Today I felt a momentary realisation of my monster. That monster isn’t afraid of anything, and won’t back down no matter what’s ahead of him. He will just charge, because that’s what he knows.
Too bad it was just a momentary feeling, but maybe I can make it last longer.
Bro bring the fingerprint to forensic department.
What u did at that time to let it eat your food? 
I was outside, attending Ganapati puja.
Sure 
I wiped my laptop though 
I relapsed. But I didn’t like it. Not to worry, I can get back real quick.
I will kill my obstacles just like him.
I don’t want to care what others would think about me.
I want to embrace my narcissism. I want to believe that I’m one of the best in the world.
Because it’s a better way to live than to have guilt all the time. Humility has it’s uses, but believing in yourself is always better.
Doesn’t matter even it is exaggerated, as long as you got a strong enough work ethic to prove it to yourself.
You don’t need to make a show about it to others, you just need to listen to that voice in your head, which says - “you, yes you are going to make it, because you are meant for greatness”.
I want to be that guy.
I want to embrace these so called “negative” traits and make them into my strength.
I don’t want to care what others say, especially those who have a black and white view of the world. Because in reality the world isn’t black vs white it’s grey. Dualistic logic is bullshit in most domains if not all.
Although I’m definitely going to make use of duality too, if something stands in my way I’ll want to eliminate it, be it a person or something inanimate.
The bottomline being I was always afraid to make judgements and act upon them. Not anymore. I don’t want to be restrained, I don’t want to overthink about useless matters and I don’t want to be stuck into things that just don’t matter.
I want to give my feelings and instincts a chance, that they’re right to be there. And I usually don’t care what majority of the people think, but now I want to truly embrace it as my second nature.
I will be that person, who truly values his own opinions more than anyone else’s. And why shouldn’t I? I don’t make conclusions in thin air, I process things rigorously before reaching there most of the times.
I adamantly want to believe in myself and not care about others. And that starts tonight.
I was gaslighted about stuff, and it is fading away, I have started to notice it. I will gain myself back. People around me or who interact with me will find me more rude and arrogant than ever, but that won’t matter. That’s me.
I deserve better because I’m meant for more.
I believe I’m meant for greatness.
I have won a major battle today, and I realised that self love is one of the most important things you got.
It comes before others, maybe even God. Indeed I believe it is God who has given me this piece of wisdom. He’s asking me to love myself first and forget everything else.
Because if you can’t love yourself first you can’t love others.
I have said it before that I do love myself more, but today I’m truly feeling a deeper connection with myself. Today I can truly feel that self love.
And it is here to stay and grow, and I’ll enjoy every bit.
I’m through a big headache and I don’t know what to do. I can’t sleep and it just sucks overall.
Relapsing won’t be helpful at all. I’m not even aroused. I’m disgusted with it.
Let’s hope I make it out to the other side.
Alright I’m stronger than this. I’ll definitely make it to the other side. I’m not afraid of this stupid headache. I can handle myself.
Letting it out made it feel better though, no doubt.
Today I made a relapse. Not happy with it.
But today I did something fun as well.
I went on for a walk, and here it’s a little outskirts area so we don’t have street lights through many roads. My road was one of them.
I was alone walking through that darkness, barely able to see anything. And it was also hot and humid, so I removed my shirt and kept walking. There were some vehicles going through that road occasionally and they might have thought they saw a ghost
I went to the market today. I’ve been there several times but it was today I noticed things I usually overlook.
I went because today we have a ritual of honoring our ancestors. And for that to be done in traditional way you need to have leaf plates and bowls.
I went to that section, an old grandma was so skilled in making these plates and bowls. She made one piece in less than a minute.
I noticed other shops around, lots of pottery. Many painted and beautiful too. Everything done by hand.
We have the best roads today in my area (there’s still a lack of streetlights though 
) and it looks very modernized than before but when you go in you’ll still find the traditional stuff being made. People still buy the clay pots to store and drink water, or maybe for some other purpose.
I wish it stays that way, I hope that this part wouldn’t industrialize.
Sorry bro I’m not Bengali. I’m actually Marathi.
And please delete that post of yours.
@nofapstar123 please help this guy.
yes bro message koro amake
@OnlySRJ delete your texts from my diary.
Sorry Brother 
I have deleted all texts
