This is a strong mental wound. God help me 
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In patience, at least 
I’m really sad you are hurting right now, if there was button I could press that would change it for the better, I’d be pressing it.
Please know you’re at least in a good community, not perfect, but people here do care.
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Gym helped me with the mood
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Today even heavy gym training didn’t help me.
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Feeling too bad in past weeks. One more Christmas alone and hopeless.
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Great. I live in a country where even the suicide hotline doesn’t work.
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Well,what’s grinding your gears then?
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What that even means?
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Annoying you and or got you down?
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I feel empty. No positive emotion or good feeling. I feel dead . Everything around is tasteless and dark. I don’t know how I’ll handle the same tomorrow.
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Give yourself time,during the process making a purpose for l tasks help. Goals or dreames are one means
I’m giving myself the very last chance. I won’t give me more. I won’t handle any new relapse. If I relapse or reach 100 days but feel the same, my game is over.
It’s 7 days for today.
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Day 11 of rewiring.
I thought I’ll feel just a little better. But feeling are the same. Food is still tasteless, music is still boring, people don’t notice me as well, problems don’t feel easier to solve, classes are as hard. No noticeable changes.
Does my brain even rewire? I doubt I’ll feel changes at day 90.
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Nothing changes by itself. Nofap is not about counting days and noticing difference.
It’s about developing yourself, doing good things for you body and soul. There are no fireworks one day. Slow progress, hard work - it pays off.
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You are totally wrong.
Nofap means nofap. No - fap.
I do nofap.
Self development is self development, it’s not called nofap.
You can’t also claim that nothing changes itself. I breath and it happens itself. My feelings happen themselves. I tried not to breathe, not to eat, not to fall in love and so on. Things happen themselves most of the time.
Besides the things that happen themselves I do gym. I eat healthy. I don’t smoke anymore. I don’t play games anymore. I read a book.
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I was kindly trying to jump. The policemen forced me to leave. People who want to die have the right to do it.
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@Omen99 You are valuable and your life matters. If you mean nothing to others, then make yourself mean something to others. I pray you don’t jump and that you find Jesus. You were created in the image of God and Jesus cared enough about you to die on the cross for you. Step 1: look for a church, make a confession that you need help. Also step 1: get counseling. Step 2: dedicate your life to helping others and adopting an altruistic attitude. This will give you meaning and a reason to live.
If you feel that nobody else cares about you, then know that I do. I want you to live and I want you to be happy. Message me brother and let me help you find a reason to live 
Am I a rewire companion member after these many relapses and not serious attitude?
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Of course you are.
Every single member that does their best and keeps trying no matter how many times they fail is a member of this community.
After all this community is about people trying to heal themselves from porn addiction not for people who are already healed and done with it.
Yes we all aim to be healthy and never pmo again, but it’s a marathon not a sprint. Keep going brother
Fall 7 times, stand up 8
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Yes. I’m a member. But a weak member like in other aspects of life.