Jessiestone724(F) -recovery diary

Diary
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#1

code: 9be9a2
I started the reboot journey back in 2018 but gave up. I am starting it again but now with more knowledge and companions.
I will try to share what I have learned about this issue and we can be better together.

1- The first step is always about accepting that you have an addiction. Until you keep fooling yourself you cannot start the process. I have come to realise this now that I have an addiction after reading about it.

2- The second step is finding out what is that you are escaping from real life? When you are suffering from something in your subconscious mind you don’t realise and turn to this instant gratification. In my case, It is the abuse when I was a child. I want you to think about the reason that led you to this addiction. The pain or the failure? I came to this platform to fight this hidden addiction hoping that I will succeed.

I will share more of my thoughts. For now peace out. :v:

Links for helping channels ( only for women)
1- https://youtube.com/c/KasumiKrissTV1
2- https://youtube.com/c/WannAlana

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#2

It’s good that you figured out the causes of you addiction and want to improve. All the best for your journey. You can participate in some challenges here on the forum. And take help from other companions.

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#3

Thankyou! I’ll look into challenges. All the best to you also.

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#5

Day 5:
Stress is the one if the biggest factor that takes you back to this habit. A few minutes on screen gives you the instant gratification that is needed to overcome the stress. The reality it your stress will remain, your work or assignments will still be there but you fool yourself into believing that everything is fine. Being a human, mind should be in our control and we should not be a slave to our thougts. Be courageous and finish the work or whatever thing is stressing you out. Even if it is something you cannot handle still going back to PMO will not make things any better. It will make it worse with all the side effects. Don’t let your brain fool you!

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#6

Day 8:
From day 8-10, it is always challenging. This is the time the brain wants to go back to old habits. I am going strong though. It’s weird how your brain even starts thinking about people who have long been out of your life and you do not think about them but it just wants to bring back any memory that can give you that dopamine shot. I will not fall into this trap. I can make it!

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#7

That’s right. I would also say it’s a healing process. Whatever we have suppressed about the past come to the surface. If you let it go eventually it will fade…

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#8

I haven’t thought it from that perspective. :face_with_monocle: And it makes a lot of sense to take these thoughts as a part of healing process instead of stressing about them. :ok_hand:

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#9

I agree with you. Lot of different mental state will come during this whole process.

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#10

Day 12 (Freewoman)
Although my longest streak is 46 days, I am still happy to get this badge again. Never tell yourself it is okay to go back to this habit after a long streak. Don’t lose hope if you relapse but be very careful of making this choice. I also thought it was okay but then I got stuck in a ten day cycle until I reached 22 days in the last streak. Now I am hoping to move past my longest streak. Fingers crossed! :crossed_fingers:

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#11

I have also realised whenever I start this journey, due to the addictive habit, my mind starts looking for other forms of addiction. I mostly turn to social media (fb, insta, YouTube). I deleted fb, insta but now I am spending almost all the day on YouTube watching random videos. I am still procrastinating a lot which is effecting important work that I need to do. It is very important to replace a negative addiction with a positive one like book reading or any sport or multiple positive habits. Otherwise, one can get frustrated with lack of productivity and fall into old habits again. I need to control this screen additiction also.

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#12

My case is similar. Its important to recognize your problems and fix them, but in this case you may need some help. I have been using an app called “digital detox” to get rid of the smartphone addiction. I don’t have social media, but since you don’t need account for youtube, I often end up watching irrelevant things there, I even relapsed a few times because of the triggering things I’d see there. In digital detox, we set amount of hours that we don’t want to use smartphone, and then once the challenge begins, you cannot open it anymore. If you do, you’ll have to pay 1-2 dollars as fine.
As for important features like calling, you can turn on their usage in the settings of the app.
With me, its easier to control procrastination on computer than on phone, and I hope it may be the same for you.
Good luck.

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#13

I have a feature on my phone which let me set a timer for apps but since it’s easier to increase the timing, I always end up using apps excessively. I think it is a very smart way to deal with the screen addiction since it involves fine. And after all I am not watching YouTube for any useful purpose. Good luck to you also. :v:Thanks for th suggestion, I will try the app definitely. :slight_smile:

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#14

Day 21: I completed my two weeks challenge.
I am going to add 10 more days to make it a month. This time I can do it. All of us can ! :v:

P.s. sorry to those I didn’t reply in dm. I also have screen addiction in general so I am trying to avoid using this app as any other social media site and I am more comfortable interacting here. :sunny:

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#15

Hey, would you mind sharing your companion code, I would love to support you through this and vice versa. Can always use more companions.
Stay strong sister.

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#16

Hello! Sure :slight_smile: code is 9be9a2. Thanks for the support and motivation. Wish you more strength in your journey!

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#17

I am not here to make you sad but just imagine if you had done nofap seriously back in 2018? You would be at day 1000+ , free from this addiction.
Do it seriously now so that you won’t have to regret after 3 years and you will get all the benefits of it.

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#18

Fact has been spoken. True!

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#19

Hello brothers! It doesn’t make me sad so no worries. :blush:You are right and infact I have thought about it that’s why I am back here with the same account. Like every other person , I have been trying on and off within these 3 years just not this platform.

Thanks for the reminder and maybe someone else can also take this as a lesson/inspiration looking at my struggle. Wishing you a more speedy recovery! :v:

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#20

Day 24, I passed my previous streak but I am very distracted today. I didn’t get enough sleep and I am stressed because of few academic results. I hope I can pass through this day. :bowing_woman:t3:

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#21

We break in these situations. I have given up many times during stressful situations. But remind yourself relapsing will not make the situation better. You had good day bad day when you were addicted. And You will keep having good day bad day when you are free from addiction.

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