Jared's New Diary

I relapsed on 23rd of January and 6th of February, ive only had 2 relapses this year.

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I had a wet dream this morning, I woke up just as it was happening.

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Good luck in your job :wink:
New stage of life is sth great

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Day 25. I survived 2 mornings of crazy urges and also got a transfer in the job department’s at the Tegel chicken factory.

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Day 27. I have made it this far once again, this time I’m remaining strict and not getting too excited when I reach a certain number of days, especially 30 days, because losing focus and being overconfident are the reasons ive relapsed many times mostly when I’m on the 3rd to 4th week , but this time I’m remaining strict as possible, and keeping focused, I’ve been forcing myself to work out, meditate, exercise, take cold showers, and do physical/casual labor to keep me going, ive also been relying on the nofap counter on apps to count days for me instead of counting days myself, it’s actually making a difference. But I should still be careful what I say, if a relapse were to happen, because sometimes people say something like ‘im free’, ‘I am doing very well’, ‘I am no longer addicted’, or ‘I’m almost there, just a little further’, the problem is sometimes when people say that they relapse later the same day or the next day, that’s why we need to be careful what we say.

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I had to delete some old messages on discord from when I did do PMO, it was a little bit of a challenge, some of the messages I were deleting was tempting, but remained in control and deleted them all. When I was deleting the messages thoughts were running through me like ‘go on, click on the thumbnail’, Im grateful I didn’t, because that would have lead me back to where I started, day 1. Afterwards I had visualized what would have happened If I did give in, and how I would feel after, I even visualized myself asking the same old question like every other time I’ve relapsed, and how I would have to start over. After visualizing, I told myself, screw this, a relapse is a waste of time, and a relapse could jeopardize my new life that I just started, I reminded myself that I recently got a new license, a new car and a new job and that being on nofap enabled me to do this, I reminded myself that if I relapse all this hard work could end up down the drain, which could end with me reverting to being in my bedroom and feeling alone and empty again, which is not what I want, a relapse is a waste of time.

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Day 28. My Grandparents dropped by for lunch, I told them about my new job, new car and the hours I work, they said they were very proud of me, im proud of myself aswell, and I found it was much easier to join the conversation, people knew what I was talking about as well when I was talking, I even knew what I was talking about, it felt good, nofap is the reason for this and I’m very grateful.

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Day 29. I worked overtime today, I was at work for 10 hours instead of 8 hours, where I work I get paid for working overtime aswell. I get paid $22 an hour, and work 40 hours a week, I get paid somewhere around $800 a week which is quite high for minimum wage.

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:fire::fire::fire::fire::fire::fire::fire::fire::fire::fire::fire::fire: awesome bro.

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Day 30. Well I have just reached a month of nofap today, these 30 days have been the best days of my life, ive got a license, a new car and a new job, all of this is because ive been sticking with nofap for a long time.

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Do nofap for an year and see how your WORLD changes :wink::grin:.

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Day 32. My sisters have both got covid, I tested negative for my covid test, but I’m currently isolating in my bedroom so I don’t catch it off them, I’m still allowed to work as long as I continue to test negative.

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Ive woken up with a sticky situation this morning.

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Day 34. When I first started nofap in September 2020, I was like most people when they first started, I could hardly go more than 7 days, at my lowest point I was fapping 2 to 3 times a day, I was stuck in a chaser effect cycle for nearly 3 months, I was relapsing every 3 to 5 days, but from that point I started to take nofap seriously, I learned so many things along the way and eventually my mindset changed, I no longer saw nofap as a challenge, I saw it as a way to change my life, become mature, and make a difference in my life and others lives, I am 30 + days now and I am still an addict and I still get urges but they are normal and natural, instead of turning to PMO, I use the urges as a source of energy and I transmute them, I work out, I do chores, I do anything to keep me busy and keep me away from PMO.

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same here :handshake:
and also I started in Jan 2020, until december 2020 my highest streak was 19 days, It gets so much better when you don’t ever give up

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20220313_170933
Its like ive gone through a transformation being on nofap.

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Day 38. I’m starting to see people as human beings rather than sexual objects.

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Wow this line touched me,well said brother

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Day 40. I’m starting to talk to my work colleagues more frequently at work, not full conversations but enough to be able to say a few words. As I go further into nofap, my words that I say start to become clearer, I’m slowly starting to come out of my shell. Normally I’d be too shy, especially when I was fapping once every 3 weeks.

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I remember last year I was at my 45th day which had ended when I relapsed, it took nearly 6 months to get past 3 weeks again, until I eventually did, I am now on day 41, it’s my second time being more than 30 days.

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