Nofap is all I have

Beforehand I would like to apologize. This won’t be exactly an “inspiring” post, so if you were looking for one of those you will find plenty of them elsewhere in the forum.

The title basically sums it up. After a long phase of constant relapses I decided to try again and am currently at 58 days. I will soon surpase my previous streak of 72 days and 90 days + seems really doable from where I am now. So what is the problem?
Well I am not exactly experiencing the “superpowers” people tend to go on about. Sure I am mildly more confident, But that still makes me pretty insecure. Sometimes I feel more awake but usually I am still tired. I think I know why this is the case. Nofap is all I do. I didn’t make groundbreaking changes in my life, like taking on activities, socialising (more) etc. I guess this is my social anxiety which is holding me back, I probably thought the benefits I would gain from nofap would be strong enough to “overpower” the anxiety but this sadly doesn’t seem to be the case.
For a lot of people not fapping seems to be the most challenging thing that consumes all their willpower but for me the other stuff, the stuff you do to build a sucessful life is the most challenging and intimitading thing. So what I am left with is looking at my nofap number going up everyday which does make me proud in a way, I just wish there were more to it.

Again: Sry for the “downer” post. I guess I just wonder if some people on here are struggling with the same issue.

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I got the same feeling before man. What you have to do is decide to go crazy one day. Change your life. Change your daily routine. When I wanted to do this, I moved all the furniture in my bedroom to make it look new. Then, you can start from blank again, try things you never did before and the such. In one sentence, YOU HAVE TO GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE. By any means. That’s what will make you progress.

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Thanks for sharing your experience brother, and congratulations on making it to 58 days once more!

Too many people are caught up in how many days they’ve abstained from pornography and masturbation. Yes, that is an amazing accomplishment after years of addiction and not to be overlooked. But this journey is about far more than abstinence. True recovery involves healing and improving our lives.

There are reasons why we kept going back to pornography even after learning just how damaging it is to our lives. We are trying to fulfill emotional needs like connection, affection, love, comfort, entertainment, pleasure and so on. No, it never successfully fulfilled those needs, but it’s where we went. And in its absence, we need healthy ways of meeting those needs. It’s like learning that you have been drinking gasoline instead of lemonade, so you stop drinking it. You still have a need to drink though!

The superpowers that people discuss are actually a return to living a full human life again. We are supposed to be confident and resilient in the face of life’s challenges. We’re supposed to have healthy self-esteem, mental focus and concentration. Social anxiety and brain fog and erectile dysfunction are not our natural state. But after years and even decades of addiction, we’ve been living a life that is so sub-human that living as we should seems extraordinary to us.

Part of that healthy return to normal life is being productive and working towards self-improvement. It’s difficult to see many benefits when nothing else in our lives have changed besides abstaining from PMO. And you’ve correctly noted that is what you’ve done. The new time and energy we have is best used in positively transforming our lives. Social anxiety goes away when we make the effort to get out of our comfort zone and communicate with others. Think of this NoPMO journey as providing the fuel you need to improve your life. No matter how much fuel is in your car, you have to get in and drive to reach your desired destination. It won’t get you there on its own.

I’m sure that when you start working towards positive goals and break free of your comfort zone, you’ll experience many of the same ‘superpowers’ others report. I know I have.

I’ve spoken about this a few times on my YouTube channel, here’s one video about the importance of being productive:

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Not a downer post, but an honest one. As above, I think it is building something new. I struggle like you. Still depressed. Still anxious. But working through one layer at a time

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I also have anxiety n anger issues. We have to work on it like we did on NoFap. Abstaining from PMO alone is not gonna solve all our problems.
Make NoFap part of lifestyle & create a new life further is our goal. And we can & will achieve it, whatever it takes.

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Challenge yourself… do things outside of your comfortzone.

Face your fears. Look people in the eye.
Dont worry, whatever happens… now… you got the balls to Prey in the open.

Go ahead brother… Change your life with your own hands.

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Social anxiety is generally caused by overthinking. We all tend to overthinking. But those are merely assumptions and not true.

For example - you are in a party filled with people. And you are sweating and becoming nervous, what if no one talks to me, how will I approach that group they are so beautiful and gorgeous people I don’t belong in there , oo no I look stupid standing alone , I don’t belong here etc.

Now most of those people don’t really gives a shit to what others think. If you approach them they will normally talk to you because they are not overthinking like you.

Look ,you maybe an introvert or never ever talk to a stranger in person , I won’t judge you. But if you can talk to one on one with anyone , i repeat with anyone!! than you have got the skills to be socially active in the outside world as well, you are just trapped in your brain made assumptions.

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Some great advice already here, especially from @pierretomas181 and @Forerunner. I would add that you now have the opportunity and responsibility to tap into your extra available energy, which is likely to be accessible to you intially as your feelings - both as sensations in your body and as emotions. You have made a great start here by getting in touch with how you feel and articulating it here - for yourself and for us. Build on it through bodywork, body scan meditations, and generally listening to your body. In time, intense emotions are likely to come up, including those called negative emotions, such as frustration, anger etc. Learn to experience and “hold” these emotions, particularly anger, without acting these emotions out in front of everyone. For example, it may involve breathwork and other exercises to harness/channel anger. In time, you will gain mastery over this emotion/energy. Instead of disturbing you, it will add to your power, determination and clarity. You will know where you want to go and how to get there without unnecessary effort. That is nothing short of a superpower.

Also, learn to be easy on yourself, to relax, to let time pass without having to fill it with something always, and give gifts to yourself of healthy activities that you enjoy.

Also be on the watch for triggers. The state you are describing now is ripe for relapsing. So keep yourself busy with positive things that you personally enjoy.

It may look like you are not gaining anything in your nofap days but every new day will add to your well being. You don’t need to be “busy fighting urges” to feel a sense of accomplishment The urges will return when they want to without warning. Fight them at the time when that happens.

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