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Day 17th completed.
It was a very bad day for me. It opened my eyes and show me the truth about myself. I am equal to a person who has a paralysis. Its like i have a paralysis in my brain. It is making me so bad.
I have plenty of brain fog in my brain. My head keeps on shaking when i am driving a car or talking with a person. Its making me so weird and it feels very bad.
It is hurting me inside. Tearing my soul.
I know i have a long path to travel and judging 16 days of nofap is foolish.
I know that i can quit sleeping pills which are making me sleepy and brain fog.
Yes i can be a normal person again.
Yes i can become the person who i was in my innocent childhood before my 14.
I know it will take a lot of years to improve myself and yes i am ready for that change now.
I am on a journey of becoming a Man that i supposed to be.
I do not want life of a crippled foolish mad person.
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I am sure you will become that person . Keep moving forward 
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add me in …am new to this
Keep it up brother. I will be reading updates. Tje pain will subside soon.
Lets become gods. My personal goal as of a week ago is 200+ days. I wont let myself orgasm till my birthday. Its time to flourish.
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This is my diary bro. Not a competition.
Hope you understand english.
Day 18 completed.
Though i have a fucked up brain but nowadays i am a Risk Taker. I dont hesitate about What if or Oh No i shall do that tomorrow. I do my task then and there with all what i got.
I take actions now. Some times when energy is low it Sucks totaly but when energy goes up its Awesome.
I am waiting for days when energy will be enough to carry me through whole day. I am also in search of that peace of mind.
In public places where there is a lot of movement and noises my system Fails. I starts to act abnormaly but when i am at home it all become alright. I think i dont have a habit of facing all that but i am sure it will be alright.
Today in evening Sun light never seemed so wonderful. Even i felt the kiss of breeze flowing around me. Its getting better and better. Keep going on your journey. Everyday is different. Every moment is new.
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You are doing good @Resurgent…keep going
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These lines are very unique and inspiring .
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