Jessiestone724(F) -recovery diary

Needed this reminder. Mind plays every kind of tricks.

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Yes. Well said. The mind really plays all kind of tricks. You can also read this book it might be helpful.

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Thanks! This book is on my list. It must be helpful that’s why I see it all over this forum.

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Huh! :roll_eyes:
After reading your entire diary (honestly it was written in the first line :joy:) I got to know that you’re returning with more enthusiastic spirit of achieving those 1000 days. Well, as you said, you began your journey in 2018 but you gave up, now it’s already 2021. You came back, started your journey again, with new mindset, with new strategies and with more people. But why did you gave up previously? What was the reason behind it? You’ve wasted 3 years, you could have been on day 940-990.

Well, you’re senior to me as I joined this community on the 11th of February 2021. I can’t give you any suggestion or tips as I’m a newbie but one thing I can surely say to you - you-can-do-it-heart

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Hello, that is such a lovely sticker! Thankyou for the motivation. :smile:

Idk why everyone is saying I wasted my 3 years. Do you think it is a parallel journey and once you set to it you will have some super human powers the first time? No it takes a lot of failures to reach success. I would never have learned the root cause of this behaviour if I never failed. I am not saying to use failure as an excuse but only as an opportunity to learn.

Why did I gave up?
1- I can not share everything here but every addiction stems from a trauma and sometimes the trauma stays a little longer in your life/mind than you want.

2- I thought it’s impossible to overcome this, there is not much help available for women on internet or information one can read to understand what’s going on in your brain. But now I have found some relevant material to reason with my addiction.

3- I have had a physical condition due to which I couldn’t walk properly but now it is improving so basically depression etc.

4- I lost my best friend ( she alive but not in my life)

Inshort, the instant gratification was an escape from pain or stress.

I wish you best of luck! :sparkles:

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That was quite a nice summary. I am looking forward to read the book. :sunny:

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Day 25 completed: knight =Dame.
I was thinking what is the title for a female knight and I found this on Google.
‘As the female equivalent for knighthood is damehood, the suo jure female equivalent term is typically Dame.’ Lelz.

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Hey, I didn’t read the comments saying that you have wasted 3 years or I would have replied to that earlier. But anyways, don’t mind such comments. I have been trying to overcome this for years too and I know that its not easy at all. Usually one cannot just beat this addiction immediately after they get started with their attempts. It takes several failures, several streaks and sometimes several years to overcome something like this. Whats important is that one continues to try and doesn’t give up after a failure. And for that, one also needs to make basic lifestyle changes so that they don’t think too much about it. One very important point that one needs to do is, they have to learn have to endure sufferings. Sometimes, we can’t do much about something that makes us feel bad, and in such times we often search for anything that gives us instant pleasure and then PMO seems to be the most rewarding and easily available material to make us forget about the sufferings for sometime. One has to learn that its ok to live with pain and sufferings. They are as important in the life of a person, as are happiness, love, kindness and whatnot. Sometimes, we should just live with pain and suffering and let them make us stronger than ever.

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This is exactly what I wanted to say and you have explained it so much better in your words. ::sparkles:

I also agree to the point that sufferings are also a part of life and we should learn to endure it. I have seen people who have eating disorders because of all the challenges they have to face. When they feel sad they either eat too much or don’t eat at all which is their way of dealing but in the end, if we keep on fighting it makes us stronger like you said. :blush:

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Hi there are many users in this forum who are under twenty. My personal guess is they are all well-intentioned but they may not be very well at social interaction yet. So maybe they are more direct. That’s just a guess.

It seems you had a hard life. Often our childhood trauma leads us to these addictions. But when you come out of it you will be proud to say to yourself that despite your hard life you are doing well. That will make you stronger than any person who had a relatively easy life.

All the best.

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Good luck for your journey girl. NEVER GIVE UP.

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Thanks man! I am going to take it in a well-intentioned positive way as you said. It’s better for peace of mind. ::sparkles:

I hope we all get to see that day when we are proud of ourselves. :blush:

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:sweat_smile: :sweat_smile: That’s a good idea.

Sure, We all will be definitely be proud of ourselves.

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Yup I think so too :v:

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Thanks for the kind words. :sparkles:

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A month and 3 days! :blush:

Things that worked for me to reach this far.
1- Cut off all social media apps. Although I watched Youtube a lot but stayed away from anything triggering.
2- Stay busy in things that you enjoy.
3- In case of fantasizing, I would think this will not serve any purpose so it is better to focus on real life.
4- Be very very Kind to yourself- just like any other addiction it will also take some time to overcome but since it is not visible you will have to treat it with your will power. Don’t be so hard on yourself if you feel demotivated or uable to perform well in other areas of life because these withdrawal symptoms are temporary. :sparkles:

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Pros:
1- Much better Sleep!!
2- Reduced social anxiety.
3- Confidence
i- more participation in class
ii- I felt that I am less concerned about other’s opinion of me in the past few weeks.
4- Confidence automatically leads to improved self esteem ( but I still need to work on it)

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Hey jessie

Great tips. Thanks for sharing. Hopefully it will be useful to me and others.

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Hello!
Glad to know that. :slight_smile:

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Day 43
I am close to my longest streak but I wonder if passing days really matter? After the first week I experienced reduced anxiety but the week after my anxiety was still there and pretty much visible.

When I was reading about this addiction, I got to know that it also leads to getting detached from the reality in general. I have been struggling with this since a long time like there are days when I am just living in the head. I think about old conversations, past events and even for example I visited a person I will repeat the whole conversation in my head sometimes adding on things I could have said or scenarios. It becomes exhausting and destroys your routine because its a chain of overthinking. I know it sounds weird :joy: but I just wanted to ask those who have experienced this how do you cope with it? And does overcoming this addiction helps in becoming more present?

Though I have reached this far but since I am still living in my head I have not been productive at all and this time its not any addictive content but just the thoughts that are in my head all the time.

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