Did you Draw a main character of Korean serial “Boys over flower” in 2nd pic?
BTW nice sketches @JumpingBuddha bhaiya
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Thanks dear @SincereDev ,
How are you doing?
It’s BTS Singer-songwriter Kim Seok-Jin. I had drawn it for a friend who is BTS fan.
I am good bhaiya …you are not regular in your diary so I visited your diary
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A bit busy with things. 
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Starting another chapter in IT industry. Would be joining my new organisation in few days.
This brahmacharya journey has indeed helped me to gather the confidence and focus to rethink my career goals.
It has been a tedious and time taking journey professionally and personally. Maybe I will share some insights later.
Make the (good) habits to break the (bad) habits.
Wishing all fellow companions strength of mind.
JumpingBuddha
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Bhaiya…I wish your best in every endeavour 
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Your diary is filled with positive aura 
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Hi dear companions,
Hope you all are working hard towards your goals.
I have decided to share my recent journey in short (not too short though 
)
After college I decided to join corporate world, to be financially capable. I don’t like to be dependent on the family for financial reasons.
For around 3 years, I worked in IT industry. Once I had financial stability I quit the job (months after I got a promotion and employee recognition award) to prepare for civil services.
From early age I had in mind to contribute to the society in best possible way, to do something big in life, to be recognised and remembered by the people for long even after my death - just like you do…
I started my preparation with full vigour, joined a renowned coaching institute in New Delhi.
With 3 failed attempts (where I slipped with 5-15 marks), I was not able to make it to the list. There were time when I doubted my decision and my ability. I came across the time when I was depressed, when I cried in front of my dad (first time after my childhood days), who including my family always supported me and let me choose whatever I aspired for.
Meanwhile, my dad also got an accident and suffered from spinal injury. He got temporarily disabled for months (Now he is in good health with only minor side effects after nerve recovery).
Had to face the feeling of incompetence, unworthiness and guilt when my younger sister called me after potential sexual abuse (while her preparation of medical entrance exam) and I was not there to help. She still have traces of psychological trauma but had grown into a bold girl. I can’t explain how proud I feel to be her brother. She is pursuing her B.Sc. now.
Back to my preparation- After 3 failed attempts, I was in total dismay. Anxiety about future uncertainty is normal in such case. Several questions crippled my mind-
- Should I still continue preparation after so many failed attempts?
- Should I leave preparation?
- What about my aspirations, how can I do justice to them?
- Even if I try to go back to corporate world, will it accept me after such a huge gap? Isn’t my experience outdated now?
- My savings are also exhausted. Is it ok to ask for money to continue my preparation?
- What about expectations of family, friends and relatives. (They have been quite supportive all the time and I knew they would respect my decision)
- Am I wasting my precious time?
Several such questions are more than enough to confuse the mind and put the mind to certain state of frustration and loneliness. This vulnerable state is the best budding ground for “bad habits” and strengthen the latent weaknesses.
This is the time I was swayed the most, but thanks to that moment, I realised soon it was going too bad and I need to gather myself up and achieve the liberation from this “vicious cycle”. My personality leans more towards introvert type , but I found out that talking to near and dear ones is very helpful in such vulnerable times. Thanks to my family, school and college friends for listening and supporting me unconditionally. I planned the strategy, made the progress map, did self analysis and committed to constantly improving myself for a larger good. I made my failures a thing to be proud of. I had a clear motive to improve myself now.
Just to mention a relatable point-
There are many factors responsible for the success and failure of myself, but the most important factor is myself because this is the only factor I can have total control and that can lead to improvement of other factors as well. So I decided to take charge of it.
I practiced intermittent fasts, sometimes full day fasts, had food without sugar and salt for around 3 months (I was cooking my own food, so it was easy). Read a lot of books and articles about brahmacharya and other good things.
Started brahmacharya starting 1st Jan 2020 as new year resolution. But after around 90 days I failed again. But I learnt the way my mind responds, how and when my senses get out of control and how my body reacts to it. I learnt what can help me and what can not. Meanwhile I read a lot of books about yoga and philosophy too.(word of caution- Too much “knowledge” may be counter productive, we should leave some room for experiences and take the knowledge with a pinch of salt)
Now I was adamant to practice brahmacharya more and more. Having said that I was also away from social media in all forms from last 4 years during my preparation and I can say that even without them one can fall in trap of “bad habits”. The permanent solution is not in blocking external factors but turning inwards and tuning the internal factors (mind, thought process, attitude etc).
While experimenting with my practice of brahmacharya, I got this app, while searching play store to track my progress. And it was a moment of joy and “I am not alone” moment to find out that, there are so many lovely companions with similar mindset who are actually working to get liberated from “bad habits”.
Coming to recent experience-
A few months back I decided to make a comeback to Corporate world. I am also clear that I can still fulfill my aspirations. Civil services is just one of the means to achieve the ends, but not the only one. So I was busy with my preparation for interview to get an entry to IT industry. I can confidently say that the focus, consistency and undivided concentration with a sense of urgency helped me to push through all the odds against me. And brahmacharya was an important part of my life in this recent journey.
Now I am ready to start second chapter of my professional life. After more than 9 months of practicing brahmacharya (rather trying to practice brahmacharya). I feel an internal satisfaction. Ofcourse, it seemed hard initially (not impossible), but now it feels normal. I can see more important things in life, new ways to achieve aspirations, new avenues to a fulfilling life.
Most importantly I can confidently say that I am proud of my past decisions.
“Prepare for the worst and hope for the best.”
ब्रह्मचर्यः परमो धर्मः।
Journey continues…
Lets keep working hard, improving ourselves and enjoying the journey for larger good.
Wish you all best of healths and minds.
Best regards
JumpingBuddha
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Your diary is filled with a lot of positivity bro @JumpingBuddha . Reading these words always inspire us to do a little more, give little more, become a little better. I strongly believe and pray to God that you surely will pass the civil service exam. You will be remembered even after your death and your parents will surely be proud of you. I believe, this diary is the most mature one we have in the forum. No unnecessary bragging, unnecessary motivation, play of words. Just real, authentic words coming from the heart, Thank you once again for being with us with a lantern in your hand. We all are together in this and that faith is what keeps me going forward most of the time too. Keep going and keep giving your best out to the world.
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Also, for how long are you planning to stay celibate bro @JumpingBuddha ?
You are 28 now and in India men usually marry between 28-30. So are you planning to marry anytime soon?
And, can you write a post about celibacy or brahmacharya from the books you’ve read so far. Any knowledge you got from it, which you consider valuable. Since you are a civil service aspirant and an avid reader we like to hear from you bro.
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Brother, I’m not going to lie but it saddens me a bit to see you quit preparation of civil services. I believe that by now, you’d have accumulated enough knowledge, experience and technique to qualify this exam , so much so that you can qualify it while continuing with your job simultaneously. But, thats just me. Actually I have seen almost everyone who was preparing for CSE quit it in past 6 months. At one point, even I was tempted to do the same, but instead I have decided to skip this year to attend the exam with full confidence and preparation next year. I wanna ensure that when I sit in prelims, I’m already prepared enough to qualify mains.
However, I do understand and respect your decision. When I was so depressed after missing it by few numbers in first attempt, then your situations must have been much worse. I hope that you achieve greatest of success in your new endeavours bro, and achieve your goals in life.
I hope you have a great day and a wonderful life. Personally speaking, your presence in this forum is like the greatest blessing for me. Your guidance and words always help a lot brother.
All the best.
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Thanks a tonne @Tagore brother.
I can’t express in words my gratitude to your encouragement.
I will keep trying to doing the best of my abilities.
Brahmacharya is a way of life and should ideally last for lifelong. Long way to go.
Not yet. A lot to be done- both professionally and personally.
I have tried to put some excerpts from book in my diary while I was reading. I try to answer, if there is any specific questions from companions.
Btw I will try to jot down some learning here.
Thank you once again for your time.
All the best
JumpingBuddha
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I understand and respect your opinion brother @PrDr
I think the experience and knowledge I gained during my preparation will anyhow help me to excel my goals.
In my case, there are several factors to change my mind about civil services. I weighed all the pros and cons while taking this decision, including time and cost factors. Moreover my primary goal to serve the people and society is still intact. I will fulfill it. It’s the means, which I am changing not the ends.
In my opinion, life is too big and CSE is just a small thing. It’s fine if I am not part of those 1 in million but I can be 1 in other billion.
Having said that, these factors are subjective and vary person to person. We just need to clearly know our strengths and weaknesses and play the well calculated game.
But afterall the decision should not be affected by people around us. A rational and practical decision is the way to go.
Thank you a lot for your warm wishes and those kind words. I feel so humbled.
Best Regards
JumpingBuddha
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"Learn every day, but especially from the experience of others. It’s cheaper."
- John Bogle
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And life is too short to learn all the things by one’s own experience only.
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But once we marry it’ll end right. But there is one way out. There is a book called Karezza. Its an ancient art of love making from Taoizt school of philosophy. The ancient Chinese wise men valued semen retention and they found a way of love making without ejaculation. Karezza’s literal translation is cuddling. But its much more than that. When practicing it oxytocin gets released in our Brian instead of this explosion of chemicals when we ejaculate. Marnia Robbins the wife of Gary Wilson- author of Your Brain on ■■■■ has written a book on Karezza. In that book, she talks about this practice from a neurological, scientific, philosophical and religious perspective. I think, its a book we all must read bro
@JumpingBuddha
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@JumpingBuddha Can you recommend some of the books on Brahmacharya you read during this period? Or also any good book unrelated to Brahmacharya you read during this journey which was really helpful to you?
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