I wouldn’t write this here otherwise, but I have been feeling incredibly lonely for quite some time. PMO used to be my way out of all the negative feelings of depression, lust and even loneliness. But with PMO’s death from my life, some of these feelings have begun to magnify themselves.
These days, every morning that I wake up, I don’t feel the enthusiasm to start the day anymore. As soon as I open my eyes, I feel extremely lonely and find that there’s noone around to wake me up ever. I can wake up at 5 or I can wake up at 11, nobody cares.
I know I have been here on this site talking to and advising people, but I don’t know if I’m even worthy to do that anymore. I have been unable to overcome my own problems , which although a bit different from others, are still problems. And whats worse is all of my problems are related to one another inseparably, whether trust issues, loneliness or objectification. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t give those advises to people which I haven’t successfully followed myself. But still, I can understand you if my advise doesn’t work for you. I’m not a perfect person either. Probably even more troubled than you.
Passing the days feels like a burden, this has been the reason that I haven’t been able to study in past 3 days. Not only studies, but it seems like other habits, good or bad are just as boring too. I am with books opened in front of me, but even after an hour, I’m stuck reading the same line, I am eating but I’m not aware of what I am eating anymore, movies play but I can’t find the will to look at the TV screen. Only things that I have been able to feel somewhat in past few days, is reading poetries and writing my thoughts here. These things make me feel a little better. But I don’t know how long can I continue like this. I woke up this morning and suddenly felt the extreme loneliness that I haven’t in years. I woke up over 1.5 hrs ago but I am still sitting in my bed with no will to do anything anymore.
But I’m not going to give up. I will stay in this, burn, get tortured and humiliated, but I will continue. However for that, I feel, I need sometime in complete solitude. So, I have decided to not come here for some days till I don’t feel better. I hope you guys will be able to understand me.
@debellator , @strongwillpower , @SincereDev , @vickyx , @rohankians ; brothers I am sorry, but I won’t be able to participate in your challenges anymore. The challenges of all of you guys are wonderful and brilliant for anyone trying to get out of this addiction, but I’m not in that mental state right now to continue anymore. I hope you guys will understand. My life is a mess at the moment, I can’t think straight, I’m troubled like the tides and my brain and heart is filled with impervious darkness. Sometime alone with charming solitude will probably make it better. I hope everyone here continues to fight . Take care guys.
And happy new year in advance, if I don’t return before that. I hope you record victories in achieving a clean 2021,22,23…, eternality. Theres nothing that can stop you. All the best guys.
Hey Brother! Please Please Dont Quit!
Listen. You won’t believe but Iam having the Line to Line same experience as you! I need to talk to you! Please!
Thanks for caring, brother. I’m not quitting, just taking some time off to fight this mental state.
Buddy you should join some ngo and work there for sat or Sun…
Thanks bro, I’ll try that too.
Bro it is not the case. You are not alone, we all are with you, we care, we need you on our team. Bro I really hope you feel well soon and return
You are not alone. I am with you. Are you in flatline ?
I like your comments. Dont leave.
As some before me said, you are not alone. I can see myself in that sooo much. Sometimes meditation helps, sometimes just not, because I am overwhelmed by thoughts. Excersise does not work well for me, because my mind always wonders, but I am still focusing to workout, just not for 100%. Sometimes even my hobbies are not good enough and I need to be really careful practicing them, so thats sucks.
Sometimes advices from Jordan B. Peterson help as he always mention that we should not look for happieness, but for meaning and purpose and then happienes comes to us and maybe something as relationship.
But yes, as you said I am too feeling lonely or I am missing intimacy (of some kind) or just presence of someone as nobody really cares (except family, but this is not same, at least for me). And having couples around me (friends) is not helping. But I take one advice from friend and quit FB as this makes me most sad and I am on that for almost 3 weeks. Lastly dating apps is rolercoaster for me, they make me sad (no replies, as usual), but also a bit happy as I am doing something for that.
Stay strong my friend. I hope solitude will help you, but you need to be aware that they are just thoughts, but I know it is easy to say. Make your mind together piece by piece, God knows that I am trying bit by bit, I hope we will sucseed in that: slight_smile:
Happy Christmas and new year if I (we) will not get any update from you.
Don’t quit man. I have been fapping every single day now. But I will not give up till I am cure of this. Every time I fap I get back up. Not sure if this hope is driven by falsehood. But this hope is what keeps me alive. That one day. One fine day. I will wake up and I will be free from this addiction.
Thanks brother. Sometimes, my brain is in a very bad state. I have been feeling detached from human society for quite some time now. I have deleted all the social media accounts that I had, way back in 2018. I am not even gonna touch dating apps, as I never ever get a single match , which will worsen my situation. And as you said, its easier said than done. It is indeed very difficult. Especially when everyone around you has someone with them, even guys way younger than you, but you don’t. And your mind tells you should be celibate for life, but your body keeps rejecting that idea.
Hey brother… you tagged me but sorry i was offline too for last 3-4 days… sorry for that i couldn’t check on you.
Brother… this loneliness feeling after oevaing PMO is a geniune thing… i can understand you… but all i want is (I’m not forcing you, take your time) you should take this loneliness in a positive way. This is the actual time in which addicts try to find something new in their lives… positive thing in this loneliness is that no one can disturb you… search for your passion… you like writing poetries… then continue doing that… do some research over it… find contents of millions of poets on this planet… read them… spend your good time in that… you’ll feel absolutely better… if not poetry… then find what you actually like… follow that ( like this find your charming solitude that you are searching for)
give a break to studies… because sitting in front of it and doing nothing is a complete waste… close the books keep all of them in the shelf… take your passion(or whatever you like)… work for it… and when you are over this… get back to studies… i promise your productivity after that will be awesome…
And most importantly bro… you are one of a kind… no one on this planet is like you… so stop cursing/being negative towards yourself… you are unique… you have a life… and you can do miracles in your life… and remember not all success story becomes famous… don’t hunt of that… you can do miracles in yiur own life… you can enjoy your life like no one can… no matter who knows how you lived your life… its you who will cherish your moments in your life…
Take care buddy!
Thank you very much brother. That is the most important , positive and inspirational things that I have heard, read or even thought in past few difficult days.You are right about everything bro. I am already trying to use this solitude in a better way,although it hasn’t worked so far but I hope it eventually will. Thanks once again brother.
No-one learns to ride the bicycle on Day 1… each person falls, each person fails. What keeps them going is their passion to ride the bicycle… they don’t give up easily…
No one gives up on the things that they are doing…
Like-way… Don’t give up brother… we all have got one life… one chance… we all don’t know after how many centuries our soul will get a human body again… live it… live for it…
Pleasure to help you brother.
Alright bro I’m not gonna sugar coat this or try to inspire you with motivational quotes. I’m gonna get to the point. I think you need help. I mean psychological help. Like a therapist. I spent a lot of my time researching behavioural psychology and 70 percent of my friends are psychology students and I know signs of depression when I see one. Your explanation of things show symptoms of depression, and I’m really sorry to burst your bubble like this. Try approaching a local therapist near you. Just try one session and see what they say about it. and see how you feel after the session. Lack of interest in things you used to do, not even having the will to get off of bed, experiencing loneliness at the same time not knowing how to deal with people are clear cut signs just to be clear. Please listen to me. I think you are a person with a lot of potential. Your knowledge and experience in the field of literature is exceptional. I don’t wanna see that go to waste. Get help. Atleast one session.
We are here for each other and I just wanted to say, that you are not alone in this situation. I am not trying to say that I am not happy for my friends, I really am, but it kinda make me sad, to see myself alone, but I guess it just need time and covid does not make things any easier :D.
What @strongwillpower wrote was really good. I started to emrace my loneliness and started to work on myself and I was able to do so much stuff in like 2 months, that I was mindblowned. I started to do it easier as there was always something which poped out, but even that. I was retrospectively quite happy for myself.
Regardin advice from @GOVIND-19. I am no psychiatrist, but if you have oprion, you may just take a try. I wos once and I just talked to someone and layout my view and therapist just listened and asked some Q and it quite helped. In that time. I moved my priorities since then, but then all of that maked sense. Maybe you cen check if you dont have such benefit in your work (if you are working). We have that in our company, so it was free for me, but event if we would not had such benefit, I thought that I will try one. So if you feel like it, jsut go for it, what is worst thing that could happen? NOTHING. You will not realise anything and everything will stay same, but I highly doubt about that. Just simple taking can reveal you some mind connections which were in past hidden from yout inner view 
I know bro. But I will tell you something, I have very high inhibition. In real life, I might be the most shy person you may ever meet. Its much easier for me to create an account here using a fake email id, hiding me real name, my identity and just write things that I actually feel. Real life is much different. I can hardly open up to people and rarely every talk to a stranger. I once went to a therapist when I was in Delhi, as obviously noone knew me there. But even she began to ask questions and things which I wasn’t very comfortable answering. After one visit, I knew that this therapy cannot help me. Only the mental strenth can. Nofap combined with physical training and reading has help me in gaining that mental strength. But there are some days, I should rather say some weeks , when all of this comes back and begins to haunt me. I would like to go to a good therapist here, but I’m afraid that my parents will find out about it and may get to know things which may hurt them deeply. I feel that after I get a good job, I will do that.
Life is bitch at times buddy it’s completely ok to feel low at times, try to keep the good habits rolling it’s just few bad days maybe so don’t stress on it I am sure ull bounce back up ,love your advice’s so do come back and keep us motivated with them life will always find ways to put you down but always keep moving forward this to shall pass . One knows himself in the best possible way so you know what is the best for you for now so do what feels right to you
If you like writing don’t stop that keep journaling maybe you’ll be a great writter one day come back soon we are waiting for you
Same feelings bro @koaxicek . No hard feelings for those with partners , but it kinda gets you when even kids who were born in front of your conscious eyes are having someone while you don’t. Its also funny at the same time though LOL. And yeah you were very right in taking the step to see the thrapist. I am not working atm and thats one of the things which doesn’t help either, but atleast I am trying.