After the relapse i had a few minutes ago i decided that i should just start keeping track of what i do on here. This community is super helpful and i think just lettung ppl know about my day might make me feel better.
Starting a diary is an good idea. It will keep you motivated throughout your journey…
Very good decision! Community is always a better choice!
Thursday, August 5th, 2021
Relapsed today. Ive been relapsing daily for a good 14 days now and it doesnt feel good. I exercise daily but i havent meditated in weeks. After quitting my job due to overwhelming stress I dont go outside as much. Only when im going to the gym. I don’t let the relapse stop me from being a good boyfriend, but when i relapse i always fear that someone better without this issue might come in and take her away from me. Rly just want to be my best self for her. If i keep relapsing i wont have the courage to see her again and thats bad. Same with family. I dont leave my room anymore. They feel so disconnected to me. I made my aunt sad when my anxiety boiled up sitting next to her during therapy and that sucked. Yeah I just wanna be a better person thats what I wanna achieve from pmo. Pmo i think will give me the energy i need to become the person i want to be. It cant make anyone a better person thats up to us. This is what i learned after a year of practicing and falling back after a huge streak. Im still a good person, i just have an addiction thats screwing me up. This is getting really messy I’ll try to keep it more organized tomorrow. Just wanted to let all of this out.
What can I say - don’t beat up yourself. It isn’t helpful. You’ll start to believe you can do nothing about it. And this isn’t truth! You’re in a harmful circle now - you don’t go out because you’re addicted and feel uncomfortable, but when you stay at home, you become prone to relapse. So, break that circle! Take long walks, try to notice details around you, think, how could you surprise your girl. Try to think more about others not yourself and your problem, good luck
Thanks for all the advice. Im not really in the safest place so i dont know if my aunt would be cool with me walking around but I’ll get out more definitely and do the other things mentioned
Getting on to report another relapse. Was being too lazy and left my mind to run wild and free. Gave into temptation and fell even farther back. I have not been able to go even a day without breaking my sobriety. I really feel bad because I know its bad and it feels like I’m shitting on all of you. Right now I have no fight in me. Just hoping I can last. Gonna get a body weight leg workout in today since I didn’t go to the gym.
Do you believe in yourself?
As much as i dont wanna say it i don’t believe in myself. That’s because of comparing myself to other ppl fighting this addiction and just living life in general. Im very pessimistic
Compare yourself to who you were yesterday not to who someone is today. It’s really good advise. I didn’t think that. But I encourage you to use it. Make a little improvement everyday. Step by step. Brick by brick to make it stick. It seems like no progress, but if you do at least 1% better everyday , at the end of the year you’ll be at the place 365% better. Think about longer perspective. You can do it on your own pace. Don’t give up.
It seems like im the same persom i was yesterday today though. Relapsed again smh its been daily i dont know what to do man
If you notice the hour you’re relapsing at, try to overcome it. And relapse an hour later. Try to get deliberate about this. An hour, emotion, physical state. Try to create a schedule for your addiction. Maybe it will help to put the “cage” on it and you can start to control it little by little. Don’t you think it’s possible for you? You have to find the tiniest thing you could do. But really COULD and make it a starting point.
Finally one day in. Just came back from the gym i feel good. Longest streak in August so far
“If you can quit for a day, you can quit for a lifetime .”
Benjamin Alire Sáenz
3 days into nofap. My streak has been okay. Today was the wost so far. Long peeking and edging. I also edged a little yesterday. Youtube is the big problem. Youtube leads to all other things. I get into a habit of searching up the names of the channels i jerk to to see if they uploaded new content. This is a habit I have to break. A loop to get out of. I can counter it by leaving youtube when I get the urge to search. I’m getting an urge as i type this. God this is difficult lol we will get through this though. I have to order school stuff. Uniforms and all that. I’ll do it sometime tomorrow.
5 days free from addiction and i feel good. Finished the easypeasy book and applied the knowledge and this already feels easier. I shouldn’t have put it off for so long. Anyways I had a lot of urges today (some were really hard to deal with) but I was able to push through without looking at any 18+ content. My gf seems happier to talk with me now that things arent all sexual. I seem happier as well. Although tense from the urges I still am a lot better than I was 5 days ago. Happy to have made it this far from addiction thank you all for the motivation. Hoping tomorrow is another step away from addiction.
YES! You can do it! YES! Read it as many times as you need! YES! Find the beauty and adventure of the life apart from sexual content! You’re on a highway! Feel the momentum! High five
Hell yeah! Keep it up! I am almost at 1 month now without PMO and it is all thanks to the EasyPeasy book. Make sure that you get a control over your thoughts and leave this stupid addiction behind!
Yessir will do! Best of luck to you lets escape this addiction
8 days in im good but things got a little rocky having fun with my girl. Pushed through though. Sadly I had to cancel my gym membership bc i cant afford it anymore. Need to find a new job. I may get into freelance work if i can. If anyone knows how a teen can get into freelance work that would plz give me some tips. I also wanna get into the burn more calories than you eat thing with body weight. Today i havent rly ate much but the workout i did wasnt enough to burn all of what i took in. Anyways yeah a bit longer than other days but im glad im still in it