PHILOSOPHY OF GETTING URGES (Experience from My Journey Till Now🐺)

JOINED COMMUNITY IN MIDDLE OF JULY

I want to cut short the whole story of last few weeks…

  • joined , great willpower , lot of aspiration
  • did highest streak of 9 days on just begining of journey.(Though it was very hard at that time)
  • Relapsed, after that i always get stuck on 2-3 days…continued till 21 august
  • after 21 august DETERMINED TO LEAVE THE SHIT FOREVER

NOW

6 days stronger :fire:BUT in 6 days i felt only two mild urges which was faded in a minute without doing anything.

and GUESS WHAT HAPPENED JUST A FEW MINUTES AGO

I opened facebook , just for checking what my friends are doing after 12th (btw i use facebook once in a while) and facebook showed a " THAT " kind of picture on sponsored section and i did not feel a single thing just rolled my eyes and i did not look at that…
After that i searched for one of my friend ( name starts with " rider " like rider karan sharma )
and once again a " THAT " image turns up on just typing rider still no urge at all…

SO
what is happeneing to me. WHY I am not feeling any spike of testosterone level inside me after SIX days and at same time (by gods grace) i am not feeling ANY urge…
I don’t know man, few weeks ago even two days without pmo is like HELL to me and at the end of 9 days in starting i was like " I AM KING KONG WHO WILL FIGHT ME"
And now six days were like shifting a feather but no benefit at all…
Please guys i want your advice @Sahas @JumpingBuddha @selfconqurer @neo_150

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Guys Honestly right now i searched se*y images (plz don’t scold me) Honestly first heart beat rate increases , then i closed my eyes said to myself “relax and control” opened my eyes scroll down for a minute and i did not feel a URGE . DID i learn to control my urge completely , seriously no kidding at all …Woaahhhh !!!

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Well your mind already convinced you to look at photos…
Don’t push it. Urges will come. Don’t look for them. When they come, embrace them and focus on yourself.

Stay sharp.

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It is very good you reached out, more people should do this. Nothing wrong with it, we all should be here for each other.

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By the way, what is 6 days to the countless amount of days you’ve been in this addiction? Not saying 6 days is useless. It’s just that you cannot expect complete change/healing after only 6 days. A lot of the best benefits come down the line with months of abstinence. Keep going man, you’re doing well.

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The same had happened with me.
It is normal.
Your mind has played its tricks and now you are kind of trapped.
:chains::chains::chains::chains::chains::chains::chains::chains::chains::chains:
During these journey you will find countless mind traps… some traps will look like ornament of gold and you wanna wear with them. Mind will convince you by giving rational reasons.

A prison is a prison… it doesnt matter if it is made of gold and has luxury in it

For Freedom… you must continue learn from your journey.

I can only be the witness because it has happened with me.

Your Journey is your Teacher

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@TusharPuri Sometimes we won’t feel shit when we look at erotics for the first time after a long while, we might have tiny urges that fade immediately especially in the 7 day boost situations. We think to ourselves like “Huh, is that all you got? Bitch, I’m strong af right now. This picture can’t make me relapse. I’m so fucking strong! Hell yeah! NoFap is working!”, and we keep scrolling on the same platform, like nothing ever happened. Or might sit there and admire that chick, be like “Damn, she’s hot. But I’m on NoFap rn, i shouldn’t have urges. So I shouldn’t care. I’mma move on.”

Big fucking mistake.

What you need to understand is, even looking at that image, just that peek, has reawakened the Pmo pathways in your brain. It has dropped on you a tiny dose of dopamine, and oncIt has affected your subconscious. Trust me buddy, that image will come to bite you in the back later, it will test you. Your willpower is slowly working in the background, even if you don’t know it. It is slowly draining, and at the end of the day, you won’t have willpower to do tasks, will feel lethargic, and you WILL have urges to check out pictures.

Exactly what I was talking about. Listen, when you find yourself in such conditions, DO NOT SCROLL DOWN! Novelty is another aspect your brain assosciate with PMO. You are continuously seeing new shit wherever you scroll down. If you just saw a sex picture and scroll down to avoid the urge, the pathways become further activated.

Man, fuck that shit! Is your problem that you are NOT feeling any urges, not feeling anything when you look at sluts on a screen? The truth is, YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO! They aren’t real! It is one of the goals of rewiring, to never be aroused by bitches on 2D screens ever again, to be horny for real, prospectable women you see in real life! But what happened to you is that your insane motivation just masked the urge, you were feeling like King Kong, and that is the only feeling that saved you. It hit you in one of your strong moments. But the challenge is to face an urge at your weakest and come through. When every single atom of your being is screaming at you to relapse, but you stand your ground, you look at it in the face and say, “Fuck You, NO.” But that takes strength you can only garner with experience and time, when you have longer streaks.

Do not feel bad about not getting horny for chicks on screens. Nothing happened to your testosterone. You were starting. You haven’t been tested. You may feel loss of libido, part of the process.

No you didn’t. Please don’t test yourself. Don’t go around spraying your willpower on everything like it is cheap air freshener.

Let me share my mindset. I abstain from all open social media platforms (facebook? tf is that?) because I know I’ll be walking on a wire every second I spend on there. The algorithm is designed to push sex towards you, whether you want it or not.
I use YouTube, with restricted on, WhatsApp, Telegram to chat with my close friends and get content. Chrome is a big cause of my relapse, i have blocked a number of sites(porn, definitely, plus some other sites i have fapped to, like urban dictionary, or 9gag, quora etc.) with blockers. I don’t miss a thing.

Whenever I hit an urge, or even momentary thinking of the shit i used to do before, like searching up sluts on Chrome images, or hit an involuntary trigger in YouTube or someplace, I IMMEDIATELY take action. My mindset is now “Man, that girl is hot. WELP! Time to do 50 pushups asshole!!! Move, Move, Move!” Please don’t try to fight your urges, please, especially in the early stages. This is a mistake I did, cost me 2 relapses, an 11 day streak, and lot of progress and shame. (In fact, I thought about google images as I write this, time to hit pushups)

Done. See what I’m talking about? I suggest you do the same, bro. I don’t want anyone doing my mistakes. You can still make it. Do not worry about your libido going or sex drive falling. Please. Do not try to get your dick erect just to see whether you still have it, if it would erect better, has it gotten bigger, or anything like that. All of these are just your junkie brain giving you excuses, trying to rationalise the act! I made all these mistakes too, this is why I am investing this much.

Stay alert, vigilant, all the time. You are facing yourself, and you are your absolute worst enemy. You are formidable. You DO NOT want it to end in a full blown war.

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@TusharPuri, it’s good to hear that you are doing some progress brother.

Like @neetwarrior, already explained a lot of things and psychology behind that actions and the trick that mind plays.

Brother, we were trapped in this addiction from a long long time, our brain was getting dopamine but the amount of it was reduced (as we used to fap frequently).
Now, when you have started this nofap journey, your dopamine levels are getting back to normal and your teatestrone levels are also going high slowly, sometimes your heart beat will get fast even if you look at some images sometimes it won’t (like you will feel nothing)

See, our mind became a slave for this action, it wants to get back to it’s own old ways, so sometimes it will play a lot of tricks (sometimes you will not get any urge at all but in the background you will still be thinking about that image).

And next you will try to test your willpower to look at image or peek a video or any activity of that kind. Our mind is like a spoiled kid, it wants to get back to it’s comfortable place, sometimes it will ask politely (giving small urges), sometimes it will be angry and rude (feeling low motivation happens in flatline), sometimes it plays mind games and so on.

Our work is to sit back and just observe what goes, not to react in any way, being more mindful of what is happening and get back to our tasks.

However strong you think you are, if you peak you are automatically weak to watch p* or other stuff remember that.
Anyways, don’t worry just keep up with your work and we will get out of this habit for sure, stay calm. All the best brother :+1::100:
Hope this helps :smile:

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Many companions have aptly answered your queries.

You should also ask these questions to yourself, your conscience! See what answer you get…:blush:

BTW, I have some questions for you, maybe they can help a bit?

  1. Why did your mind draw you to the same things, you want to get rid of, at first place?

  2. Optimism is good, it gives strength to move forward. But False self projection may induce overconfidence and is a pitfall in itself. Are you seeing it?

Having asked that I would quote certain phrases, from what I am reading now-

“There is a small organ in a man, if one feeds it - it is hungry, if one starves it - it is satiated.”

As the saying goes:

”The less you feed it, the less you need it.”

So never put your guards down, it may haunt you when you are not concious, maybe in your dreams!!

I believe that you are not free until you crave for these momentary pleasure even in your subconscious sleeping state.

More power to you.

Keep exploring, keep learning, keep building better…

Peace!

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so I just want to add that you should ask yourself, if facebook was really necessary. you are saying that you “just wanted to check”, which does not sound very convincing that you had anything to do on this platform. it sounds more like you were not fully present, just doing some random action to get dopamine. I do not want to tell that you should be like a monk or whatever. but maybe just try to take a break. lay down on your bed for half an hour. feel your brain. if this is a spot which might trigger the bad habit, just go out for a walk and observe your brain. your brain wants dopamine. that’s natural. but if you give it some time it will address on what you have to do next that will give you dopamine in reward. if you are outside or some other safe space, chances are higher that it will address something that is taking place in the real world, connecting yourself to your true self. if you are hanging out at home like a lazy towel it will most likely suggest the easy way: “just do something random”, which is of course closer to pmo.

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THANKS FOR ALL REPLIES @Sahas @neetwarrior @HeretoRewire @edistoretto @selfconqurer @JumpingBuddha @Sacred

  1. I read this 4-5 days ago in GYE chizuk mail and i did the same experiment whenever circumstances like that forms, in these 4-5 days I daily go outside to do some work (chini lana, washing powder lana…etc) from that store which is very far, on road while driving i always thought the same for every beautiful girl. on every " THAT :point_up:t2:" circumstance always do the same… AND when i opened chrome at my laptop (which is all locked for porn sites and that kind of phrases) I , without knowing , thought the same !!!
  1. I open facebook like once or twice in a month and it is not like that what u are saying, honestly i have many friends with whom i can only connect through facebook
  1. This can be a possibilty that my mind tricks myself but i really was not like challenging myself that “woah no urges then u can also bear those sexy images Right !!!” But honestly saying , first second my heart beat increases , next second I take a deep breath and did the same technique . I was not staring at their bodies… just scrolling down thinking same about their problems of life.

BUT NOW I took your advice i will never take such WILD RISK again. THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS

  1. Really the image once started flashing in my mind ,when i was laying on bed to sleep, for a minute then i kind a meditate in sitting position and then those flashes goes away…

REPLY TO @JumpingBuddha

ooo yes I was distracted to them, although i should not do JUST A PEEK to that, yeah man i was distracted sorry, but i really rolled back my eyes in a second and did that technique then nothing happens…

NO i am not , Really , i was just wondering can i do that technique thing to " THAT " photos also and it turns out yess but I later have to pay the price . I WILL NEVER DO SUCH MISTAKE AGAIN.

YEAH may be thats WHY some flashes hit me when i slept

WELL thanks to all advices you all are my GURUS THANK YOU VERY MUCH

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CONCLUSION ACCORDING TO ME…

Don’t even peek to such things, not even for a second just ignore but somehow if it got your attention

do this technique

may be this is what i learned form these experiments i did and then from your views on this…

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You can effectively learn ignoring it by changing the environment. Go outside, look at a tree, look in the sky, feel the season, feel the world existing and realise how amazing it actually is. By that you’re teaching your body and mind that there is always a better alternative. :v:

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actually on 20 august whole day i watch no fap motivation videos images documentary everything youtube has on nofap.

then put password on youtube and chrome on phone i take keys of store room from mom opened the room , closed my eyes took a register from stack of my used notebooks of maths practice , write down that huge password on a back (or front) page of that notebook (as i was continuously murmuring it)
then i put back the register in between stack locked the door , give my mom the keys , and said whatever happens dont give me the keys even i am dying till next year … thats why i kinda stabbed a knife in roots of urges as i clearly knows what ever happens i will not get to fap…

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yeah :slight_smile:

Like that you can’t control it for long. You are suppressing it. Not transmutating it.

Sorry, I can’t praise you much for that.

Transmuting is the key.

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I see it the same. You cannot change it the fast way. if you take a fish out of its water and put it on land, it won’t survive. only by transforming, whilst it does experience land as neither a harmful NOR STRESSFUL environment, it will find a strategy to survive.

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Dude, don’t take a risk scrolling. Just remove yourself from that environment. Just drop the phone and do something else. Go workout, get out of the house. The physical act of scrolling is addicting af. Novelty is a big weapon of the enemy that is PMO. You need to understand this. Your rational mind makes sense, may be strong, but the animal part of your brain is still prevalent. Please understand it and don’t relapse. I used to make this mistake too, this is why Im focussing on it now. Scrolling is addicting, and our brains assosciate with sexual pleasure as much as it does with porn images. This maybe on varying degrees for different people, then again why take a risk?

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@modernmedico @HeretoRewire correct but i kinda choose easyway rather than hardway , i am suppressing it till i overcome my " ADDICTION " at same time i am changing my perspective of women in my mind so it is kind of transmutation. suppose

BOY-1

goes to market , “Woah she is very beautiful girl aahhh , Hey but i am nofap noo don’t think about it , don’t think , don’t think , shit URGE , okay ignore lets do what i was doing …” . Deeply in boy’s mind he is still thinking wrong about that girl , even he didn’t realise that…that will strike his brain when he was most vulnerable to urge thats why it is hard way

BOY-2

goes to market, 1. just ignored the girl in first place OR 2. " she is beautiful, well she maybe suffering from a lot of problems still it is bad to see how some very few girls don’t dress well in public , i don’t no why , maybe to flaunt , she should admire her god gifted beautiful body and don’t wear revealing clothes in public, May god give her peace, enlightenment, and solution to all her problems " Boy goes to home & sleeps peacfully. No urge at all

to be like boy-2 right now i am suppressing my URGES by doing such measures and at same time i am gaining knowledge from all you amazing guys of this community because when time comes and i get hands on my phone (chrome youtube) then I will have enough willpower and WISDOM to don’t misuse it.

BOOOOM !!! :boom:

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thats why when i was scrolling down first second i was like boy-1 i take a deep breath and saw images with a sad mood that "what has to be their situation that they are doing this " thats why honestly i dont feel a little urge at all.
BUT it is true that boy-1 is still inside me thats why i get a flashback of images when i was sleeping , i then meditate and those flashback goes away…

NOW tell me is it wrong to become like boy-2 and good to become like a boy-1 who has a great willpower…???

I AM ASKING TO ALL MY GURUS AND ONE WHO ARE OPPOSING ME ???

@JumpingBuddha @Sahas @selfconqurer

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