Dear @Sahas,
I have already mentioned in this forum, I was a slave of *** from my college days, though I started peeking images in my school days due to curiosity and I have attempted tried breaking free many times.
Also it’s not that my journey starts only after joining this forum. I tried living a lifestyle of brahmacharya by myself and gaining knowledge and researches. My last attempt was starting Jan 1, 2020 as a new year resolutions but could continue for around 3 months only. Now I am determined with full conviction.
Although these are very absurd and redundant questions, obviously because we are in this platform…( I hope and pray that each and everybody here is liberated and free of all the addictions, so that one need not come to this platform in first place)
I have already mentioned some stories in this forum, but would like to clarify that before coming to this forum I binged ***, series, movies, prime videos etc etc. like whole day and night. Sometime continuously More than 20 hr. In peek days my YT time spent was also in similar level.
I was severely engaged in random *** chats etc etc. Did phone chats with many girls. Was in contact with two girls even after joining this forum( respectfully deleted the app after notifying them ofcourse, and they respected my decision!). Luckily most of the girls I met were clean minded and were just finding a friend for loneliness.(I find the loneliness we create for ourselves is the real cause to drift away from primary objective of our life)
Although It was my first experience with phone *** and chat *** (I regularly chatted for whole night’s), I felt the brunt of wastage of my time and talent and the associated guilt ofcourse. I did all this things knowing well, the consequences. Wasn’t it like cutting the same branch where you are sitting, moreover knowing that you will fall once you cut the branch?? I have stopped cutting that branch now. May be more plantation will follow…
Dear @Sahas, Having said that I don’t think I need to mention the specific details about the numbers you requested. I guess It’s self understood. (I am sorry but, actually I don’t want even the tracesof memory of those acts to exist in my brain any more.)
With all my actions in past I have learnt a hard lessons, especially to not decieve myself further.
I have also gained some insights about human psychology and the emotional drainage of playing with emotions- it’s a double edged sword.
अयं निजः परो वेति गणना लघु चेतसाम।
उदारचरितानाम तु वसुधैव कुटुंबकम।।
With this verse, I would like to say this whole world is a family and being respectful to half of the population is very important. Personally I can’t dare objectifying a human being anymore.
I would conclude my answer now.
Hope I answered your queries, and please excuse if any statement is off the topic.
Thanks for the patience.
Peace.
)
