Let's focus on the important stuff - accountabilty group

Hey guys and girls,

I know: there are a lot of different accountability groups on this forum already. And each one has a different approach. Some try hard mode. Some try easy mode. Some try natural mode. Some just try to stay on a high streak.
Still, they all share one aspect: people get on streaks, post their relapses and in some cases then talk about why they relapse in order to be stronger the next time they encounter an urge.

With this group, I want to try something different. Actually, I don’t want to hear on which day you are (for some we might know because of diaries and other entries on here, but alas). And I don’t want to talk about a relapse. Not that I don’t care, but there are other threads and WhatsApp or Telegram groups to do that.
On here, I actually want everyone to think what they want to do other than PMOing. It might be something specific, like learning an instrument, advancing in their job, even getting a girlfriend if that is what you are after. Nobody will judge on your personal goals here. It might be something abstract or undefined like “getting more healthy” or “being happy more often”.
Then, let’s keep each other accountable on those things. Do small updates what you did to get there, if you made any progress towards your goal, even if it may be boring or not seem like something big at all.
Tell us you took a walk and what you saw while walking.
Tell us you wrote two pages of an upcoming paper for your studies.
Tell us you meditated for twenty minutes.
Tell us what made you feel good today :slight_smile:
Just focus on the positive things, on what is good in your life - or getting better, slowly, but steadily.

I believe that this will help. I believe that some people might be surprised that a relapse doesn’t equal a complete loss anymore :slight_smile:

So, who’s in?

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I go for jogging non stop 30 minutes. That makes me sleep early in night and I find easy to manage urge and when I surf internet when I get bore then I search for sport videos. I don’t use any child lock to browser.

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This is an awesome idea!!
what is your goal amadeus?

  • I wanna have a bit time every day to read books. maybe 30min each day. currently I don’t have time either due to porn or YouTube / twitch.
  • In spring I would love to go out biking 2 or 3 times a week (so this goal will have to wait some more months)
  • Only do things when I make a concious decision
  • Stretching and self reflection every evening
  • keeping my room tidy (at least a bit more than it is now :sweat_smile:)
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I have different goals or changes I want in my life right now.

  • First and foremost, to get some structure into my daily routine. To wake up between 7 and 8 am, take my time to start the day without actually wasting time. Being active during the day. Taking my time to rest in the evening and doing nothing, reading, taking care of my flat etc. I just need more time to do “nothing” without keeping myself from other stuff, if you know what I mean.

  • Only do things when I make a concious decision. This is mainly due to my heavy use of my Laptop, smartphone or the internet in general. So I will only turn them on and use them when there is a specific reason, and after I finish doing that I step away from it again

  • Spend some time outside just walking or clearing my mind every day

  • Writing. I write short stories and other prose, and I believe that daily writing will improve my style drastically. Also, it just makes me content somehow (as you can see in my diary :smiley: )

  • Workout. Currently on a 4 week plan, first week done already!

  • Playing the piano every day

  • Taking half an hour to read before going to sleep

Those are a lot of things, I realize that. In the end, I just want to obtain that feeling of content that I had 5 years ago when I was clean and in charge of my life for the first time. It’s not so much about what exactly I do, and those things might change over time, but those were the things I did back then, and they are where I start now and see where it gets me :slight_smile:

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How do you do that? I tried that sooo often. But I always end up doing things I don’t want do. I tried to judge every time before I start an activity if I really wanna do that or if I would do that too if someone was watching what I’m doing with my spare time. But I was never able to make it work for more than 2, or so, days
(I will steal this idea from you and add it to my list :relaxed: )

I want to do these things in 2018 :

  • Quitting sleeping medication.
  • Completing 90 Day Reboot no pmo
  • Going for Running outside morning and evening.
  • Doing excercises 2-3 times in evening.
  • Study for job exams daily.
    And finally
  • Getting a Job
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I don’t really know. I think I’m a person with a high sense of self-reflection, which makes it quite easy for me to know when I’m doing something which I don’t really want that moment.
But the borders are somehow fluent, of course things might slip under the radar once in a while. It’s not something you can do until perfection, just something to aspire to do I guess :slight_smile:

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@amadeus, brilliant topic. You are inspired, man!

“That’s how we’re gonna win. Not fighting what we hate, saving what we love", to borrow someone else’s words :slight_smile:

Channel our energy into the things we care most about is the only way to overcome what we want to get rid of. And for me, that is:

  • Work 8 hours a day on my PhD research and related studies;

  • Study music;

  • Exercise twice a week

  • Become the better version of myself ever

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Great Initiative. To focus on creating something other than abstaining.

Well, I want to be a Deputy Collector. And I want to study and crack the exam to get this job.

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Before Going to bed, I will post the number of study hours I did to achieve my goal. I will do it everyday without fail. It will encourage me to work hard and not waste time on YouTube and Sports etc.

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That’s exactly what this group is for. At the end of your day, reflect on what you did, and what positive thoughts come to mind about that day. Writing them down here helps if you need the motivation to do so :+1:

I think I will also write them on my Todo list to have them visible. It also makes the Todo list a bit more of a positive thing. Less of a list of Chores

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So I studied for 2 hours today. I know it is very poor and I will surely increase it next day.

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Brilliant, this is a very nice idea.
So instead of PMOing (for now) I do nothing but play on my computer or staying at bed most of the day (I don’t know how I’m not super fat or almost dead but it’s fine by now), and sometimes (like twice a week) I hang out with my friends.
But I want to waste all that “doing nothing” time in:

1. Biking with my friends (I’m getting a bike soon enough)

2. Going to the gym with my brothers (an initiative we had a few months back)

Both of these are related to my health, because when I turn 18 I want to join the Chilean Air Force and I need a good physique of course.

3. (This one is optional but still quite acceptable for me) Either try to talk again to a girl I was dating a few months back and things got bad (need balls for this) or clearing my mind from her for once and for all and finding another girl.

4. Studying a lot this year because that’s how it is supposed to be.

Hope everyone here succeed in whatever are your endeavors for this year!
Keep strong and focused!

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@pipe_shrk great that you joined! Wish you all the best with pursuing those goals this year :slight_smile:

Quick update on my behalf, yesterday was pretty good for me. I woke up early even after going out the day before, doing some urgent phone calls in the morning, then going to indoor-climbing with some friends, and doing my workout-routine after that! My body hurts like hell, but I think I never slept better after that :smiley:

Good idea.

My ways of avoiding PMO:
-Write my novel or stories.
-Yoga.
-Reading.
-Cleaning the house.
-Posting in this forum.

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how is everyone doing with his goals?

In my case it doesn’t look too bad.

  • My room is pretty tidy.
  • I read at 2 of the last 4 days. Which is already pretty good! (haven’t had time to read in 4 months :open_mouth:)
  • I still struggle with focusing on one thing. But its getting better

Short update:

  • Although my streak is currently paved with relapses, I keep up my workout routine. Day 13 complete!

  • Wrote some stuff in my personal diary, which is a start and hopefully will eventually lead to working on my short stories again

  • I cut down the use of my smartphone a lot, only checking it 3 to 4 times a day right now. Can’t say the same about my laptop, but this will hopefully be next

  • Went to a bar last night to enjoy a glass of whisky and got in contact with the owner and a few locals, we spend at least 6 hours there, talked and laughed a lot, it was so good to just be there, you know? Plus, I got a job offer by the owner, which means I really made a good impression (which would never have been the case a few weeks and months back)

Hope you guys had some positive experiences today as well!

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Hey guys, how is everyone doing? Tell me some positive experiences you made, something that lifted your mood in the past days :slight_smile:

Started doing excercise and studying. It brings some relief.

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