You said that one night you told her some harsh things
That was like 2 weeks ago and then i tried to make up for things and things were back on track but that ignoring recently happened when she moved to the other city(,3 days ago).
So you know whyshe moved
Yup definitely,She moved because she got admission in a med school there ā¦ @owllegion
@Usman10891
Bro, I read the post and I have been into your situation, where there is uncertainty and you have no clue about what to do but you feel that the time is slipping away and you need make a decision quickly.
So here is what I suggest, First of all calm yourself down and then decide what you need to do and think about why you did that. Write everything that comes out of it and then donāt put your mind into this mind swallowing subject again and do what you have decided.
About being jealous, I think it is very natural to us as humans, it is a motivator for our actions and make us aware of our inability and about the things we care about. But I donāt really like it as gives me a very negative feedback, where it used evolve into envy, which doesnāt help at all.
So now I acknowledge that I am jealous but i also acknowledge the work put in there by the other person to reach thereā¦ And second thing is that, what you are jealous of might look cool but you donāt know the actual situation.
So know that you can also reach there if you had put in the efforts required, but you didnāt because you have other goals that you have which is more important than this.
And right, just follow your heart after consulting the brain and if it doesnāt work outā¦
Well thatās how the life isā¦
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Yea thatās good advice.
I would write down my priorities and goals and then write down what I am actually following, and then set goals in order to follow those priorities more closely. Donāt chase after unhealthy stuff or relationships.
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You first need to have clarity over this thought. If you have clarity, thereās no reason to ponder over her.
I know she is your friend, you both need to sit together and discuss this thing, and set clear boundaries if you both see each other as friends.
And if thereās a doubt, it means you are seeing each other as āpotentialā partners, in that case, you need to confess, because as far as I know, girls donāt have boldness to confess strongly.
But you need to be honest, and thereās a chance you will get rejection, but thereās a high probability she will comeback to you if you actually mean a lot.
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Well, it get broken in my case too. But one good thing was we never met each other, so moving on wasnāt an issue after few days (I still remember her once everyday, just that I am not stuck).
Ladko ka relationship tootne ke baad hi maturity ata hei, pata nahi kyu 
.
Well I have a strong intuition that if @Usman10891 confess strongly, things gonna work out eventually, the worst mistake we boys do is being desperate which girls see it as something bad. Girls have emotional maturity of different level.
He needs to be calm and patient, then only things will work out.
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Going with your "strong Intuition"
ā¦I will try to sort things out and confess about my feelings.Lets see what she has to say about this(before you answer i had decided to ignore her like she did to meā:sob:
)
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Remember, there will be intial resistance and chance of rejection at first. But chances are high she will comeback to you.
I see 80% chances of success. Just be calm and donāt come out as desperate.
They are emotional beings, and have check mated me with the kind of strategist I am. So try to appeal to her emotions, but donāt make her feel like you are doing emotional blackmail.
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be careful. From what I read so far, she seems like a toxic person. I was in a similar way before I came to understand this.
Toxic people:
- will try to cut you off from others and make it only you n them
- they will say they are all you need
- they will try to control every aspect of your life so that it seems you always need validation from them
- if you ever bring something up they will play the victim card
- theyāre very good at shifting the blame to others
- if fights occur theyāll make it seem like its your fault
- outside they may be very nice people but once you become close their true colors are seen
- they keep requiring you to change and adapt but wonāt do anything themself
Often theyāre fairly pretty and nice people on the outside. If youāre girl is doing more than one of the things above then she is emotionally manipulating you. Up to you if you want to continue to chase her.
But if sheās like I described, the though you may feel like shit right now, Iād say you dodged a bullet.
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Some mf is always there to give her a shoulder. While a man only have one true friend to rely on, sometimes that too aināt the case.
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I still remember what you said that day to me. It was the most bitter reply in that topic, but the most truthful one.
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And:
@Usman10891 he does have a point there dude. Are you sure she is a good person, I mean, I can see honesty in girls eyes but Iām not sure you can. I havenāt actually met her but manipulating-girls do have these characteristics. I know someone who considered a girl as a friend. She didnāt. She played the 'smart persona role, like how she is all important and on a high mental level, how she is āniceā and other of these characteristics. And he actually fell for it. Now itās his wife who is the man if the house and I think you have an idea about the rest of the story.
But in the end, you are the only one who met her so you know her better. But seriously bro think about it, you moving cities just for her, you caring so much for her, do you love her? Or are you being controlled?
Stay honest, reasonable, patient, cool, and aware
Oh another advice: the biggest red flag is when a girl tries to separate you from your parents.
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1ā¦She isnt trying to separate me from my parents ,She doesnt even know that I am trying to move.
2ā¦I know her from more than 2 years And She has definitely helped me through a lot and same goes on her side (I can tell her things i Cant even tell to my parents cz i know i wont be judged)
3ā¦But the sudden change in behaviour is what made me worried and curious like why in the world would she do that
4ā¦Yup She is not my GF but that solely bcz i dont want to.I think long distance relations dont work thats why.
5ā¦I decided in my head that instead of going in a relationship and being cheated (which she wouldnt tell me if we are in a relationship)I should sit back and watch if she likes some other guy or not [I am being irrational and unfair here,I know]ā¦5th point is the most complex oneā:skull:
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Well in the end, itās your life so I wonāt know better.
All the very best bro.
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@Usman10891 sorry brother not good in giving this type of advice
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How are some people better at keeping different things at their places like study,work ,relationship etc without mixing and messing upā¦Has it something to do with genetics?Or one gets experienced as he gets old?Anyone???
Whatās your age bro?
And how much would you rate yourself out of 10 in terms of social status, looks, stability, money, wisdom, emotional quotient?
How many girls are your friends, how many girls do you talk to regularly?
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Bro if youāre a muslim try to stay away from sins as much as possible and even when you have sinned , repent right away to Allah, The most glorified, The most high.
Fornication, illegal sexual intercource which is one of the major sins, and Allah said to not even go near to fornication which means to not have relationships without marriage.
So if you are intersted in this girl , go ahead and get married to her, first thing you should do is to get both of the parents involved and eventually get married, and avoid any relationship of bf-gf.
But if you are not intersted in marriage, you should not move ahead with this girl and drop her. Because if you continue being in a gf bf relationship there might be chances of committing fornication.
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