One confused Male needs active persons

This addiction is getting to me. As a man i crave sexual intimacy but as a Christian i am upholding Gods law. To be honest i don’t know what to think about myself. I get rock hard erections easily and having high sex drive im almost always horny every day in some time or another. I feel like a robot a being of just sexual reference. I know l have a life, a job but i think the source of my struggle is friends. In the real world i have been struggling as im a shy person especially when it comes to girls. I always do hope that i do get a girlfriend despite all my problems. I know having a gf won’t solve everything but i need an in real life person that can support me. Someone that i can be determined and motivated to control my sexuality. My mind is confused as this whole thing is a beauty and a curse. At the end of the day i really want to have sex to the point that I’m so desperate. I don’t know anything anymore and i think I’m one sad guy. CURIOSITY is a bitch but no matter what my mind says i will sacrifice my desires if i am suppose to be single forever = virgin forever in the name of my God.

Anyways i need more active people to dm me for us to help each other.
I prefer men only however girls are willing to dm once and awhile for pointers, tips and what not. In terms of the other gender i will limit my chat time with you or what not cos of temptation and all.

Feel free to comment and i be trying to keep going on my journey

12 Likes

For beginners i always suggest you to practice meditation daily. You should listen to your breath pattern and you can do it anywhere but make sure you do it 15 minutes. Make it a habit. We have tried several methods and this one will work for everyone (this one really helps)

Some additional tips
Dont watch girls
Dont watch social media, tv entertainment for atleast 90 days
Don’t overeat food. (Leave some space in your stomach always)
Sleep and wake on regular time. Keep your phone outside bedroom.

If you pass 90 days then you will have more control over your mind.

8 Likes

Ok sure thing will try thanks

That’s easy im a gamer and don’t get out a lot in terms of the normal person

That should also be easy. All social media i use just for myself like YouTube/ twitch streams and self promoting and chatting to my friends on Twitter and discord. Barely browse on socials

This will be a challenge as a person who is 23 years old but had double the metabolism to the point i need to eat or l get skinny. So idk but i might try it and see

Unfortunately i got a medical condition and yes l do sleep and all but no matter what l feel tired waking up and energy drained. Fatigue is a bitch but like everything gotta pace myself

Anyways you gave me some things to think about.
Thank you and stay AWESOME

6 Likes

My dear friend, I can understand your situation and feeling. After all we are all social creatures,and want love, attention and caring.

My advice to you

  1. Get a exercise regime for you. Start of your day by running for at least 30 minutes and do yoga

  2. Get out of your comfort zone,and learn something new

  3. Last , don’t miss an opportunity to talk to girls. Don’t settle down something miracle will happen someday,and girl of your dream will come to you. Who knows the girl you are talking is your future wife

I wish you all the best,my friend… you are one of my closest friend I have made here

Any other suggestions you need,DM me

9 Likes

These are all good advices. I’d like to add a bit, best form of exercise is some kind of weight training, it boosts your confidence and you start looking better very soon.
Meditation goes a long way with no fap and also for improving quality of life in general.
Have some kind of connection with god, pray for him to give you strength to hold on no matter what happens.
And yeah you won’t get a girl by some miracle unless you actually go out, talk to them and ask them out. And to gain confidence for that as I said working out keeps your body in shape, meditation keeps your mind in shape and there you go. Also don’t be afraid of rejections, if one girl doesn’t find you attractive some other will, and try not to be a creep :sweat_smile:.

9 Likes

Thanks for the advice @Roads_to_purity and @The_integrous_one. As i said to other people i don’t really do running or weights at all now. I have a medical condition which i have to live with. I just have adapt my lifestyle to what i can or can’t do. Either way thanks for trying to help. Apart from that i well try all of these good advices.

3 Likes

If not that, taking walks also helps, try being mindful during your walk, notice each and everything you come across, it’s a different kind of experience, and you can also burn good amount of calories with walking

5 Likes

Cool thank you there :blush:

3 Likes

Just like to say this to all who struggle that texting a partner for support is good and all but if you both get a platform to voice call each other is so much better. I recently done this and wish l done this sooner.
Getting a person you trust and share your problems makes you feel way better when talking out loud and i suggest you people do it.
This only truly works if voice call everything is
Non judgemental - which is a biggy. In society we humans don’t really say sexual stuff well that l find so if you have a partner you should both know that you should not fear or be embarrassed to say ANYTHING sexual or not as long as it helps out and that both of you understand and respect whatever they say.
Is confidential to not tell anyone about your conversation

3 Likes

Hi.
I prefer to take another route in no pmo journey: awareness of real root causes. That is the solving point.

I’ve been working on knowing myself for the last 15 years, so i may have some battle-tested advices for you as well.

Furthermore, i have also dealt with very low energy levels and being alone.

I agree with you: voice/live write chatting sometimes is better. So, if you would like, reply to me and we’ll arrange a meeting.

5 Likes

Yeah sure and that goes with everybody here as i be happy to help others and for others to help me. I sent you a dm @fenila and whatever it is

we can chat and sort something out

1 Like

Small but effective tip

While dealing with URGE , just click on URGE! Section in Home tab , listen to that music and don’t act upon urge, don’t touch your meat
Just close your eyes , listen

IT may be difficult initially to completely switch your focus on sound but in long run it is boon for high instant urges ( at least works for me)

I hope :crossed_fingers: you win :fire:

4 Likes

it’s been 11 days and if normal meditation doesn’t works for you then try to do Silva’s technique and damn i felt like my brain was floating when i did that, i was so relaxed :smile:

3 Likes

Thanks @Sanatanhindu and @Fazlury for the advice. Will definitely take that under consideration

2 Likes

Pray every morning asking Jesus the chastity.

I’m doing it and going to Eucharist frequently. Since I am doing it, I’m 4 months free of this addiction. It’s also necessary to block all your devices against porn: cellphone, pc, router.

4 Likes

I suggest you to meditate daily at least 10 minutes, focusing on your breath and relaxing. Get away from social media, like Instagram, Facebook, Twitter… Read books, I suggest you to read “Psycho Cybernetics” (you can get a pdf on google), or at least to understand it because it helps you to get confident. And talking about confidence, try to workout 4 plus days a week to get confident with your own body, at home or gym whatever you want but no excuses, I train with a bag full of books and calisthenics. And journaling, get a diary and write about your day, and what you’re grateful about.

You can do it bro.

4 Likes

Thanks for all the advice will definitely take all that into my nofap journey but like l said to other people work out is just not my thing. I am healthy and all but you know how life likes to throw some curve balls and the medical condition sucks but i can’t let that get to me but l also need to know my limits and i don’t think work out is what is best for me.
In my opinion working out is only just an option for humans. As long as one is healthy mind, body and soul then life is good.
The one thing i will say is working out provides discipline, motivation, determination and provides a great mindset to overcome this addiction for sure

Anyways thanks once again

2 Likes

I do pray for strength every single day that i hope my high sexual desires go not lust but to finding a lovely Christian wife and knowing that God made desires to bring passion of both man and woman together like no other. Sex drives are super strong unlike anything and one could say it’s proof that there is a God out there. So even if sex drive can be annoying especially for singles and virgins they are a reminder of Gods power and love and all. So next time you have an urge i think of not just being desperate for intimacy but a way to remind myself that God is real and for us to get closer to him. Ok i gone so much off topic but yeah

1 Like

Update: I be taking a break from this app with other things going on here and there. So to all those people that message me and stuff we can still chat just dm either whatsapp or discord and we can chat there

4 Likes

You won’t like this advise, but stop gaming, stop screen time altogether for entertainment. Get out more, join a gym, stop masterbation for 8 days. Feel the difference and motivate yourself. You need to have a strong reason for quitting, a reason stronger than the urge. Games flood our system with the same dopamine. The objective is to get our brains back to regular dopamine sensitivity, which in my case has become extremely insensitive to dopamine due to last 20 years of fapping, 27 years of strategy gaming (starting from Dune 2) and 11 years of smoking more than 15 sticks a day on average. My advantage is I am married and 2 little kids to give me a strong reason for change. I can’t set the example for them as I am now. What’s your motivation? Think about it.

8 Likes