I am starting my journal to document my journey to freedom. I will be sharing my challenges and success with those of you interested to read.
First some background, I have tried to quit porn for a long time. I have attempted different strategies like leaving technology outside of my room, strict sleeping routines, disactivated Google Chrome…you get the point.
Yet I am still dealing with it. It was only recently that I became aware of the potential benefits of having a community to keep you accountable to, as well as share encouragement.
It is in this spirit that I want to start sharing with my fellow allies who will join me on this journey.
For starters, I am happy to say that I have gone the first day without relapsing on porn!
Here is to many more to come!
may all of us be victorious!
So day 2.
After finding out more about this app, and adding more allies I am feeling quite optimistic. But I recognize this feeling. It is the same feeling I had the last streak of 16 days when after what I call the honey moon period, one relapse and I am spiraling.
What I mean to say is that I now have new tools that I did not have before. Allies that are so encouraging and genuinely friendly people. But the hat work is the mindset. You can have all the tools in the world but without the right mindset nothing will change.
Which takes me to a totally different subject yet relevant example of how a simple Instagram post today was totally stressing me out, thinking to myself if it was funny enough, if people would like it? Etc etc.
The truth is probably that most people may look at my pic for one sec, leave a like (or not) and make nothing more of it.
Point being that our minds can play tricks on us. Make things bigger than they are. I hope I can take this into my struggle with porn, the next time I am feeling very strong urges, to remind myself that it is just my brain playing a trick on me. A hangover from the survival instinct from when we were cave men. Only difference is today survival is social affirmation through social media, and the survival instinct to pass on our genes that becomes overloaded by porn.
Final remark is that as a football fan I will be using some football terms in my match against porn. On that note I want to keep the second clean sheet today. I don’t necessarily have to score but just keep the clean sheet- Mourinho style, Park the bus if I have to!
In the prem I support Tottenham Hotspur
Yes there are some part to fix but they going right on the ucl this year
You are very right, as we are still early in the title race. The important things is to start building momentum
Good luck bro! May you achieve what you’ve set out to achieve
So far it’s looking like another clean sheet.
The message today is simple. Whatever happens we don’t concede. I will repeat. Whatever happens we don’t concede.
If life got you down, if things are shit, you feel alone or for whatever reason things are just not going your way WE DONT CONCEDE (quote taken from Amazon All or Nothing-Mourinho)
This is the mantra I will live by. I will choose to feel whatever shit I’m feeling and face it, who knows maybe I will even learn something from it.
But I will tell you what you will not learn from. Letting shit get you to do what is harmful to your sexual and mental health.
I know because in difficult parts of my life I have turned to porn to feel better, but that feeling is temporary and will leave you worse off. Face life head on, and you will be better of for it.
Stop escaping reality no matter how much you crave the endorphins of naked women on a screen that you will never meet in your life. Let yourself feel the lows of life knowing that the highs will come naturally. From hobbies and friends and a loving partner, that should be your source of endorphins.
So to finish, life might feel shit, and you may not be where you wish right now, but whatever you do just now that we don’t concede. As long as that is your non negotiable, the last man in defence who will take the red card outside the penalty box instead of conceding a goal the wins will come naturally.
Every day without porn is a success, because you are facing reality and we will learn how to deal with life as it is.
Another clean sheet.
Tip of the day is to keep active. When active your brain and body are focused on something else.
Spent the whole day with friends in nature, which meant that today was one of the easiest to deal with so far.
Keep going my friend, this journey may be tough but is very rewarding. I’ll be following your future entries, don’t ever concede!
That means a lot! Thanks for the support. And I hope you also never concede
Another clean sheet. (Just like spurs)
Today I’m travelling with friends. Haven’t even felt the urge to watch something. I need to do this more often. Just find cheap train tickets and go see something new.
Thinking of all the hours I have spent infront of a screen watching porn, it is nice to have a change of scenery, and just appreciate a good view.
Can totally recommend it.
You are an inspiration my guy. Keep doing the good work!
Bro for real this made my day! I wish you all the best on this journey.
Another day spent sight seeing so cannot really complain.
But yesterday’s victory was bigger than I thought, because the past 4 Sundays have been relapses (I heard that it is always healthy to keep track of days and times and triggers etc). Not to say that I did not have relapses on week days, I did, but not consecutively.
With that said I feel like I have past the Sunday hurdle. The day before all the work of the week starts and I am reminded of all that I should have done for Monday morning.
Thereby the lesson I take, is that I will try to make Sunday an activity day. Make sure that I keep myself busy. Or better yet aim for clean sheets on Sundays. Any other day it may happen, I will do my best of course, but Sunday’s have proven statistically a weak point for me, so from now on it will be my fort. My last pawn protecting the king.
I started my way with You !
Thanks, I really appreciate the support! And all the best to you on this journey
Am hoping for a clean sheet.
I hesitate to call it this early because my last relapse was this day a week ago. After that relapse I had had enough. Enough of thinking I could just do this alone. That I didn’t need anyone. That I was better than this and that this was not a serious problems.
But today I have been reminded of what deep shit I have been sitting in. It happened when I was looking for an order of Amazon, when instead I found all of the erotic comics that I had ordered through the past 3 months. I feel ashamed to share how many times I had to click on ’ archive order’ . But I lost count. So yeah this shit hurts the wallet and this shit has been a problem.
I had tricked myself to thinking erotic comics was not the same as porn. That it doesn’t count. But any stimulus that is not real, that interferes with ones economy and life is a problem. And my last relapse started with a comic, before leading me to open a incognito site on my phone.
So now I can no longer be in denial. Nor can I say I would be where I am today without the community on this platform.
It is still to early to call this Tuesday porn free, I am back home again from my travels so am a bit worried about being alone again. But regardless I feel like I’m on the right path. Right path on what is a long walk to freedom.