The thing with YouTube is that you can’t stop yourself once you start watching . So it’s better to stay away from that…
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Yes, that is a problem but it can be executed by self discipline. Like set a timer for 15 mins. But it requires a lot of patience and practice
Another things is you can like to study 8 hours to get 1 hour of Yt and I think it is enough for once and then don’t open it Lol
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Procrastination is the theme in these addictions, eg; smoking, yt, phone… etcetc
But our biggest sin, Procrastination can be our greatest virtue, if we procrastinate over our vices.
“I’ll watch YouTube later”
hey there , sad to hear about how you are struggling the realization must have been devasting…
at the same time i am also gald that you came here and shared this and that you became aware of your troubles as the others have said before : you are not alone in this fight!
also: maybe this might help in any process of change there is a loss of prodcutivity and an increase in stress!!! that is due to the increased empahsiz/focus on what has to change and the iterative process of searching for “better” methods etc.
so it is normalto feel worse before thigns get better!!
additionally to that. you should check out the topic of dopamine deto/fasting to understand abit more about what happened to you on these days and why it was hard for you! it is not only that you are addicted but also that you were trying to figth a war on to many fronts in a really “harsh” way that drains alot of energy!
also if you ahve not yet give “the easy peasy way” a try 
it really helped me
here some more advice if you care for it:
regarding this:
i see and udnerstand your pain i have had similar thoughts to. sadly i can not comprehend ypur entire situation but i can tell you this:
maybe you ahve not had a choice up until now.
- but now that you are aware of the pain of your existence you do have a choice.
- you can keep things as they are and suffer for the rest of your life…
- or you can decide to change things about yourself and your circumstances that cause you pain.
to me it sounds like you are on a good path towards getting and feeling better! jsut keep in mind that all these difficulties will pass with time and effort.
and on another note. do not be harsh to yourself… there is literally
NO BENEFIT for beeing harsh/critival to oneself!
→ look at it ftom this perspective:
we usually a harsh to our selfs as a reaction towards shame. we perceive our weakness and subconsciously or consciously compare ourselves to the sandards of our imediate society… if we think we can not satfy these standards we feel shame…
the purpose of shame is to
a) hide in order to be not seen by others as long as we have this weakness
b) see a weakness and try to compensate it if possible
c) if it is not possible to compenaste this weakness to comunicate it in anauthentic way so socitey accepts you…
these are basicaly the “state fo the art opinions why shame propably evolved and how it helps us”
so here is the take away “selfabuse” is an internalized thought/behaviour pattern that you ahv einorder to prevent beeing shamed by others since feeling ashamed is very uncofortbale… at some point in your life/childhood you might have learned that if i “critizes my own weakness etc… my parents/freinds will not do that…” that is perfectly reasonable since it propably saved your face to some degree the others might have given yu the feedback of " wel you know where you ahve to work on yourself or waht mistake you d … so go ahead and fix that or you are on the path of fixing it" that is true but on the same side there is a danger that your selfabuse stops you from growing.
meaning that isnce you are not shamed from others as long as you shame/abuse yourself every thing will work out… however that has a giant toll on your selfworth, will power and quality of life… since self abuse stops you from growing.
here is my proposition. the next time you feel like you are worthless and shloud not have been born thinkg about things that you can change from now on.
yes there are misatakes you made there are experiences you have missed. that sucks and it is okay to be sad about it but the have passed and you can still make similar experiances in your life “now you know that oyu vales this and can actively search for that” “now you know what this mistake led to and can try a diffrent aproach to be succesfull”
you are already in pain… there is no reason to increase your pain… instead try to heal your wound in the future and learn.
or lives are gifts even if you feel like you are living a wasted live " or are dragging people down by exisitng" that might be the case a you perceive it now. Meaning you can still change your perception and/or act diffrently in the future.
keep your head high and look a round you are on a good path! and you are not alone!
you can do this. you can enjoy your life and even the paiinfull experiencess as a part of your growth afterall what ever happens when we are dead -we will find out soon enoguh- life is made out of endless opprotunites we jsut need keep uour eyes open and enjoy the ride.!
ty for reading i hope this helps bests!
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I want somebody to hug me and ask how am I today 
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I’ll ask about your day but a hug?Thats premium package.
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Hahaha 
(20 char)
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Oh there’s a premium package. How much does it cost?
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It’s a running joke from Lowe’s. I’d tell the boss, I’ll do it be it’ll be extra or that not in the basic package.
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That’s understandable
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Hi. I don’t want to hold this depression anymore. Just saying.
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I’m wishing you the best, and hope you break free of depression
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I’m leaving rewire companion. Maybe life as well. Wish you your best. Bye.
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Kinda dark there. What’s going on?
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I can explain.
There are problems to solve and recently they started to appear frequently. Everyday there’s a new problem. I don’t want to solve any of them. To be more correct I don’t have energy and will to. Actually I’m not solving any of my problems for a lot of years already. And day by day it’s harder to live, when just 3 years ago I thought that life will be a good thing to live when I’ll be 21.
My every thought is so dark now, that now I dream to end the life as soon as possible. I don’t want to live neither like this nor better. I don’t know if anybody could understand me. I don’t believe there will be anything that will make me think differently.
This Sunday was supposed to be relaxing but it was worse than other days are.
People I know - they learn something, go outside, work somewhere, try to show strength and intelligence, compete, defend their girlfriends and show their existence is important. I don’t want to do that and be that. I’m writing this because I have nothing to do and because I was too afraid to leave.
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Breath one problem at a time. Sounds like you need to work on yourself a bit 1st. Boundaries are one of those things. We weren’t designed for 24/7 interaction with no downtime. Start there and move forward movement is life. Any movement for that matter.
I love you but I can’t learn it for you brother.
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Has anybody ever experienced not enjoying a thing for a very long time 
.
Even something people usually enjoy very much 
.
When you don’t want to wake up anymore 
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Yes, most certainly.
I spent many years, about 15 years, doing exactly the same thing, in the hope: it pays off, Or out of loyalty among other things.
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Do you think it pays off?
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