Nep's diary (in pursuit of being unbreakable)

I’ve wasted all my time so far :disappointed_relieved:

To my dear almighty.
I thank you for this pain you gave me. It made me much stronger than I’ve ever been.
I will need more of this pain, that will push me forward. That will make a superior version of me.
I’m not giving up now. I’m so grateful for this struggle. And the only desire I have right now is to push myself harder than ever before. Break all the safety barriers and bring out the monster within. With that I have to create a difference in this world.
Push me to the brink, to the worst. And along with that please also give me strength to endure all of that. I have to become stronger. I have to become a monster. Indestructible monster. I have to master self control, to shrug off severe pain with ease. I have to keep fighting until I’m dead. To have an unbreakable willpower that will scare the might of everyone and everything. To never be scared no matter how fucked up the situation is. Even if I’m scared, the only thing I want to do is face it. To conquer all the passion within me. It’s the only thing I want to achieve. Please help me. Give me strength to go through this tough road. I’m going to fight my fear now.

3 Likes

My man got a partner now

This is the best love story

4 Likes
  1. Wake up on or before 5:10 am✅
  2. Exercise✅
  3. Pranayam✅
  4. Looking at the dot (meditation):white_check_mark:
  5. Drinking a bottle of water and taking meds every morning✅
  6. Studies (> 6 hours) :x:
  7. Phone usage < 1 hr❌
  8. No sleep during the day (power naps < 40 mins is allowed):x:
  9. No Youtube/Media beyond my lectures❌
  10. Plan for next day❌
2 Likes
  1. Wake up on or before 5:10 am✅
  2. Exercise✅
  3. Pranayam✅
  4. Looking at the dot (meditation):white_check_mark:
  5. Drinking a bottle of water and taking meds every morning✅
  6. Studies (> 6 hours):x:
  7. Phone usage < 1 hr❌
  8. No sleep during the day (power naps < 40 mins is allowed):x:
  9. No Youtube/Media beyond my lectures❌
  10. Plan for next day✅
3 Likes

@Nep1234id good to see your diary.
I think you forget to Check 1000 day no peek thread

2 Likes
  1. Wake up on or before 5:10 am❌
  2. Exercise✅
  3. Pranayam✅
  4. Looking at the dot (meditation):white_check_mark:
  5. Drinking a bottle of water and taking meds every morning❌
  6. Studies (> 6 hours):x:
  7. Phone usage < 1 hr❌
  8. No sleep during the day (power naps < 40 mins is allowed):white_check_mark:
  9. No Youtube/Media beyond my lectures❌
  10. Plan for next day❌
2 Likes

Waking up late sucks

1 Like

I have to move
No matter how much it sucks. No matter how much it hurts. I can’t stay here. I have to pull myself out of this.

1 Like
  1. Wake up on or before 5:10 am✅
  2. Exercise✅
  3. Pranayam✅
  4. Looking at the dot (meditation):white_check_mark:
  5. Drinking a bottle of water and taking meds every morning✅
  6. Studies (> 6 hours):x:
  7. Phone usage < 1 hr❌
  8. No sleep during the day (power naps < 40 mins is allowed):x:
  9. No Youtube/Media beyond my lectures❌
  10. Plan for next day❌
2 Likes

Had a wet dream in the night, sexual thoughts coming in with that throughout the day. I thought I could handle it until I wasn’t able to.
Also watched some porn for a some time and I was enjoying that until I realized it isn’t worth anything and I had to bring myself to normal again. Sure had a share of that “easy dopamine”. I’ve spent my all day being horny and not focused on my objectives at all.
I can’t go down this path, I have to force my way out of this. After a long time this feels like an “impossible” battle I can’t fight back. But I have to hold on no matter whatever happens. Starting now I’m going to do productive work until the end of the day.

2 Likes

Well at least one good thing that happened today
It’s a trio now

5 Likes
  1. Wake up on or before 5:10 am❌
  2. Exercise✅
  3. Pranayam✅
  4. Looking at the dot (meditation):white_check_mark:
  5. Drinking a bottle of water and taking meds every morning✅
  6. Studies (> 6 hours):white_check_mark:
  7. Phone usage < 1 hr✅
  8. No sleep during the day (power naps < 40 mins is allowed):x:
  9. No Youtube/Media beyond my lectures✅
  10. Plan for next day✅
2 Likes

I fought like a monster today
I did things I didn’t like, and I did it for the whole day
I hated every second of it, but I didn’t go back to comfort zone. I held on
Now I’ve to do it everyday and becomes stronger and more resilient.
I’m scared of what tomorrow will bring, but hey I got to confront my fears right?

1 Like

One of the flowers is done today
Kinda feels bad.

2 Likes
  1. Wake up on or before 5:10 am❌
  2. Exercise✅
  3. Pranayam✅
  4. Looking at the dot (meditation):white_check_mark:
  5. Drinking a bottle of water and taking meds every morning✅
  6. Studies (> 6 hours):x:
  7. Phone usage < 1 hr❌
  8. No sleep during the day (power naps < 40 mins is allowed):x:
  9. No Youtube/Media beyond my lectures❌
  10. Plan for next day❌
1 Like

Excessive pushing took a toll on me
I could feel it today. Was unable to do anything at all.
I slept all day. It was just unbearable. My whole body was aching, not just the left arm.
But I’ve created that pattern in my brain. The pattern of studying. So I can do it again. I have to get over my trauma of studies. I know I can do it. I know that I’m not going to stand down. I got this. I will achieve what I want.
My goal is achievable. It’s not impossible. I can achieve it. I can feel it now.

2 Likes

Bro …take a day or two break from study … in These lockdowns it is important to Keep ourselves entertained in good manner… Helpful for mental health. In last year I did terrible things in lockdown
Just keep aside all Challenges for a day or two to Fresh yourself .
If you didn’t Take good entertainment mind will sneakly lure you to entertain in bad manner by Peaking etc.

  1. Wake up on or before 5:10 am❌
  2. Exercise✅
  3. Pranayam✅
  4. Looking at the dot (meditation):white_check_mark:
  5. Drinking a bottle of water and taking meds every morning✅
  6. Studies (> 6 hours):x:
  7. Phone usage < 1 hr❌
  8. No sleep during the day (power naps < 40 mins is allowed):x:
  9. No Youtube/Media beyond my lectures❌
  10. Plan for next day❌
2 Likes

I’m taking a break

I’ll be back on day 90 perhaps (Right now at day 82)

I need to sort my shit out.