"Let's Begin" diary (rantings toward liberation)

Journal
104

Wed 7th Feb
Check-in Day 1

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105

Thurs 8th Feb
Check-in Day 2

Don’t overthink

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106

Fri 9th Feb
Check-in Day 3

(insert simple self-motivating wisdom here)

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107

What to say? How to rouse myself?

108

Sat 10th Feb
Check-in Day 4

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109

How does ‘a bit of’ pmo damage me?

Firstly, if it were about balance, is it balanced?
Am I balanced?

In the days before the Internet, the anonymously, affordability and availability of p did not exist, though my sexual compulsion did.

Societal forces kept the balance, which has now vanished. So this idea of balance can only come from myself.

I have not been balanced since the Internet.
If I were one of my friends, I may be in a stable relationship, with multiple jobs, and may mess around and have a bit of fun now and then, and it might not be debilitating like it would for a lonely person - but I am not my friends.
I have made time and space for pmo.
I am not balanced.

Secondly, pmo is damaging to my brain, my dopamine, my neural pathways, my highs and my lows. What I want to do, my desires, dreams, hopes, goals.

Thirdly, it’s not only damaging to me, but with the 2nd, it breaks my trust, and reliability to others, co-workers, friends, relationships. The ability to genuinely put others first.

Fourth. The big obvious one that doesn’t ever really get talked about with any real care or consideration - ALL the people creating the content. “yeah, but it’s their choice”
Some people choose terrible things for themselves, just look at us.
The creators are still human, they are still our brothers & sisters in God (Our Father)
Have pity on them, just as we do ourselves.

It is “us” ourselves who give value and worth to p.o.r.n. We are the ones who make it create wealth.
We give it value where creators can make a financial profit and live how they choose.

We use them and they use us. It’s a never ending cycle, with no laws that prevent us.
The public gets what the public wants.
Without a true law giver (God)…laws are eroding, and subject to society’s opinions.
Society has become vain, overly consuming, and the youth much dumber by the day.

Wtf is Snapchat? Bigo? Why do people use tiktok? What’s the point of Instagram?
All this shit never existed until recently.
People don’t read books anymore.
A person can search the Internet, read a few Wikipedia articles and make a scientific claim without any studious effort, or thorough reading. It’s not like my dear friend who read books and books about viruses and cells, who has a genuine understanding of how things work.
Pop-science, Scientism and removing God has left us, heartless and stupid.

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110

Powerful reflection, brother. Am I balanced? A great question.

Absolutely right, without us as the viewers and paying customers, the actors and actresses wouldn’t be making those pornographic movies. Some people choose terrible things for themselves, wow, that’s apt.

May God restore our compassion towards those suffering like us, and our intelligence to make better decisions. If all heads bow before Ba’al, let us be set apart.

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111

Thank you bro :+1:
Your personal post got me thinking about “who am I hurting?”
There’s so much we don’t even consider or realise, the dumb answer would be “I’m not hurting anyone” and “everyone else does it”

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112

By hurting ourselves, we hurt those who care about us. We have a duty to look after ourselves as the object of others’ love and affection.

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113

Yes. And do we return the favour? Do we rise to the occasion to love others more than seek for ourselves?
With the right frame of mind, these can be uplifting questions

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114

Why did I join this place?

I know exactly: Rewire. Neural pathways. The science. To put it into practice.

Extra things, like, exercise, music, studying, reading, walking, nature, helping others are all great things, and benefit us.

They are great things in themselves - and also good for the mind/brain, good for our bodies, for our spirit, and good for others for what we do for them, in our willingness towards them, and in our example of what is good.

Doing these extra things is a good idea, Fap or NoFap.
They can distract us from Fap, and give us balance and edge we need to beat Fap.

BUT… NoFap is NoFap… It isn’t doing extra stuff. It’s a not doing.

We don’t need to beat Fap, but make the conscious choice - “I don’t Fap - I made the choice when I joined others in this community, based upon all the same reasons. We all wish to stop it”

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115

I agree with this so much.

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116

NoFap should be the same as brushing your teeth.

We don’t let our teeth get dirty, just as we don’t let ourselves get dirty.

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117

What is The One Rule to No-Fap?

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118

Mon 12th Feb
Check-in Day 6

To me, myself and I ~

If NoFap is still an ideal or target, has anything changed?
Is NoFap just a label and excuse to carry on with the same habit?

“one day, one day, just not right now”

You still struggle, because you still think it’s good for you, or an uphill struggle of learning, gaining wisdom.

Come on, let’s face it,
“oh I accidentally started staring at a woman’s xxx” is bs. And we know it.

We know what’s good and what is not, forget about “triggers” as if we are stupid and need to “learn”

We’re just labelling to avoid the truth, that we don’t really want to stop, because “I need it” and really after all the experience and wisdom, we’re still just sitting on the fence about it,
as if “I couldn’t help it.”
You knew exactly what you were doing, and only have yourself to blame.

It’s all great to make plans and goals, but is it not just perpetuating the problem by softening and avoiding the truth?

NoFap isn’t about doing something or growth, but simply, just not fapping (and all that it entails) - don’t make concessions, ‘*Fapping’ is a choice.
(*fapping : looking/doing anything erotic)

NoFap is only a choice (nothing big) but like washing your face. It isn’t complicated.
Detach yourself.
NoFap is easy.

You shouldn’t need blockers, and feel the need to struggle uphill against something, or attach life to it.
Don’t waste your life on a NoFap/Fap pendulum, swinging between ideals.

Make NoFap just a simple habit, and how you do things. You wash, brush your teeth, put on aftershave, and don’t fap. You know what’s right & wrong, and aren’t fazed. You get it. You don’t need it explaining, but only realise, it’s just a simple choice - and isn’t gonna make your life better or worse.
NoFap is simply a detachment from Fap.
Nothing glorious. Not a battle to win.
But jumping off that fence.

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119

NoFap isn’t the light at the end of the tunnel, but…
coming out of that tunnel.

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120

All extraneous stuff isn’t NoFap.
Hopes of finally getting to a certain point is irrelevant. You’ve got to realise they’re all excuses.

“Man, I want to get to 365 days” :grimacing:

Great! Of course. Don’t we all? But the problem lies within that ‘wanting’

:no_mouth: “Haven’t you made your choice yet?”

“NoFap is a process” :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

:thinking: “Process is just another way of saying you aren’t ready, and you enjoy the struggle”

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121

Wanting to be free is a good thing, we should search it, but a point comes when you realise you always had the choice.

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122

All your posts are fantastic. I do read your posts on everyday basis. I do sense maturity in your words. Keep going big brother.

Not sure u know me , remember you joining Zodiac sign Challenge when you start using the forum ? I was the one running that challenge :slightly_smiling_face:

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123

Thank you dude.
Yes, I remember the challenge, but I joined the forum earlier, and been here for 5 years already.

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