An 8 year old, not caring about life or death. Because he was already in hell and in his words - lived with the devil himself. If an 8 year old can’t give up, it would be a shame for me to give up now. He went through all that, conquered his fears, and became the toughest man in the world. And everyone else looks at him as if he is an alien from outer space? Not fair. His human vulnerabilities made him stronger. I have them too. You have them too. All the 7 billion of us do. But I will face them. Day by day. I will not give up. I will not give up! I will not give up! Not yet!
I will not give up. Not give up. I will fight back. I will take the hits. I will take all the hits that I need to take. I will not give up. I will keep fighting back. Only fighting back. Fighting back. I will keep fighting for what I believe in. I will keep fighting.
I’m going to be built if I’m not born. I will build myself. I will keep fighting. One step at a time. Crossing one plateau at a time. I will surpass my limits. I will not give up. Just not give up. Not give up. I will not give up. I will not give up. No matter how much scared I am. I will move forward. I will not give up. Not give up. I will not give up. Not yet. There’s a lot I have to do. there’s a lot I have to change. There’s a big difference I have to create. There’s so many things I have to do. So many plans I have to form, so many more to execute. I don’t have to give up. I don’t have to stop. Maybe rest a little, but never stop. I’m a human with vulnerabilities and these vulnerabilities will make me inhuman. I’m going to be a monster. Indestructible monster! You hear me negative thoughts?? You don’t do shit to me! You just make me stronger! With your help itself I will fight back! With all that negative energy I will fight back. I will use everything to my advantage. I will not give up. Not now! Not yet! I still have a lot of life left inside me! Not yet! Just not yet!
That’s the spirit bro. Keep going.
Remembering the last line. Always. Except that maybe I’m not aspiring to be an ideal or perfect hero.
I’m going to be a monster.
One day
If I take up teaching
I wish to be the coolest professor in the university.
Absolutely not intimidating at all, but definitely the person whose every word is to be taken seriously.
One who can make learning absolutely fun. Able to explain even the most intimidating concepts in the most simple manner. Never losing my dynamism and energy till the end of the lecture.
Students dying to attend a class from me. Looking upto me as a role model they can follow.
Maybe also a professor being crushed on sometimes 
Been through failures has taught me a lot. One of the most important things is - compassion.
I have always been able to empathize with those who have been struggling and failing. And I feel deep regrets because sometimes I laughed at the situations of others who couldn’t do some thing due to lack of skills. Later similar thing happened with me. I make a vow that I will never ever laugh at someone’s struggles and failures. I’m not sure if this applies to people like Connor McGregor, who I believe deserved to lose after severe acts of arrogance and narcissism. I’m honestly glad that his opponents won against him (especially Dustin Poirier who knocked him out), and I guess I just wish him well and recover from all this, although this time I would like to see a more humble version of him.
Too many thoughts coming up. Negativity wrestling with positivity. I honestly don’t know what is happening. But at one moment I want to give up and stay. I’m scared and don’t want to face the world. At another moment I want to hold on to my dream. I want to believe that I can do it. I want to strive hard for it. I want to commit to it - give all I got.
I need to keep my head at one place and let all the positivity flow around. Not the thought that I can do this and then do no efforts. But I want to keep doing the effort while hoping for the result. I have to keep doing it for every second of my life. Keep holding on to my hope. Relish my future achievement and give it all I got.
I wish this all to end
All this internal conflict
I fucking hate it. I just fucking hate all of it.
When will my mind understand that we don’t have to fight among ourselves, but we have to fight together against the world? When will you?
I’m tired of you going against me always. I’m simply tired of everything!
Time to do or time to die
Distractions - do your worst this time. I’m ready to take it all
And I’m not even dying this time, unlike what I’ve said in my previous posts
Fuck running away. Fuck anticipating failures. Fuck dying. I’m doing this to win. And I will win.
Are you Starting No Peeking Challenge with me starting from tomorrow for whole of June?
I told u everything. And my definition of peeking is different than yours. I have explained it all
My peeking includes P.rn intentionally for a minute or so… Whether it aroused me or not…
and my peeking involves social media or any other form of amusement I seek on the internet. Except for the useful stuff everything else is peeking to me
So you are confident for 2 to 30 June
no, I’m more of a desperate than confident
I want to achieve something and I will do everything to achieve it
and I will achieve it this time no matter what
and with this I will also demonstrate to you how strong my determination is. both of us are struggling.
and finally, temptations did show up again
but I will not act upon them, not today
I had a dream where I was guilty for relapsing.
Waking up was soothing enough. Thank God
terrible day. but I held on.
I can do better