Hello there everyone, I’m 25 year old woman who have been addicted for 5 years now, and it’s mainly because I live in a society where sex is very taboo, so that makes it very difficult or almost impossible to have sex safely before mariage. There is a HUGE stigma around women who have sex before mariage, and it’s expected of us to stay virgin and not ingage in any sexual activity with anyone, plus there is no place to do it except in the woods or some weird place like that, condoms are expensive and you can’t get a birth control prescription if you’re not married. So as you can imagine it’s an absolute nightmare to live in this country and that’s what make people like me turn into porn because there is absolutely no way you can have sex until you get married. I really want to get rid of my addiction but these conditions I live in are making me nuts
So I’m confused. Is pmo a problem for you?
Yes definitely, it’s screwing my brain I’d prefer having sex normally with a guy rather than masturbating to porn
Having a guy won’t solve your problem you know.
You would still remain addicted to sex. Addiction is never healthy.
You have bigger problem on your hand. This addiction.
You said it yourself.
For now, don’t think about getting a guy. It will happen down the road anyway. For now, you need to take care of yourself.
Btw ‘thoughts that make you nuts’ can be common in this journey. It can come in any shape and form. But the good news is it will get easier and easier as time passes. Focus on yourself. Saving yourself.
I always thought that I would help you know, because having sex is healthier in my opinion
With this kind of thinking you will fool yourself into remaining into this addiction. I think you don’t want that.
Not judging. Just trying to help.
Come on, you honestly know you want to get out of this addiction.
my problem is not with sex. My problem is with addiction. And some people are addicted to sex so bad that they commit adultery. Anyway, that’s discussion for another day. I’m not interested in having that discussion now because i think it will not bring any benefit to our current topic.
I am in similar situation but my circumstances are completely different.
I can not get married before i finish my graduation. And i don’t believe in sex outside of wedlock. So i think you can draw the similarity.
But i can not let this addiction ruin me. There’s no point in poking at you know why my circumstances are like this…
Don’t let the addiction ruin your beautiful life
Yeah but in my opinion pmo addiction and sex addiction are not the same, I’m unfortunately still a virgin so I can’t possibly have a sex addiction it’s more about porn, but frankly having a high libido have led me to all of this and I think that if I could have sex that wouldn’t have happened, you understand?
I believe that there are three types of NoFap/PMO.
- Hard Mode: No porn, masturbation, or orgasm at all. Many people from NoFap refer to this when talking about NoFap.
- Standard Mode: No porn or masturbation. This is were people who are in healthy relationship but have addiction of porn and masturbation.
- Easy Mode: No porn. This is type were people believe in periodic masturbation.
In all cases Porn is strictly avoided as it is basis of addiction. It all depends on your life style.
I agree with you. The problem is not sex it’s porn
I can relate this addiction made me lose the love of my life… A good tip that worked for me was finding my triggers and blocking them off.
I used to sleep naked because it was comfortable then realized every morning I would break now I sleep with boxers on and this helped me; I still fail but an improvement, considering sleeping in full pajamas.
Find what works for you.
Hope you find a way to deal with PMO. As always just try to control urges, don’t act on them. Think why you should do this? Think about last time this happened. Just controlling urge for 10 seconds will make a difference.
I understood that loud and clear from your main post @luluane
I told you, thinking about what could happen or not won’t help you in getting rid of the addiction in any way.
You needed to vent. I am ok with that. I understand. You are welcome to do so in this community, there is no problem. But i hope you got my point.
@Livectin has made a good comment, So now you can choose what’s best for you. I wish you well. Cheers
I can heavily relate to your situation.
I also don’t think a porn addiction is the same as a sex addiction (although they might often be linked at some point) and I also think that loneliness in times when you have a natural urge to interact sexually or intimately with someone might lead to a porn addiction over time.
It’s the same with food. Food is healthy, but you can be addicted out of various reasons and eat too much until it’s not healthy anymore.
You have to find out how to deal best with this situation. Everybody is different. Maybe find out what it is exactly that porn does to your brain that you don’t like (you said it in quite the general way), and how you can stop it over time, and how you feel if you regulate your watching behaviours. Do you masturbate without porn? Because that’s also a way to release some tension and stress without engaging in porn. Sex and masturbation are not a problem imo, it’s porn and how it tells us how to think about the whole matter.
Many will disagree with me but it might work, and if it doesn’t then you know for sure that it is a problem and how to effectively engage it.
Cheers and all the best
P.S. although I have to agree with someone above, don’t fall into the trap where you blame someone or something else like your circumstances for you not getting out of the addiction cycle now. Sure, we all got here because of several different reasons, but now that we are here it’s waaaay healthier to work on the future instead of going in circles about the reason why and how and whatnot.
You have to als yourself what’s the situation you are in now, and how can you get out
@Thatguy531 Bein alone in my room is a trigger for me but when I move to draw or paint something it’s much better
@ernol well actually I needed to write this to see if other people are in the same situation so we can help each other
I understand @luluane
Well porn has ruined my memory and my ability to focus, and it’s a miracle that I graduated from college, I could see myself getting dumber and dumber from watching too much porn. And I agree with you, sex is somehow like food, it’s good and healthy when it’s moderated, but it can be addictive and harmful
I will definitely agree with you about P. Porn does damage us.
I live alone so I’m always lonely, a big trigger for me Is feeling worthless and lonely mostly happens in the morning.
I start to feel this way when I remember of my ex and you would think “She left you because of this addiction, use that as motivation to change” but in fact it makes me feel horrible and I relapse. Away around it for me is just go get up and do something doesn’t matter what just get out of bed and move.