September 10, 2024 Day 42
I am changing this to a diary, so that I can be accountable to what I think during the day. I know that it says dreams but that is what it is all about.
Okay here it goes. Some of you probably never heard of Autogynephilia and I will clarify it for you. It is man who dreams as himself as a woman. I have been doing this since I was 11 years old. I always looked at my mother and imagined myself as she is.
Yes I did try a few things on that belongs to mother at that age but I didn’t feel good about it. About age 13 I tried again and I was aroused by the feel of the clothes. That is when I first masturbated. So in short the feel of the clothes aroused me but I still didn’t feel right. Then I was 16 and begin again imagining myself again as a woman.
I talked to counselor but I didn’t mention anything about my situation. I just told that I was depressed and not thinking clearly. Everyday that went by I start imagining myself as a woman and it aroused me to masturbate at least 1 time everyday. Then to catch up to this day, back in 2021 I found the rewire companion forum. I knew that I could not be judged by these people on here. So if to inform yes I still have Autogynephilia but I am overcoming this obstacle as well.
To change things differently I haven’t thought of being a woman for 42 days straight now. I will also like to thank you for listening to what I had to say.
God bless y’all and don’t give up hope. Keep up the fight and know that our redeemer lives.