Jessiestone724(F) -recovery diary

[jessiestone724]

P.s. on some days you can rationalise telling your brain that its not reality but on other days your thoughts overpower this rationalisation.

[Nep_12]

@jessiestone724

. I know it sounds weird but I just wanted to ask those who have experienced this how do you cope with it?

I’m there. Overthinking all the time. I have a hyperactive mind.
But I understand that none of these things will help you change your life. The best thing we can do is let go and move on.
I recall conversations going as far as 6-7 years ago and I wish I can change those. Since last 2 days I’m thinking that this is not really worth it. I’m trying to let things go. Wouldn’t happen in a click for me. But in these 2 days I made progress. Feels slightly liberating. I still worry a lot about what people think of me. But when I think about it those people aren’t really making any impact in the life, even if they gossip about me. I have one goal to achieve. That’s the only priority.

[jessiestone724]

@Nep_12

I think about it those people aren’t really making any impact in the life,

I think this a very important point that you mentioned ,we need to remind ourselves of the value of people in our life. If they are not making an impact, they are not worth thinking about.

Thankyou for responding as I get to hear atleast one other perspective. It is a better way to move on and again training our brain not to think of old thoughts. I hope you keep on making progress in your struggle!

[anon65589122]

Seems to me you’re going through flatline. You can read more about this on the internet.

[jessiestone724]

Interesting! I’ll look at it.

[jessiestone724]

Day 66
Today I started having triggers out of nowhere but I reminded myself that I have come so far and there is no going back. Kill the triggers right at the moment!

[Themonk1]

Hi there.

We need to train mindfulness - to be aware of what happening to us every moment. Thoughts, feelings, body and mind states.

There is a special meditation technique for this. I practice it. This way we are ready to meet stress or any kind of negativity and don’t let it to drag us back into addiction.

When I get to 1000 days, I can say it works for PMO and digital addiction.

Wish you full recovery!

[jessiestone724]

Hello! Thankyou for sharing your thoughts. Can I ask what is that special meditation?
It seems I still have to go a long way to be mindful cause Iaam definitely struggling with shifting on from one addiction to another.

[Themonk1]

That’s what was happening to me. I get rid of one addiction, just to substitute it for another addiction.
It happens to many people.

We have to treat the root of any addiction - weak, untrained, addictive Mind.

We must train our Mind every day - to rewire it’s neuro networks and make our Mind strong.

This is the meditation technique I have developed myself and it’s based on meditation used by Buhddist monks. It trains our Mind. Develops mindfulness.

You can search for Buhddist mindfulness meditation.

Be strong!

[slave_of_allah]

@jessiestone724

I think about old conversations, past events and even for example I visited a person I will repeat the whole conversation in my head sometimes adding on things I could have said or scenarios. It becomes exhausting and destroys your routine because its a chain of overthinking. I know it sounds weird but I just wanted to ask those who have experienced this how do you cope with it? And does overcoming this addiction helps in becoming more present?

I too have this problem, and the main issue is I snap back to reality after the scenario in my head goes on for a half an hour. Like as if I am there and like that.

Trying to be busy can help to overcome this.

I have not overcome this problem myself yet but I think it happens if we are alone all by ourselves doing nothing.

Once I was watching a video, it was just some motivational video I think, something came up in my mind and I forgot that I was seeing a video and was overthinhkinh scenarios in my head like some “psychological pro thinker”

It seems so foolish of me to do that, because it is something I think I did so cool but I didn’t do it in reality.

[jessiestone724]

@Themonk1

We have to treat the root of any addiction - weak, untrained, addictive Mind.

Yup I think this is the reason.

I will look into the mediation. Thanks.

[jessiestone724]

@slave_of_allah

I have not overcome this problem myself yet but I think it happens if we are alone all by ourselves doing nothing.

In my case, It’s not when I am alone but the problem is that it interferes with the daily chores like you said I am doing something important but then I start thinking about something else.

I think its more related to learning to be present somehow because if we notice we are never living in the moment. We are either thinking about the past or the future.

Thanks for sharing your struggles

[jessiestone724]

I relapsed.

It’s not worth it but it is important to remind yourself that in all cases one has to be careful even after a long streak it is possible to fall into the trap. Anyways, I am happy that I made this far and will pass over this streak now.

[slave_of_allah]

Good that you are taking the good from this, dont overthink and learn what made you relapse and make sure not to do that mistake again sister.

Go beyond strong

[Yatmi_Cascaded]

Self esteem is something you built in your day to day… Well excessive fapping can reduce it but not to a noticeable margin… Similarly wanna built better self esteem try to be more disciplined… That’s the way…

[jessiestone724]

Hello again! After a long time absent from this forum, I am back here again. I still haven’t managed to beat this addiction fully but I have made progress. If I think about streaks, last year in 2022 I went to the longest streak of 172 days. However, it combined with my final year of masters so it was quite stressful overall.
I have understood that I have a hyperactive mind and with or without pmo, I struggle to live in the present. This causes most of my worries.
I am giving this another try currently on day 18.

[jessiestone724]

-I have been meditating for over two months now and it has helped me a bit.

[jessiestone724]

40 days update

-Well I have understood that remaining physically busy as in engaging in sports, walk, going out and talking to people really helps while restraining. I always used to get flatline/headaches around 30 days but this time it was much less. It lasted only for two days. I think because I was busy and going out every day.

• About fantasy: our brain can only have a certain number of thoughts so if you replace your fantasies quickly with some other alternate though, obsessive thoughts will not have a place in mind.
• Meditation has definitely been a huge help. It helps to quiet the mind even for a little time each day.

Benefits

• better sleep
• Comparatively better presence of mind.

[jessiestone724]

Cutting Coffee/ tea:

I have realised that anything stimulating results in anxiety for me. I get lethargic/jittery after drinking tea/coffee, more with coffee. It just makes me uncomfortable and I get palpitations. I have tried quitting before but it gives me withdrawal headaches. Today I had tea in the evening and I am awake like an owl🦉so it messes with my sleep as well.

I have now decided to quit coffee/ black tea and switch to green/ pepper mint tea. I will quit for a month and see the results. This is for my own good.

[prince_king]

It’s been 10 months, have you left the forum?