Hey hey hey. Today is day 156 and i just wanna remind y’all that this fight is worth it. Stay ahead of all these challenges. One day you’ll thank yourself for being and trying to be the best that you could.
Always be grateful that you have the chance to improve daily. Never waste the opportunities to grow.
I am a bit pressured since my grades are hanging. My exams results weren’t super great. I am planning to focus more on the upcoming semester. I will avoid rushing my works and being too passive.
Hey everyone it’s been 181 days.
I missed this forum very much.
Sometimes i am getting swayed by tiktoks of females that is completely fine of PMO.
Classes are upcoming soon. Glad that i was able to finish a semester full of pressure and anxiety without PMO. Yey!
I was able to understand how many kids get trapped forever by a mistake and trauma from childhood. I saw few kids near our house and overheard them talking about pornography. There were boys and girls. My heart seems shattered. Seing kids being swayed by an addicting thing. If only theyd knew the shame and guilt that is so unbearable and the addiction which makes it more complicated.
After reading your diary for the first time, I can confidently say,You are a strong person. Now don’t stress your mind. Your time’ll come and you will rise. But now looking back, going to lead you no where. When I feel such feelings,I keep on reading few screenshot from this community. hope that ll help you too
If you feel stressed of classes then go ahead and give yourself a good rest. go for a vacation with your loved person. stay with people with whom you are comfortable…just divert yourself by doing something which is a real rest to your mind. Good Day !!
Thank you guys! It’s such a relief that many of you are willing to help in these trying times.
To be honest i am having one of the greatest urges today. I know i should never fall to these lurking urges.
To those who are struggling like me, i hope you remember the goal and the very reason you started. When pmo seems to be everything you want today, remeber that it is a trick, a lie and a shortcut to painful guilt and self destruction.
Invest good things and in due time we will reap good thing. Avoid looking at nasty stuffs
@Mid3 You’ve come so far since you started this diary, it’s amazing to witness.
When you find yourself struggling, remember the lessons of the easypeasymethod.org. We only suffer when we still desire it. You are a beautiful soul who deserves genuine love and happiness, which can never be found in PMO.
You are strong enough to do this. We believe in you.
I have fallen and i really hate myself for still wanting to do it. I am almost asleep when i became so foolish enough to just dig another hole to bury my confidence and happiness.
I am still looking forward to never look at pornography again. I relapsed without it and have no more plans to look at it.
I thought of relapsing while being half asleep. The though that it will somehow make me happier or help me cope with my worsened feeling. But i was wrong. I feel so empty today.
I am drowning with so much failures this week. What a weekend ender.
Lastly, i felt like i’ve betrayed all that things i’ve fought for. I feel so bad for breaking another goal.
I don’t want to have a streak that lacks integrity and honesty.
And I don’t wanna cheat on myself. So here i come. Back at day 0.
Disgusting and extremely disappointed.
Where all i feel is emptiness. I was supposed to feel rewarded. Because the thought of not having things for a long time should feel great. But in the end all i have is misery and emptiness.
I feel so bad. This is just too much.
I know this happened since i was off guard. Little cracks from the wall that i thought was manageable has caused my fall.
Sister, I’ve seen you working so hard and I’m not going to lie to you, but it disheartened me when I saw that you fell as well. But, it has happened. Forget about it. You are only a human being, and craving to be intimate with someone is not a sin.
I remember that you once mentioned thinking about a guy after you complete 365 days, but sister, I think that now is the time you try it. There’s nothing wrong with it. I can understand that 365 days are not over, but you yourself know that this fall happened due to the very same reason of being alone and restless, craving for some support and care. Don’t punish yourself , sister. You don’t deserve it. I want you to look at your transformation and have faith in yourself. You have achieved what 90% of this forum hasn’t. You should not be hard on yourself. Treat yourself gently with love and compassion. Take care.
Sister don’t be hard on yourself. As brother @PrDr has said, you’ve achieved something 95% of the rewire users couldn’t and this is how you treat yourself for achieving that??
Being hard on yourself won’t do any good for you. Say its ok. Everyone is human and mistakes happens. Do something you love- talk with loved ones, read a good book, exercise.
The most important thing I should congratulate you for is you didn’t watch ■■■■!
That in itself is a great achievement. Now, don’t ever think that all your improvements are gone or you are back to square one.
Trust me, ONLY ■■■■ CAN TAKE AWAY THE IMPROVEMENTS THAT YOU’VE MADE.
Appreciate yourself for coming this far. Be kind to yourself. If you are not kind, who in this world is going to do that??
Life is a beautiful gift. ■■■■ is out of your life and you are free. Congratulations
Hello everyone! I am kinda filled by shame these past days. Sometimes what happen around us is not the greatest battle. It is what happens inside us.
And that is what happened. The battle that happened can be compared to a very willing surrender. It is not that I never tried to resist. But I understood that the relapse i made was caused by a single moment of urge. It was because I LET my guard down. Poison has intoxicated me, maybe for quite some time. I recognized it was not good and has been affecting me, but i disregarded. I was sad and disappointed the past few days. But instead of going out and doing something, i chose to isolate myself and cry at night.
All these time i thought i am okay and been doing well. But deep inside my heart is shattered. It was wandering so bad. For a week all i did was cry at night. Questioning myself and questioning those people who hurt me. So to make you understand my situation, last year a friend left me. Said goodbye and chose a different path. That path is surely different from what we used to. What hurts me the most is that it seems like the one person who knew me so well doesn’t seem to care at all. I’d see this person by the roadside, i’ll go and honk while waving but i’ll end up being disregarded.
It left me questioning. For many years that person has shared my happiness, pain and achievements. But then after being with another person, i was and i felt rejected. The words i left unsaid, the last time we met, the time where goodbye was spoken, hurts me like hell now. I was considered SPAM on her accounts so messaging this person is useless. I am left with pain.
I felt so much pain and pity for myself. And that is where it all went wrong. I stayed at bed all day and kept my phone running.
The very last thing to do is PITY YOURSELF. That is where it all went wrong. I am not to feel that way.
I should feel confident about myself. I should be the one to see my WORTH first. From that moment i got 0% self worth. And i immediately lost the battle. Because I THOUGHT i am, and MY LIFE is insignificant.
The time i went here in REWIRE app. I was so broken. I felt so disgusted. So i went try and had few streaks that month until I reached 104 and fell. That was extremely painful so without looking back I was able to reach 192. I hope this time, i’ll still be able to get back on track. I hope that i wont fall into chaser effect.
I still have a chance. And you have too.
Cheersbto greater heights. Ill be back later
Hope this time you will be free forever. Make the right decision. Be aware and vigilant.
Think about the best and you will get it.
Focus on your tasks and life goals. Rest will take care by itself.
You know, it’s good that you see things differently.
But there is still a perspective you are missing.
I too, had a friend that I miss. I would say I was obsessed with them. I tried very hard to be better for them. But I just, if anything, made things worse.
Over the years, I’ve realized something. I have no one except God. The last year, I truly felt alone. I had desperately looked for someone to talk to, but the people I tried to be friends with just barely paid attention to me. Everyone seemed to be so self centered and inconsiderate. But this made me realize that, while I’ve been desperately searching for someone, there was already someone perfect wanting to be with me. And that was God.
It’s so easy to put ourselves first and not Him who gave us life and who created all.
Pride, being the first sin ever committed by the adversary, is something we struggle with.
I want to do good and help others that struggle, but I sense that it’s easy to have prideful thoughts.
After all, our successes are because of God. We can’t do anything ourselves. I realized, when I truly focus my perspective on His glory and His Kingdom, I realize that things have always been good. Our perspective is what causes us to see things bad.
I still have much to work on like every believer, but we already made our main goal of accepting Jesus. Now we just have to stay committed and stay faithful. For He is faithful.
As for your friend, I’m not sure if it was a ‘toxic’ friendship, but I know we do not rely on others for happiness. I’ve been listening to moody radio on how if we put our hopes on a human, its bound to fail eventually. Instead, focus on your one true Friend. Lord Jesus.
And remember, once you’re called home to the Kingdom. You’ll have so many great friends that you know will never leave!
Excited to see you there one day!
Wow. This is actually great. I’ve been left for many times and realized how i was so dependent and expecting on others.
I’ve seen those sides. Well i have to be honest that sometimes i am being overdriven by the emotions that is inside. It is maybe because i overdepended on others. That when i feel so down i go and run to people instead to God.
I have been blinded by my loneliness. That i forgot how everything works together for good. God has perfect plans. Sometimes, or lets say most of the time i forget it.
God has brought so much realization since that closest friend of mine left. Deep inside i know God is correcting somwthing in my heart. Thank you for reminding me that one great thing.
Being overthrown by emotions, i became so driven by it. Ended up regretting.
Just last night, i dreamt of my friend and i cannot clearly recall what happened but i felt heavy. Yesterday was a day where i reconnected with old friends from my old school.
Some words really marked. And i really like how perfect the timing is.
Maybe this is the begging of another growth. I just have to overcome. Since i’ve decided to leave pmo, it has been a bumpy ride. And i am not numb anymore
