Ona's Progress Journal [17 M]

Last night i lashed out at my family for dumb stuff and did dumb things. Relapsed today still being mad. Feelong a lot of things rn. Regret, guilt, idk i have a victim mindset. I have a lot of things i need to fix aside from nofap. I’m just not a good person i havent grown up yet. This isn’t post nut clarity but just me being honest with myself. I need to do better and grow up.

You know what I think? When do we notice, that we are “not good people”, “loosers” or other quite unpleasant traits? When we start to work on ourselves! When we start fixing at least one thing. And seeing all the work, we’ll have to do to make some changes is devastating! It is! BUT! You’re going the right direction! Because you started to really SEE yourself. Please, don’t stop! Keep going. You can change those things you didn’t like. And we are here for support. Believe in yourself! High five!


Thanks for the motivation! Im not in the highest spirits right now but I’ll definitely change up the way i do things. Just need to let go first

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Relapswd yet again. Pretty sure all my progress is gone. Took time to skim through all of the shit i looked at after and thought about how I felt. Then i asked myself was any of this worth it and the answer was no. Im sorry about this fr. Fell for the monster’s trap but i think i have some clarity now and I’m ready to escape again.


After nearly two days i relapsed again peeking and feeding a huge urge. I was already edging so im kind of glad i just relapsed then and there instead of holding it in and having a more disappointing one later. A relapse is a relapse though regardless. I’m going to try to get a better grasp of myself in those strong urge situations. I tend to scavenge when i get urges, so what i want to do is findna way to stop this. I’m also very obsessive with people like my gf. I want to love her though so i will do everything in my power to get to know her as best as I can and create a bond with her. I think i can at least start on all this even after a relapse. Anyways im one hour free of pmo I’ll keep it going I’m never going back

Might be it won’t sound good, but still, try to ask yourself - do I really want to quit? It might be, that deep down (be open to yourself) you just don’t want to quit. Try to find out. And if the answer is negative, try to find the essential reason (in your personal favour) WHY you have to stop. If there is no “why”, there won’t be “how” as well. And you’ll be stuck here for a long time. Praying for you. Good luck!


Im definitelt gonna think on this and journal my discoveries down somewhere so i can remember them for future reference

Today I’m stressing a lot with going back to school next week. It makes me uncomfortable but for a young man that’s become miserable over quarantine is that really a bad thing? Although I’m nervous I believe this school year will be a turning point for me. Because I now see the discomfort as an opportunity for growth. I’m just worried about how hard the urges will hit before and after school. I need to also walk up to this warehouse and see if i can get a job. I’ve been procrastinating for the last few days. All of which havent been great for me. This is messy im really just rambling but overall this is just a little insight on one of many issues i have right now that i need to fix. Gotta stop being comfortable. I have to stop feeling entitled to comfort. Im gonna be a man next year i cant just sit down and be babied. I can talk all i want but really nothing will change until i do something. Its like im just waiting for the me in the future to do something instead of getting off my ass and putting in work. Guys ik this is just a nofap/sr forum, but i really need support in all areas of my life. Because after really thinking about it, i really am just shitty. I have hobbies yes but thats really it. There is so much i need to fix that a lot of you didnt even have to fix because you at least have morals and self respect n all that. I am at rock bottom. Even on decent nofap streaks im still low because i havent even tried to discover the rest of these issues until now. Nofap definitly wont solve all of these. Sorry about how random and long this got lol. Also i havent relapsed today this is just self reflection


It’s a great reflection! I encourage you to move to this direction. It’s going to be hard in the beginning, but hard things grow muscles, huh? :wink:
So feel free to write as much as you want, and on different topics. Because the life isn’t only this addiction we are trying to beat. It’s much more, and in fact, it can be cause of this stuff, not the opposite. So - share anything you want we will try to support you as much as we will be able or capable of!


Thank you so much fr i really appreciate it

Nearly 40 minutes ago I relapsed. Gave into my thoughts. Really felt disgusted. I don’t believe I’m ready to stop fapping. My mind isn’t ready to let it go. I’ve grown comfortable with fapping its burned into my mind. The comfort and need for a fap is preventing me from kicking this bad habit. How can a take a positive approach towards this comfort and need issue? Comfort and feeling that i need things that i dont are ruining me.

Honestly I don’t blame you for not controlling your urges. There will be times when we are vulnerable to addiction no matter how hard we fight. What I have learnt from my past failures is that we cannot fully depend on willpower to succeed in No fap. I have taken some steps to succeed in No fap a few days ago. I hope it may work for you.

I used Stay Focused to permanently block apps while I used Your Slice which works in such a manner that you can use a particular app on specific mentioned timing.
I deleted social media like Instagram, Twitter , Facebook etc. Now the only source of social media I cant delete is You Tube.

I used Stay Focused to block you tube.
The good thing about Your Slice app is that it can block itself. So here it as follows

  1. Used Stay Focused to Block You Tube
  2. Used Your Slice to block Stay Focused and Your Slice ( I did this to so that I can prevent myself from unblocking You Tube when my urge is bad.)

Now Your Slice will ask you to specify the time interval to use a particular app. I typed the following
Starts: 5 am
Ends : 5 am
By doing this you are blocking Your Slice permanently. I know its bit complicated but its worth the try. I was saved from many strong urges those times. The only way you can escape from this permanent block is to delete these app.

I joined one challenge in the forum, where my daily goal is not to delete those apps.

My another source of relapse was laptop. I kept it in the drawing room and promised myself no to change its position.

This is for you @anon9498230 know its super long. But i believe this strategy will help you.

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Really good advice man thank you for all of it

A few minutes ago i relapsed while mindlessly scrolling through instagram. Everything was mindless it was trippy but it happened and now i am back again at the start. I need to convince myself that i am done with this somehow. I may need to go reread the easypeasy book.

Today I’ve relapsed yet again. Two times I’ve given the monster what it wants I hope its satisfied. Well with that, looking back at this month I’m happy to at least say that its been better than July. I started off rocky relapsing daily, then went a full week relapse free. This week I’ve relapsed for most of it, but had some good days. That is improvement. So yes I relapsed, yes I had a bad week. But looking at the overall month I have improved. I am farther from this addiction than I was before. School starts next week though and I fear that the stress will lead to relapses back to back. At the same time though maybe being out the house will help my streaks. We will see. Another escape attempt begins now.

Might be it’s not my business, but what things stress you out ar school?

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Im not great with ppl so i tense up a lot when im there

Seems you are an introvert like me. My college will also start next week. Don’t worry about that much mahn. Just focus on yourself and do the things you like the most in the classroom. Also don’t worry about being judged. Everyone is special in their own way


Mmm…Do you experience jeer or something at school?
I have a suspicion that you’re stuck in a circle: you aren’t good with people, so you use all that xxx content to escape and calm down yourself, and you don’t feel comfortable with people because you use that xxx content. Yeah, I know, what have changed with my theory? Nothing. But maybe you’ll find the way to get out from that circle eventually. By the way, do you find any subject at school interesting?


Well I have weight training thats fun. Cyber security seems interesting too

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