So i just created a Journal and i swear to God that i will be punctual in doing this as best i can(valid reasons for absence are exempted)
So I just got the idea of Challenging Myself. And experiencing that Brahmachari Life once again. That was the most peaceful time of my life. There is a point system i introduced and will reward myself with points when each task is done.
Points system - (+2 if done, -1 if not)
• Waking up at 4-5
• Meditation for 10 min
• Exercise/Yoga for 15-20 minutes
• Chant Hari naam for 1 rounds atleast.
• Study for 6 hours
• Bath twice a day
• No sexual thoughts for more than a few seconds (each thought = (-1)
• No PMO
• social media less than 1 hour
• Phone usage under 3 hours
• Dont get angry. Be calm.
• No Abuses
• Only Classical Music and Bhakti songs allowed.
Note - productivity apps/usage is not included.
Uninstalled all unnecessary apps and games. (20 GB material) was that. And thats kinda relaxing to take this step.
So there were countless Relapses of me till date. But now I am a different guy. And there be no Entries in my Relapse list.
And I will make it happen. I promise this to myself, My mom, My girl, and most imp. To the Supreme Godhead Shri Krishna.
Do at your pace. Its just I am reliving my Brahmachari Life again. So it will be only hard work all the day with minimal rest and super productivity. Hare krsna.
Waking up at 4-5. ||
• Meditation for 10 min ||
• Exercise/Yoga for 15-20 minutes✅
• Chant Hari naam for 16 rounds atleast.
• Study for 12 hours✅
• Bath twice a day❌
• No sexual thoughts for more than a few seconds (each thought = (-1)
• No PMO✅
• No Social Media, YT❌
• Phone usage under 3 hours❌
• Dont get angry. Be calm.
• No Abuses:x:
• Only Classical Music and Bhakti songs allowed.
1+1+1-1+1-1+1+1-1-1-1-4+1= (-2)
Total -2 points for the 1st Day…
Taget for 2nd Day will be to Make Total Positive Points atleast.
So I procrastinated a lot today…I wasted a lot time on YT and Rewire. I need to check on that tommorow.
Had many small Urges but overall it’s OK.
Hare Krsna. Please give me the strength to pursue Brahmacharya with full power.
Waking up at 4-5
• Meditation for 10 min❌
• Exercise/Yoga for 15-20 minutes❌
• Chant Hari naam for 16 rounds atleast.
• Study for 12 hours❌
• Bath twice a day❌
• No sexual thoughts for more than a few seconds (each thought = (-1)
• No PMO❌
• No Social Media, YT❌
• Phone usage under 3 hours❌
• Dont get angry. Be calm.
• No Abuses:x:
• Only Classical Music and Bhakti songs allowed.
Total points = (-17)
Need some real inner motivation. Need to evaluate myself.
I need to understand. Its a War with my struggles. Its either I will slay them else they will slay me.
I can beat all these obstacles. I am the children of Maharishi Bhradwaj and Veer Dronacharya Ji. That Dronacharya ji who was almost impossible to be killed. He got killed by his own choice. I cant let them down. I have a responsibility of not drowning their name. I will not lose.
"जो तुझसे लिपटी बेड़ियाँ
बना ले इनको शस्त्र तू "
Remember
“Hard Times creates Strong Man”
I am such a disgrace to this human. I fucking wanna die. I am failing daily. I wish I could end my life but it’s impossible for me. And the funny part is I won’t do it because my Lord forbids me to do it. But he also forbids me to think abt women of others. And I fucking do it. I claim that I love my girl so much. I lie. I lie daily to my parents l, my friends, my relatives, my love and to even myself. I fucking can’t understand why I m still alive. Why god don’t take my life and make me a crab or something. I am fed up of this life.
I got around -15 points daily. (Average). I broke my promises. I broke my vows. I hate myself. I cant do anything. I am such a shit. Its better if I go and work on a shop or whatever. That where I deserve to be. I am a total asshole.
Bro. Don’t use such words for yourself. You know I also think like that about myself but remember one small defeat is not gonna change anything. Just bring back slowly. As advice Don’t use your mobile too much …and keep calm.
Waking up at 4-5. ||
• Meditation for 10 min ||
• Exercise/Yoga for 15-20 minutes❌
• Chant Hari naam for 16 rounds atleast.
• Study for 12 hours❌
• Bath twice a day✅
• No sexual thoughts for more than a few seconds (each thought = (-1)
• No PMO✅
• No Social Media, YT❌
• Phone usage under 3 hours❌
• Dont get angry. Be calm.
• No Abuses:x:
• Only Classical Music and Bhakti songs allowed.
Total = +5
A good day after a major mental breakdown. Will work hard to be productive as hell again.
Waking up at 4-5
• Meditation for 10 min❌
• Exercise/Yoga for 15-20 minutes❌
• Chant Hari naam for 16 rounds atleast.
• Study for 12 hours❌
• Bath twice a day❌
• No sexual thoughts for more than a few seconds (each thought = (-1)
• No PMO
• No Social Media, YT❌
• Phone usage under 3 hours❌
• Dont get angry. Be calm.
• No Abuses:x:
• Only Classical Music and Bhakti songs allowed.
Waking up at 4-5
• Meditation for 10 min✅️
• Exercise/Yoga for 15-20 minutes✅️
• Chant Hari naam for 16 rounds atleast.
• Study for 12 hours❌
• Bath twice a day❌
• No sexual thoughts for more than a few seconds (each thought = (-1)
• No PMO
• No Social Media, YT❌
• Phone usage under 3 hours❌
• Dont get angry. Be calm.
• No Abuses:x:
• Only Classical Music and Bhakti songs allowed.
