September 11, 2024 Wednesday
Day 43
Okay I want to tell you more about me after age 16. In 2007 I joined the Navy and was released 5 months after. I thought during that time I could repress my thoughts. But around 3 months in the Navy I had those thoughts again. I got very angry at another sailor and almost committed suicide. I talked to a counselor during my time in the Navy, but I still didnโt tell them my situation.
So to go a little further in my life, I did sleep with a night gown that (of course) was a womanโs. I enjoyed sleeping in that for about a week. Then I threw it away. Then I bought a bra that fit me but I didnโt make any fake breast. I also bought panties that fit me as well. Then I did something that was also embarrassing I bought a dress (nothing fancy mind you) just a plain dress. Yes and also bought some pantyhose.
To began a little further I tried on these things behind closed doors. Then I knew something was missing. Then I went and bought a whole makeup kit and nail polish. Then I went home to try this again. Then something strange inside of me aroused me. I never did go out in public like this because I was embarrassed.
Then a little bit I further on I went to church and talked to a pastor about this (yes I finally spoke up about my problem). The pastor directed me to Deuteronomy 22:5 and then I understood what was going on inside of me. I went home that day and threw away all of my feminine clothes. I thought it was over.
Then a few years later back I was 32 it all started back over. (Mind you I supposed to have been a Christian since 1996.) so I bought everything again and started looking up sissy schools on the internet. I was excepted at one of the schools as Carrie Leatherwood and then I changed my mind. I seen the stuff that they do there and it grossed me out.
Now at age 36 I found Rewire companion forum and knew that this could help me. So I created a name that was close to my belief and it would have been Believe_100% but the forum wouldnโt accept the % symbol. So I went with Believe_100 that was close enough. Yes during that time at age 36 through 38 I have uninstalled this app several times. But when I got back to this app I found @user1234567890 and he help me along the way alot.
Well just wanted to let you know my life story. We are all caught up now and I havenโt thought about it for at least 43 days now.
God bless yโall and donโt give up hope. Keep fighting and know that our redeemer lives.