How old are you? @anon32080123
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21 years old [May 22]
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30/03/2023 [THURSDAY]
Wasted yesterday without studying anything. This procrastination habit is very hard to get rid of. Whenever I try to do a task, procrastination be like âProcrastination has entered the chatâ & âGoals have been removed by procrastinationâ.
Hoping today I would be able to complete my tasks 
TASKS TODAY
- 100 bench crunches
- 10 km cycling
- 8 hours of study
- Research about Animation & VFX
I am glad I cycled yesterday. Mind was only saying âShould you really do this? Imagine simply riding cycle and suddenly what would happen if tyre getâs punctured?â
Was listening to METAMORPHOSIS [KUTE REMIX] in spotify and the song cover made me like âAyo, wtfâŚâ. I have removed every triggering content but just take a look at the picture:
Even Spotify is not safe now 
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I know itâs weird to say but you got no hair on your chest? Have you done some waxing or something
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Nah bro, itâs natural. No hair came out till now.
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31/03/2023 [FRIDAY]
Will start beating procastination. If I donât eat it up, it will devour me.
TASKS TODAY
- 100 bench crunches
- 10 km cycling
- 8 hours of study
- Update journey on REWIRE COMPANION
Relapsed today, reason was an movie called âThaneer mathan dinangalâ. There was an beautiful girl and I did the mistake again.
Tomorrow is a brand new month. Gonna stay clean
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01/04/2023 [SATURDAY]
Want to go tripping somewhere. Itâs been 4+ months since sitting home and nowhere to go because of this bs exams. University wonât let me know the exam dates and these guys post timetable exactly 1 week before exams. Also they wonât let us know which exam will come next.
Also if anyone calls university, no one will pick calls. They have almost 30-35 numbers and 15 of them are not in service and another 5 will always be busy. Actually I feel like beating the crap outta them. All these people care is only money.
I am actually fed up of this course. Just wanna spend some days tripping anywhere peaceful. Want to go to Ladakh, Kashmir or Jammu, Bhutan [One of the happiest places] etc.
Also didnât relapse. I am also loosing interest in â â â â and I am happy.
EDIT: Dad came home 2 days ago and he told that I have burned some fat from my stomach. This motivated me so much that imma keep on going.
Started using a new app for cycling and it is far better than Strava which I have used. No premium subscription or nothing. Simple plain app. Also set an goal for 100 km this april.
GOALS FOR APRIL
Below are all the goals for April which I will achieve:
- 100 km cycling.
- 1000 bench crunches.
- Study 8 hours for next 29 days.
- Focus and research about BA.ANIMATION & VFX course.
- Sleep at 10:00 pm.
- Wake up at 6:00 am.
- Complete 30 days of belly fat app.
These goals will be tough for a heavy procrastinator like me but I wonât give up.
This is how my Notion task page looks like:
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02/04/2023 [SUNDAY]
Failed to achieve all tasks. Woke up at 10:00 am. Today I was totally unenergetic.
Total sleepy head and even slept at afternoon. 
Now have to attend an reception function. Donât know if I will survive it. Itâs making me a bit tense and nervous thinking about it.
But I am still clean.
EDIT:
Competed day 1 of the belly fat app at morning.
Went to reception and it was awesome. Didnât feel anything, just simple awesomness. No shyness, no tension, nothing. Came home now
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Be careful bro. Not because you didnât relapse today after being lazy you will do it again. I know you donât want it but this is just a reminder for the future. Do not be lazy cause urges appear only in weak times. Itâs the strong ones that are the sword and willpower is your shield!
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Yes bro. I am fully prepared for it. One of my greatest strength I found was SWITCHING TASKS. I found this when I stopped counting days.
Also I have started to loose interest in â â â â or fapping. I donât even feel like doing it. I had urges today and it was a bit hard to deal with because I was lazy like you told but I didnât do it.
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03/04/2023 [MONDAY]
- Wake-up at 6:00 am= [Woke up at 6:50 am]
- 15 km cycling= [20.64 + 12.93 = 33.57 kms]
- 100 bench crunches=
- Study 8 hours=
- Focus and research on course=
- Complete 30 day of belly fat app=
- Sleep at 10:00 pm=
Today while cycling, I saw this beautiful powerhouse:
EDIT:
Again went for cycle ride at evening. Had to climb extreme inclines and heart was beating rapidly. I lack stamina. Need to build it.
Total 2 cycling workout today.
Goodnight, gonna sleep. Tomorrow exam so I maxed out workout so I can sleep. Now eyes are feeling heavy and brain is shutting down
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Mustang GT 
FORD will be missed forever !!
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Yea bro, itâs rare to see such cars here. I was like âWOWâ after seeing this.
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04/04/2023 [TUESDAY]
Today I have cost accounts exam and studied nothing. I am thinking of how I will survive 3 hours in exam hall. Going to watch some accounts videos now.
If possible I may prepare âCheat noteâ 
EDIT 1: Didnât study anything and know nothing. Todayâs exam utter fail with an egg. 
EDIT 2: As expected, I fucked up the exams. I had nothing to write, so I wrote the whole question paper. Only attended Part A, Part B and Part C I wrote the same exact question paper in the answer booklet.
EDIT 3: Today will be rest day for me. Totally tired and no motive to do anything. Bye, goodnight. Tomorrow I start studying for upcoming computer exam.
EDIT 4: I really feel ashamed of myself. Relapsed today. Just want to slap myself. 
Will start again tomorrow.
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05/04/2023 [WEDNESDAY]
I need to change asap. I have some issues going on and there is an pressure from parents, canât blame them. I am 21 and I need to take decisions in life. Canât always live like an immature kid.
I also need to take risk and an leap of faith. Need to make serious changes for myself or I wonât be able to improve. Also making changes in April goals and some more goals:
- Wake up at 6:00 am.
- 1000 bench crunches [APRIL TOTAL TARGET]
- Focus and research about BA.ANIMATION & VFX course.
- Sleep at 10:00 pm.
- 100 km cycling [APRIL TOTAL TARGET]
- Complete 30 days of belly fat.
- Complete 30 days of height increase.
- Gain General Knowledge.
- Reduce mobile and laptop usage.
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06/04/2023 [THURSDAY]
I am sick for the last 2 days. Slight body pain and running nose and cough.
Also I wonât be able to update my diary regularly, but will update whenever possible. Itâs because there are some problems going on in life.
Like people say âLike is hard I guess â Trying to figure out solutions for problems. Also there is pressure from parents.
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Take care of your health bro
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Yes bro, taking medicines 
08/04/2023 [SATURDAY]
I cried yesterday because of how I destroyed my life. I am a failure even now. I am 21 and I have no degree.
I just needed to pass b.com and if I did that, dad could have me admitted to any bank or workplace because he has hold in banks. I destroyed that chance by my mobile gamin addiction and fapping.
It has been 2 days and I have lost interest in living. I am playing valorant whole day in my room and doing nothing. On top of that I am sick and I have stopped interacting much with parents. Nothing makes me laugh. Parents are not tensed because I am very cheerful with them and I irritate them sometimes. They asked me if I am going through some problems and I told them no but deep inside I regret my actions.
Honestly, our parents are our 1st best and only well wishers, 2nd comes friends. I regret not listening to them. They care about me this whole time and I just destroyed it. I even prioritized parents over many thins but now everything makes sense when I connected the dots by looking back.
I started caring about them few months ago and will spend time with them even more because once you loose them, nothing can be done to bring back the lost time.
I NarutoKun take a oath from today onwards that:
From this moment on I will put my maximum hardwork in whatever thing I am gonna do. It can be a course, fitness routine etc. I wonât let parents, friends or myself down. I honestly regret my actions till now and thatâs why I wanna change.
I am also going to drop B.COM and choose Animation course and I decided I will burn my â â â off to obtain this degree. Because in todayâs world, without degree, job availability chances are very low. Yea skill also matters but degree also matters.
Fatherâs wish was that for me to complete B.COM because if I completed that he could gave me a job in any bank. So I will take MBA after Animation course so I will have both options to:
- Work in an animation/vfx company or
- Work in bank.
I had enough and I really felt the failure and rock bottom in this situation because I can now sense how tough it is to live in todayâs world.
Will never stop improving but will keep on improving.
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How many years of B.Com left?
If not long, how about you complete it? Just a thought. Itâs your call ultimately.
Start preparing for CAT if youâve decided to pursue MBA. Get an Analytical and Logical Reasoning MCQ book cuz thatâs fun.
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