Kanu's Diary..šŸ”„[19M]

MARCH 7

Helloo people :wave: ā€¦Namaste:pray:ā€¦ :triangular_flag_on_post:Jai Shree Ram :fire: ā€¦okay story cut short ā€¦I am a neet aspirant ā€¦got 540 marks in my first attempt in neet 2020 ā€¦ couldnā€™t make it to govt. medical College :pensive:. I was getting pvt College at scholarship but thought to give one more tryā€¦ about the addiction i became addicted to it ,i think oct-nov 2019 but thank god soon i realised it is bad so i did some research and found from ranveer show about nofap :grinning: and later found this community. I think i could have got more marks in neet if i was not addicted to this shit . It wasted my a lot of time, a lot ā€¦ otherwise i could have been in a medical college right now :pensive:. Alright past went , coming to the present my studies are going good but not that with efficiency and productivity it should goā€¦i donā€™t know why but i am wasting a lot of my time on YouTube ā€¦i dont want to but it eventually happensā€¦ can anyone here just guide me or give some tips to control my youtube usage ā€¦:fire:and very reason I am starting writing daily diary so that I can be accountable to you people ā€¦

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March 8

Not a very good day ā€¦f*cking relapsed 2 times in a single dayā€¦gave first mock test after neet , got 410 marksā€¦not at all good ā€¦made very silly mistakesā€¦even after knowing the correct answer filled wrong option :man_facepalming:t2: donā€™t know what the hell is happening with meā€¦
Now again starting with 0šŸ˜” but with the determination that I am not gonna give up this time to this and study hard instead of wasting timeā€¦if you can give me some words of wisdom o then pleasešŸ™ reply ā€¦i am in real need of some good advice .

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Hey @kanu, sorry youā€™re having a hard time, I do have a few words of wisdom that Iā€™ve collected over the years if youā€™ll listen
One thing that I think would help is getting into good healthy habits. For instance, going to bed before midnight, waking up between 5-6 (depending on when you go to be) working out consistently, eating 3 healthy meals a day at reasonable times, reading consistently, and so on. One thing youā€™ll find is that itā€™s much easier to stop useless activities (such as binging YouTube and social media) is by filling the time with more useful activities
Another thing that helps is taking some time to find yourself. This doesnā€™t need to be some big spiritual journey or anything, but rather just take some time, maybe only 10 minutes, and find a quiet room or space, sit down, close your eyes, and truly ask yourself where you want to go. In order for this to work you need to be able to look past your bodyā€™s carnal desires for sex, money, etc., and find out where you want to go. For you it would probably be something along the lines of getting into your college of choice, but try to go deeper. Once you have that thing, keep it in the back of your mind whenever you can. If youā€™re scrolling down YouTube and suddenly think, is this gonna help me get to where I want to go? And if the answer is no, then try switching to something else.
The last thing that I think I can offer is learning how to make deals with yourself. If you havenā€™t noticed (but Iā€™m guessing you have), thereā€™s a big difference between what your mind wants to do, and what you actually do. Saying ā€œIā€™m not gonna masterbate todayā€ does not mean your body wonā€™t masterbate. So, to counter this, you need to learn to make good deals with yourself. You are neither a dictator, nor a slave to your own body. So, whenever you do something good, like do a good hour of studying, reward yourself. This tells your body that what it did was good, and that doing it again would be good. Youā€™d reward depends a lot on your taste. If you like cookies, maybe have a few cookies and milk. Try not to fall to temptation and eat 2 packs of cookies because youā€™re proud of yourself for a little studying. Do good work, and reward yourself appropriately. Avoid rewards that could be harmful or addicting (such as drugs, alcohol, porn, masterbation etc.). As time goes on, try to slowly give yourself less reward for more work. Like when youā€™re training a dog. Maybe he gets a treat whenever he letā€™s you pet him, but if you keep giving him treats whenever he letā€™s you pet him, you wonā€™t be able to teach him to do tricks or go to the bathroom outside because he will just want trwats for petting. It takes some time to get used to it but constantly be asking yourself if what you worked on deserves a reward and how much. Also ask yourself if what youā€™re doing is deserved (like whenever youā€™re watching YouTube, you can ask and see that you donā€™t deserve the time youā€™re spending)
I know that was a bit long but hopefully it helps. There are a lot of good books out there for further detail into these kinds of things and I can recommend a few if you like.
Anyway, best of luck, keep moving forward
Stay strong brother

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Thanks bro @MassterBrewer12 for your great advice ā€¦ you showed me a new path manā€¦i will surely implement what you told and tell me about the books ,will try to read them afterwards as of now i am preparing for my medical examā€¦again thanks a lot buddyā€¦:fire::pray:

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Hi dear @kanu,

All the very best for your preparation.

Try to control your emotions. Try to be balanced.
For example, if you get lower than expected marks in mocks, donā€™t get disheartened. Be calm and composed. Patiently analyse the mistakes you committed and make a compact strategy to overcome those mistakes. On the other hand if you get closer to expected marks donā€™t get overwhelmed. Be modest and Just keep trying to do better.

Have faith on your preparation and keep your eyes on goal until you achieve it.

Regards
JumpingBuddha

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Thanks @JumpingBuddha bro for your wordsā€¦i will surely control my emotions about the marks and i am also rectifying my mistakes, where i went wrong in the questionā€¦ thanks man again for your adviceā€¦:fire:

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MARCH 9

Today was a great dayā€¦A PERFECT STARTā€¦I completed all my task ā€¦ ,did meditation , also exercised and most important reduced my youtube usage ā€¦feeling very happy. :sweat_smile::fire: Thanks @MassterBrewer12 again :sweat_smile: ur advice really helped meā€¦

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Iā€™m glad youā€™re doing well. Keep up the hard work.
Weā€™re all here for you on the forum in your bad times but also to congratulate you on your success. Hope to see where you go from here
Stay strong brother

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MARCH 10

Another good day, although i couldnā€™t revise 1 chapter ā€¦rest all things went wellā€¦ did meditation, exercise, had good study sessionsā€¦the thing which I realised today is that more and more I keep myself busy , I have less urges and thoughts about pmoā€¦i will try to break and get away from my comfort zone and to keep myself busy as much as possible with some productive tasksā€¦:fire:

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MARCH 11

A very good day ā€¦managed to study 8-9 hrs. , did meditation, exercise , also kept fast as it was mahashivratri . Couldnā€™t stay awake the whole night as papa didnā€™t allowed otherwise i was thinking to study whole night ā€¦very tired , going to sleepšŸ˜“ā€¦

:om::fire:Jai Mahakal :fire::om:

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MARCH 12

Although not as much as yesterday , today I did 6-6.5 hrs study , did meditation , exercise , didnā€™t used YouTube for longā€¦neet dates released 1 August ā€¦about four and half months remaining ā€¦will put all the possible efforts and break the comfort zone to achieve my goalā€¦:fire:

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MARCH 13

Not a very productive day ā€¦managed to do 6 hrs study only, watched youtube videos for 3 hrs :grimacing::man_facepalming:t2:ā€¦whole day schedule got disturbed but still did exercise , meditation and completed 3 of the 4 chapters I thought I will complete todayā€¦ strangely i was watching videos about how a boy transforms after rejection/breakup even though till date i am still single.:joy::joy: #sakht_launda

Only 140 days remaining for neet ā€¦ I should study rather than wasting time on these videošŸ˜‚

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Itā€™s ok dude. Donā€™t beat yourself up too much over a bad day. Always compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not who someone else is today. If youā€™re being more productive than you were last week, last month, or last year youā€™re still doing great. Remember we all have bad days and strive to make your bad day the best bad day you can.

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Bro, sorry but can u explain what u mean by thisā€¦i didnā€™t get it?? :sweat_smile:

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Basically yeah, itā€™s a bad day, they happen. Try to make it as good of a day as you can, despite it being a bad one.

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Got it bro :+1:ā€¦will remember this :slightly_smiling_face::fire::fire:

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MARCH 14

Not at all a good dayā€¦my streak was going good but today i relapsed ā€¦ the illusion of one peek lead me to this , ā€¦i was feeling so much happy and energetic but all gone in vainā€¦I have to again start from zero ā€¦ feeling very sad that i couldnā€™t even cross 10 day remark ā€¦I downloaded telegram for studies but my recent relapses happened due to it onlyā€¦i always stay in the illusion that one peek wonā€™t hurt BUT not anymore ā€¦i will not open that bloody channels on telegram ā€¦can you suggest something to help me so that I donā€™t fall for this trap againā€¦This time I have to break my highest streak and continue itā€¦one more thing I think as i had less work for me this lead me to relapse so from now I will keep myself as busy I can until my exam :fire::fire:

Edit: I again relapsed ā€¦:sob::sob:i just donā€™t know ā€¦how much low motivation I have that I couldnā€™t even keep ul to my words ā€¦I am feeling very miserable and scared also ā€¦guyzz @MassterBrewer12 @nofapstar123 @GOVIND-19 @JumpingBuddha @The_integrous_one @Luffy @Tagore @tanmay_ck @anon41607238 @Pudgy
I need your help :disappointed_relieved:ā€¦plzz give me some strong words that can directly hit me so that after this I do not fall for this shit again no matter whatā€¦:fire:

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@ayushbantaiji @anon60348276 @AmanJain @sandey @debellator @drago @PrDr @_TIGER u guyzz also plz guide meā€¦i am fed up with this shitā€¦:disappointed_relieved:

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Bro, it happens. You cannot learn without failures. Everyone here has been through that. Many people here have fallen to day 0 from very high streaks because of that just one ā€œpeekā€. I am one of them.
Youā€™ll have to understand that it has already happened and it cannot be changed. Focus on how can you control this now, because this is the time when youā€™re gonna be most vulnerable to relapse cycle. Once you overcone these few days, then design your plan and work accordingly.
Greatest of streaks began from day 0, this one is going to be yours.

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Thnx @PrDr for your words ā€¦I will definitely be more cautious the next dew daysā€¦

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