Jared's New Diary

yes , you get made in such time :joy:

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:skull: :skull: :skull:

bruh

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I have noticed my mental health has been improving over the past 30 days, I am getting better at socializing and I’m enjoying getting out there going to work and going to the gym after work, I have to say, my mental health is alot better than the last time I went more than 30 days on nofap, the difference is last time I reached 30 days I had been alone for quite a long time, and I was still feeling lonely, this time being 30+ days, Ive been surrounded by people for the past 4 months although I still sometimes feel lonely, I have been slowly starting to learn to socialize, being a month clean again has made socializing alot better, I am starting to come out of my shell and have more conversations with people, showing up at work 5 days a week has helped, I feel happier than I was a few months back.

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Day 33
Ok so I finally had the balls to talk to my crush I started off with asking how her day was, and how she was enjoying work etc, then I asked what places she used to work at I couldn’t hear what she was saying because it was while we were working, and things got awkward quick, I felt like an idiot.

And for the nofap part of it, I believe I have a few admirers, Ive noticed it myself.

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Oh shit :sweat_smile:.
But good job anyway, you found the courage :100::fire:

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I believe I’m in flatline, but I’m so focused on self improvement that it’s not much of an issue for me.

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Day 38
For the past 38 days Ive been busy improving myself, which started when I began socializing and doing things out of my comfort zone, that was just the basic stuff, but when I signed up for the gym I found I was able to invest more time on self improvement, I now go to the gym 4 nights a week, and Ive realized that every rep I take is another step closer to getting those gains, the gym has been helping me so much that I’m starting to get the confidence to actually socialize. There’s another thing Ive been focusing on recently, that’s getting my next level driver license which means I can legally drive by myself one thing I’m working on is eliminating any bad habits I have while driving, ao I can pass my test

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I realized something today I realized that I was so obsessed with this girl, that it was starting to become unhealthy, I got to the point that I was around her almost everywhere even when she was around these other girls when I realized this, I literally felt guilty and was quiet for most of the day, I figured out that that Ive been like this because before I met her I have been a loner for many years I had no friends and I dealt with problems alone, but today at work I was hanging out with the men in the workplace and I felt like I was having a good time for once, there was lots of laughter and silly things us men were doing it felt so great, I feel like I’m starting to make new friends, after years of social anxiety and loneliness, having fun with these group of men, it even helped to take my mind off that girl, I am literally over girls and I would rather be single if I’m honest.

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Day 44
Been staying at my parents for a few days to help them out during a busy time of year, today I went for a drive and got a haircut I got it as reward for being on nofap, I got the haircut to give myself a fresh start and I felt like my haircut was my style. I also joke alot about getting haircuts to make me attractive

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*to other gender. My parents laugh when I say that

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I had an awful dream where I relapsed it felt so real that I thought it all ended like that, but when I woke up my underwear was full of semen, it turned out I had a wet dream. It felt so real that I’m actually feeling guilty.

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Day 55 Yesterday I almost relapsed twice, and twice I stopped myself from doing anything stupid like Pmo, I was peeking at triggering thumbnails, today what I’m going to do different, I’m going to stay out of my room (The relapse zone) I’m going to have breakfast, meditate, have a cold shower, get ready for work and maybe go to the gym. Yesterday was a bad day which could have ended in a relapse, but I’m still here willing to change for the better.

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Nice man, you are nailing it :fire::fire::fire::fire:

I relapsed
.
.

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Damn man, I saw three strong people relapsing today.
Stay strong dude.

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I understood it wrongly :skull_and_crossbones:

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:joy::joy::joy: I meant I didn’t see literally, I just saw their posts about relapsing.

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yeah yeah :joy: :joy: ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

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:sob::sob::sob::sob::sob::sob::sob:
I know the pain which comes when you relapse after a long streak…almost a month back i relapsed on my 60 days streak due to depression…and if i wouldn’t have then i would have been at day 90+ now…but the good thing is that my 60 days streak was not a quality streak… my currently running streak is a quality one,not just quantity one.

So get up,Jared!
I know you can achieve 90 days,and even more than that…!

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Thanks man, needed that.

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