Infinite Peace : The Ambitious One's Diary

if you’re going to the doctor might as well check all of them. HbA1c, Iron and vitamin levels. Esp Vit D.

okay

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True ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

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Thoughts are affecting lesser
still not at the strongest but
Its silent and peaceful
feels nice

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Well , it was overconfidence
I jinxed myself to relapse . It was no urge , I feel it was an action out of emptiness and the thoughts of being away from it , I ended up doing it . I don’t feel regretted but disappointed to give care to it and lessen my powers , but the number of days wont affect me , I am stronger , I’ve only had two minor slips out of two months . I will go on doing things as I was but at the same time , it was a lesson . I don’t fear the thoughts now that I won’t be able to recover on time or that I will have to go through shit , they’re all psychological , I have recovered greatly but I need to take care of the mental aspect that it puts , it is always there somewhere in the form of mental masturbation , overthinking and fantasizing . I need to find out why really I want seek it , why do I feel I am not free while I am free and set myself free. To be honest , my addiction was related to deeper things and while I sought to work on them , I didn’t do it on time so it had to happen . It won’t happen now , I will be careful . Important lesson

I will give no care to it , focus more and stay aware .

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:joy::joy::joy: Whenever I go somewhere I see most of the short peoples around me I feel a lil motivated but whenever I see tall people than me (rarely) I get insecure too! :no_mouth::unamused:

all of my friends of elementary school are now taller than me 5.7ft is short :mask: bro atleast you are taller than me.
Salman and sharukh khan this guys are 5.8ft too (still short):roll_eyes: but do not afraid you will be taller and strong if you start doing streching and start practicing jumping :triumph: like taekwondo athletes do stretchings and basketball players jumps that’s why they are tall you should start from low jumps on the hard surface.

You can go through a limb lengthening surgery to get more tall,
that’s the only option for you :slightly_smiling_face::+1: but,
I won’t prefer it although with age people tend to lose some inches of their height till the age of 50 people loses almost 5cm from there height! :smiling_face:

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“Every defeat, until death, is psychological. True defeat comes only when you accept it.”

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I fell into chaser after that 1 mistake
and its so bad I had to come back write here
I was focusing on not thinking about it and moving on , and it was working . I was peaceful and happy
but ended up taking the worst turns
I always stopped it by regretting and thinking about it

I relapsed twice today and don’t feel anything at all
its critical now because it couldn’t have been a worse time than this to be stuck here
this is not how I lose after everything

I wish I never fell into this
more I wish , I lived my life calmly instead of regretting and creating dark memories
even if Im calm now , but Im afraid inside
I have been afraid all the time , that’s the reason I end up getting back to it isn’t it , being afraid and not being free from it

But I still don’t have the time to regret about it . Even if I might face consequences for sometime , I will battle it . I know most of the things but due to overthinking and judgement . There is minimal 50 days left now , if I work on moving on , I might be completely well but if I keep fearing , I will surely be not well .

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do you want to go for an accountability challenge, 7 days of warm up studies(10+ hours) YPT and Nofap.

If it goes well, we can extend it.

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Sure why not
Reluctant about ypt because device is the reason I reach bad places
But its mostly during uncontrollable usage
I will find a way

Lets go for it

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Bro u can cross initial 3 days only with the help of willpower. No technique will work cause the relapse is fresh. U have to be hard on yourself. Say “I WON’T RELAPSE TODAY , NO MATTER WHAT. EVEN IF THE DEVIL HIMSELF COME FOR ME , I WILL ACCEPT TO DIE BUT NEVER RELAPSE. LET’S SEE WHAT HE CAN DO IF I DON’T PUT MY HAND INSIDE PANTS :smirk:

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Then only use your mobile for YPT, and allow apps you need for studying.

Cool. Check in study hours in YPT, and Nofap in challenge thread. From tomorrow it begins. @The_Ambitious_One :eagle:

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