Ki11 diary of nofap

Day 80
Aint gonna lie from the lets say from 70 -80 day it was was the hardest part of this journey
I was at an extremely bad place mentally , very depressed sad lonely angry anxious etc etc
I ralized i cant laugh at things as much as i used to …i really need to change my bum life xD
I am still sick so i cant train and go anywhere to much so the cause for my depression and other symptoms is not only porn and masturbation atm …
But i think i am getting more and more motivated despite all the negative feelings

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Keep going brother!:raised_hands::+1: you are doing too good! Take care of your health​:gift_heart:

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Thank you bro :smiley: :slight_smile: :heart_eyes:

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Day 91
I just completed 90 days…i am having depression occasionaly .i am starting to feel a bit more confident.i got out a few times played football went to watching matches with friends…and i can train again…finally i think i recovered almost from the sickness that i had for 78 days lol.To get to 90 days was kinda easier than expected…i didnt have to many urges during those 90 days…I had i think 5 streaks bigger than the current one…but i aint gonna lie…i never felt more annoyed about being on only the day 90…now i feel like 90 is nothing and thats kinda good cos it gives me motivation to push harder.until i am satisfied…i cant let my guard down now .I can still feel my brain trying to rewire…Now i really almost dont care if i get a girlfriend…and i now know that i am still not ready to have her.I have a few problems with talking to people atm but not to many.I am more confiednt and i care a bit less how people percieve me .so the past 286 days i watched porn for only 3 days…in those days i relapsed exactly 12 times…i think i am mentally probably more like on day 166 and not on day 90 .
May god protect me from the devil that is porn .
Good luck in this journey if you have read this :slight_smile:

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Day 98
I had today a dream about watching porn .
I had extreme urges the whole morning to peek a bit on porn but i said to myself i cant let that sequence to happen again of peeking and then losing my streak.i worked hard the past 98 days and no way i am gonna be weaker than a addiction.

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Great bro ur journey is inspiring :+1::+1::+1:

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Thank you for your kind words bro :slight_smile: :smiley:

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Day 100 :slight_smile:
So today is my 100 day… i am now halfway through my goal…100 days left till 200 day…so there were ups and downs…i was sick for almost 80 days from like my day 10 to 90 days of no fap…i am still having some of the symptoms…but i can now train and go a bit out…depression is strong since day 70 to this day…today even tought a day 100 is a big deal atleast for me…i woke up extremely anxious and depressed…i just dont feel liked or loved.i also dreamed of porn today like 3 days ago …was it hard to get to day 100 …well yes and no…i didnt have that many urges …except the past 4 days…i feel my brain rewiring itself still…i still dont think that i am ready to love anyone…kinda feel empty not gonna lie…i realized depression is probably the main cause of my relapses followed by anger…women are the third but they lead me to it…lets say depression is the first domino that falls anger is the second and women are the final domino …ofc there are instances where the main reason are women.

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The porn addiction is like an unbreakable cycle your addiction causes sadness and other symptoms
Your symptoms cause you not to be loved not being loved causes relapses
Your relapses cause those symptoms…until you put something between it there is not stopping it…just ask yourself how many times you told yourself 1 more day in your nofap journey…how many times that word became meaningless .dont start it tomorrow because you never know what can happen tomorrow
Maybe you were supposed to meet the love of your life the next day.maybe you would get the job of your dreams the next day but you didnt cos you felt miserable that day because of you constantly moving the date of rehabilitation.start today and never stop again

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Day 110
So today i have been feeling ok in the morning now i am getting sad how my life looks.i am probably gonna search for some psychologist so i can cope with other parts of my life and improve it .
Anyways regarding the nofap.i have wathed porn or masturbated only for 3 days the past 305 days.i have noticed my mentality changing significantly…i dont want to have atm a gf most of the time…just have friends and later when i have a bit stability in my life a gf,on the smaller days i was really needy of having one gf…now i am not at all and i realise that i am not ready to have one…now the big one regarding my traiing usually i never push hard in cardio exercises…but as the days are growing…i literally want to push my body more and more…i actually start liking to be sore more and more and be better day by day and thats really good .regarding the brain fog …i am still foggy not cos of the addiction but cos i am still a bit sick but i can feel my mind getting clearer

Day 113
So i just wanna say i have been extremel, confident the past 2 -3 days i dont know why
Hope it will last a little bit longer :smiley: