Hi all. I know I asked it in some way before, but now I came out in fromt of my GF and we have followup questions.
Here is my story:
So. I recently got into my first relationship and shortly after I discovered that I might have PIED. I am 30,5yo doing M since 12yo. I did it to P since 18yo and excessively and to high speed since 22yo. I realized that its an issue as 28yo. For year and a half (till 29,5) it was reduced, but not much and I did not tracked my progress. Last year was good. I had few minor streaks like 20+ or 50+ and also some 3ish days streaks, but then I did 163 days, then it was month of 2 - 5 days streaks and then it was 20, 2 (twice a day), 2 (twice a day), 18, 3 (twice a day), 23 (today and counting).
So here is the problem:
I got into relationship and she knows it (since yesterday) and she is very supportive. But, last week we tried to have sex, but I failed. During foreplay I lost my arousal. I suddenly stopped being horny and all what comes with it. Just like turning a switch off. We tried it later but then I could not turn myself on back. We also had some talks and whole evening were a bit emotional for me and also it should be my FIRST time (so maybe performance anxiety and stress played some role there). And also I felt that I am in a flatline. So:
- first time (performance anxiety and stress)
- 18 days streak
- flatline
- emotional evening
- and I started to thinking about what am I doing with my hands etc.
- I were a bit stuffed form our dinner (steak and potatoes + glass of vine)
I am not having morning wood right now when I am alone. When we are cuddling I am kinda aroused and about 50% hard. There is some leakage as well. When we are sleeping during night I usually woke up hard. First week after last FAP I were more hard that I am now, but I guess its flatline hitting me now.
Also I dont have crazy self esteem (its better that it used to be but not great) and phimosis, but my errection is not painful and when I used some toys (in past) I did not had any problems. So I am hoping its just PIED or just some block from my brain.
Here is what I read about how to beat PIED (if thats my case), but its not consistent:
- Ideally I should wait around 90 days to fully recover, or be usable, but I read that only 30 days are really needed without any sex. Then we can start to try fooling around.
- I should start do exercise and reversed kegel
- I should stop eating carbs or at least restrict them a bit
- I should meditate
- Ideally I should do kissing cuddling, etc. with my GF
- I might have this problem because I dont have enough knowing about how to connect to real person, so I need to learn that
So here are my questions:
1. Should we really wait 90 days or 30 is enough to start to try to have a sex and see how hard I be?
2. What is ON and what is OFF the table during reboot. Cuddling, kissing, hugging is fine, but what about spooning, laying on each other end kissing which leads to rubbing my private area with her leg, so its kinda foreplay, coz it cause some leakage, sleeping naked and cuddling/spooning. What is better, and what should be off the table. (Also she wants to know what she can do to me and what not, to speed up my recovery. How can she help me)
3. Exercise and meditation and kegels are not a problem for me, but what about cards. Is it better to cut them out or at least restrict them?
4. What about my connection to real person? Can it be an issue or is it reversible and if yes, what steps should we do? Just things from pint 2) or there is something more?
5. What should I avoid. Like alcohol, protein shakes, certain meals, etc. What can slow my progress.,
6. Any other hints that I forgot
Thanks for reading it all and bless you all.