As @Binocular put it, this is philosophy. Some real gems of wisdom here, I’ve bookmarked them to return to.
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Tues 13th Feb
Check-in Day 7
This whole wanting thing though…
Doesn’t wanting 365 Days only make it seem like a task?
Why are we setting ourselves up for a struggle?
If you actually ‘wanted’; A time frame would be irrelevant. You’d meet that goal immediately.
Writing it down, and taking that inspiration from another user here, is what’s helping me get my head around it.
Didn’t we join NoFap because at some point in our lives we said “I’ve got to stop this shit”
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We want light and dark moments, we want to cry about something and smile about another.
Struggles build us and make us more humble and strong - but it doesn’t have to be Fap/NoFap
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So you’re wondering about how to maintain your streak…
100,000’s images in your head, isn’t enough reason?
You don’t need to battle with reason.
At some point in your life you ended up on a NoFap forum because you finally said to yourself “I’ve gotta stop this shit”
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Wed 14th Feb
Check-in Day 8
You don’t have triggers because you know they are anything erotic.
And Anything erotic is in the fapping category.
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Thurs 15th Feb
Check-in Day 9
For all intents and purposes:
Anything erotic is “Fap”
You know exactly what you’re doing.
Don’t use reasons to Fap, and excuse it as part of the Grand Journey.
If recovery is about the distance we can go, how can we ever be healed?
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We’ve normalised Fap so much into the fabrics of our lives that, of course, NoFap seems like a challenge. And uphill struggle to break free.
“You are a salmon swimming against the tides of a corrupt world”
You don’t have to think about it like that…
Yes, you will be better for stopping - but it’s solely upto you how to define things from now on and what you consider normal.
NoFap is so much easier, way much easier when you stop seeing it as a challenge, and have a straightforward attitude.
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, You don’t have triggers because you know they are anything erotic, and anything erotic is considered ‘Fap’ (or anti-NoFap)
We shouldn’t need to talk about social media, but lump ALL of that in the fap pile.
The other excuses “stressed/tired/lonely” are all valid reasons, but one of the places where you normalise The Fap.
NoFap is not a challenge. It’s like wearing new shoes. Or something to that degree.
Comfortable, easy, desirable, part of everyday life, normal, not a big deal nor the most important thing in life, but good for your walking.
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Sat 17th Feb
Check-in Day 11
NoFap seems like an uphill struggle, because when things get a little tough your default reaction is to find comfort and Fap.
Because you believe The Fap is normal, NoFap feels like quitting your little piece of heaven.
“but everyone else does it, so why can’t I?”
You can, nobody is stopping you.
You are the one who came here, Or did someone force you against your will?
My bet is, you came here out of your own free will, because you decided enough is enough.
NoFap is difficult because;
You see it as a challenge.
Fap is your norm.
Your idea of freedom depends on your streak.
You think, “if I only get X amounts of Days on my streak, then I will be rewarded, and get hot chicks”
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Genuine question. Do you write all this yourself or you take Ideas from any books?
Obviously I’ve read and watched things, so I would’ve picked up many ideas, but I’m just writing what I’m thinking or working out thoughts.
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Don’t be distracted.
NoFap is easy. Why?
Because You, and You alone, one day said;
“I’m getting sick of this”
It’s that simple.
“Oh, no, but I need to do challenges, I need to study, I need to read, I need to exercise, I need to think positive, I need to combat urges, I need to understand triggers, I need blockers, I need to be accountable, I need to get good rest…”
And this shit just piles up. All reasons why you don’t “feel” ready.
Like @Forerunner says, The adversary is real and will challenge you.
The adversary will always be giving us excuses, and confusing us.
NoFap is not difficult. It is easy. The moment you said “I’ve had enough” was your baptism.
You are saved already. You just don’t realise it.
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Each moment you check out a girl, or touch yourself, is a lapse. If only you took it as seriously as when you relapse or reset your streak.
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I love this. Absolutely true.
We come up with all sorts of reasons and justifications on why we can’t stop doing PMO right now. I need to get my sleep schedule in order, I need to change my diet, I need to read 15 books on addiction and watch 1000 videos, start meditating and taking cold showers regularly. All of these obstacles are really just the adversary giving us more excuses to go back to PMO. If it takes this much discipline and resolve to stop, well that’s going to take ages, and PMO is only a mouse click away. I’m quitting forever, right? So what’s the harm in another session before I really start to take things seriously?
All we need in order to stop, is to remember that we started this journey in the first place because we’d had enough, and to stick to it. It’s not doing something. We don’t have to do anything to not do something. No pornography or masturbation, and we have won. That’s it. It’s finished.
The voice of the adversary appears all over in our lives and we ignore it with ease, yet this area we pretend that it has power over us. The voice will tell me to steal something from the grocery store when no one is looking, to fling myself from a high building, to kick a cat that’s passing in the street, to grope an attractive woman on public transport, and such intrusive thoughts are barely a nuisance. But when it suggests I check out a frequented pornographic website, I start to sweat. Like the saying goes, the devil can’t tempt you with what you don’t want. We have to remember that we’re here because we truly didn’t want PMO anymore, and that’s the decision we want to stick to.
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I often see NoFap getting complex.
But it’s extremely simple and light weight.
The adversary’s job is to question, so it’s more a question of, “about what(?) do we allow him to do his job?”
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Sun 18th Feb
Check-in Day 12
Fap is on a spectrum - but Fap is always Fap.
Get real with yourself; Fappish-stuff is Fap.
If you wanna quit, rewire or heal, then anything Fap-like is Fap.
It wants you to fight with it because it’s a never ending battle.
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Mon 19th Feb
Check-in Day 13
You get angry, you sometimes don’t have your shit together. You can be spontaneous, and feel emotions. But fapping; that takes effort and conscious choice.
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Fapping can definitely do that.
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The Fap always takes conscious effort, and has a lot of doing involved.
Emotions; sometimes we get down, or snap at people, or tire from a conversation. Emotions can be spontaneous and sometimes out of our control.
But choosing to fap is You in control.
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Hi @lets_begin do you mind people knowing your name? Guess not
I haven’t been doing well, my long streak well and truly over, commitment wavered but I’m ready to start again.
How did I get my 38 day streak? (for what that is worth it was real progress for me)
Checking in daily on another app was a key part of that success but specifically I followed a journalling technique that Mark Queppet details:
Retroactive and preemptive journalling. There id also responsive journalling which is self talk also v important but I haven’t practised that very much.
The preemptives were key, every day noting where I was likely to be tempted and how I would respond.
Eg tonight I might be tempted at the pc, when I am I will take a break, go on the self mastery app and read other people’s journals, look at my anchor (nofap) vision again, write a bit myself then if I keep getting tempted I’ll shut it down and take a break. That would be just One example
That really helped me get a decent streak going
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Tues 20th Feb
Check-in Day 14
To Fap requires you to do something,
choices appear and different pathways emerge.
We made the journey, and now in those moments, that voice will always say “Let’s not. You don’t have to, you know. You’ll feel a lot better later. You know its not good”
I’m always given free choice over what I can do.
NoFap feels so much easier in just letting things go
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