Here’s to the next 3 months from now . To heal , enrage and learn from the mistakes Ive made and to set for myself a new bar , for my future depends on it .
All the best brother !
Don’t cook this diary 
or else he will open a new one with Doomsday.
Show your beast side in this diary and show no mercy to PMO
Set Your Heart ablaze ! 
8 Likes
Done the shield 
brother 
Come one
Lets start a new beginning
Fight PMO with all you have
My best wishes for your success 
Here’s a poem I am writing to motivate you
Fight with PMO with all that you have
Conquer it before it has the final laugh
God is the protector for all Bewildered souls
We have got this since the inception of our goals 
3 Likes
i hope youll be successful in thiis attempt. and realize the deep roots of your addiction.
3 Likes
You opened a new one for us 
to rant thanks bro 
btw don’t worry this diary will not be cooked again like previous one.
Again anyone except @The_Ambitious_One replied here unnecessarly instead of motivating and helping him or advising him is a gay/lesbian remember it guys 
we are here to support him .
.
.
.
@The_Ambitious_One it’s your time to rise be strong
1 Like
2 Likes
Step 1 : Dead Calm
I don’t want to think of the person I was till this afternoon . I have done a lot of mistakes , but it was all necessary for me to see the light . I am letting go of it , although the thoughts might come , but I must believe I am not the same person as I was in moment of weaknesses .
I had a 30 min meditation session and 15 min self counselling session , the level upto which I was able to calm myself down after that was unbelievable . I only regret not taking such steps earlier when I had succumbed to fear and panic just like this . I will obviously not be able to be that calm on the first day itself , mainly after all I fell into chaser so bad as always , but its quite better now . I will continue taking active steps to let go of the burden that I unnecessarily keep inside . I will have to struggle a little to be focused whenever I start thinking shit and stay locked in . But I am sure that I will achieve it .
For now , I have three more exams , next one tomorrow . I was supposed to do hardcore revision , but mistakes have to paid with , but I’ll do fine . I just have to get through the next 5 days , then I might have some time to relax and heal before october starts .
God give me the strength
5 Likes
The Ambitious One has relapsed immeasurable no of times and watched ■■■■ . He fails to learn to be strong and puts fear and feeling motivated before taking actions . He is swayed all the time in his own thoughts instead of being in the present . He still feels guilt all the time instead of doing something about it . When he tries to forget his mistakes , he fails and when he tries to fight them , he can't move beyond . The Ambitious One has wasted 1 year and 6 months falling back into the same trap and wasting time and energy . He cries but doesn't learn from his mistakes and keeps thinking instead of staying vigilant . He says never ending words but results in never lasting actions .
From today , I am accountable to myself . Everything I do , I will journal here
2 Likes
Day 0/100
Wake up early 
Exercise
Study 8+ hours
Social Media <1 hour
Meditate
Journal
Sleep early
Read easypeasy
Nothing but made shit worse . No point fretting now , I must focus on regaining concentration and strength . Started working on finding out the flaws , I have a longer way to go than I think . Due to frequent relapses , my strength has died . Own consequences . A lot of work tomorrow , will straight away focus on completing them all instead of thinking much . I will work on harvesting the anger though , its the only thing that made me move forward , and now it seems to be dying too . But I cannot give up , I must get back up, even though I wasted it all .
Time won’t stop to grieve or cry with me . It wont wait for me to feel good again , nor it will wait for me while I am making mistakes .
3 Likes
Day 1/100
Wake up early
Exercise
Study 8+ hours
Social Media <1 hour
Meditate
Journal
Sleep early
Read easypeasy
Hectic day , felt pretty bad and tired . Couldn’t conceal thoughts completely , it was very stressing . Managed to complete work though which took all the time. Very tired , gotta wake up early and go to school tomorrow . It’ll be the last day of september , my thoughts are making me think that Im standing at the same place even an year later . But I am not , even though I got trapped in pmo due to my own mistakes , but I have studied efficiently all along and developed mentally too , its just my negative feelings showing me darkness . There’s 3 months left , the most important ones . I have study and revise a lot of topics , keep preparing for the test series . For which , I need the best of my mind and most of my energy .
Go ahead and live with your head held high, No matter how devastated you may be by your own weakness or uselessness, set your heart ablaze.
6 Likes
Day 2/100
Wake up early :
Exercise
Study 8+ hours
Social Media <1 hour
Meditate
Journal
Sleep early
Read easypeasy
Day 3/100
Wake up early
Exercise
Study 8+ hours
Social Media <1 hour
Meditate
Journal
Sleep early
Read easypeasy
Lazy day . Couldn’t sleep well last night , was feeling hot , so I had to cover in afternoon which took up some time . 1st of test series in 5 days . Didn’t get much time to prepare for it honestly but I only have to do questions for this one because I revised these recently , and there are consecutive tests to study for . The ending chapters of all subjects still remain to be completed , they covered it real fast . I will have to do both now . Good thing , I will have more time due to less classes and navratri dusshera vacation .
October has started . I feel quite nerfed down but I have to overpower it . Planned a workout routine , I will have to be active now in workout now , no matter what . I had all the time since last year but I didn’t do well enough . I will have to gain 5 kgs+ weight minimum in three months . At the same time , study time will have to vigorous . It will be difficult , but I need strength , better shape and immunity . I cannot be weak
3 Likes
Yeah
You must
2 Likes
Day 4/100
Wake up early
Exercise :
Study 8+ hours :
Social Media <1 hour
Meditate
Journal
Sleep early
Read easypeasy
Exercises well after so long . I still feel the energy flowing . Studied well too . Could have studied more after 9 but spent time watching tv with parents . Looking forward to do better from tomorrow .
3 Likes
Reward of your hardwork 
2 Likes
Day 4/100
Wake up early
Exercise
Study 8+ hours
Social Media <1 hour
Meditate forgot 
Journal
Sleep early
Read easypeasy
I should either be serious about sleeping early or remove it from habits overall
not finding time read ezpz but I can easily do if I cut off a few things .
I don’t think I’ll be able to workout tomorrow either . Will try to run a bit or do light cardio .
3 Likes
Day 7/100
Wake up early
Exercise
Study 8+ hours
Social Media <1 hour
Meditate
Journal
Sleep early
Feeling very confused and lazy in the morning , felt distracted. Gave a test in the afternoon and felt clear in the evening . Couldn’t study as much as I expected to . Will go for running tomorrow morning and meditate after waking so I feel calmer , there are toooo many thoughts going on from a week . Also had intense urges but stayed locked to my goal .
I believe , I need to intensify my actions , I cannot stay sitting , waiting for the fear and thoughts to go away , I stay victimized when I am not feeling okay . Motivation is a bitch fs .
3 Likes
Beware of next 3 days. Generally its during 7th - 9th day where the testosterone of a man spikes to 150 % these days. You might be knowing this. Just said this to remind you. So stay vigilant !!
4 Likes
Day 8/100
Good day , couldn’t wake up early though , because slept late last night . Going to sleep early tonight , lot of work to complete along with exercising . Will go out for sometime this week before navratri ends , I don’t want to miss the vibe and peace , its one of the rare times I go out with my father . I don’t feel excited at all now but the festival month brings in me the missing joy , true happiness when I am out. Stress free and lively when when I can feel the fresh air , not think about studies/future , not judging myself .
It took me a long time to realize that I was always made for going out , socialising and enjoying , thats the only time I feel Im actually living my life . Deep inside , I don’t want to be left alone , I fear the feeling of loneliness and fear itself .
1 Like