[immortal227] My thoughts on life, purpose, relations and future

The History:
Every occasion I have taken to revisit the old days, for some reason I have always considered them far more wholesome, more meaningful than the present. Maybe it is the nostalgia striking me. I differentiate the past and cherish only the good part of it. And yet, there being good days in the present as well, I willfully remember only the bad and the worst.

Maybe it is true afterall, we only live in the present. And humans have a predisposition to hate the bad and the worst, but somehow find it hard to cherish the good in their present circumstances.

And yet, something good has happened after a long time. I found this forum. I found multitudes of people who struggle everyday. They work hard on a daily basis, some of them are students grinding daily for their exams, some are professionals working on improving their careers and some are here generally to improve themselves.
And every single one of us is working together, motivating each other to get rid of an incredibly vicious social disease that took hold of us many years ago. What I appreciate the most is that this place has evolved tremendously in the last few years. It has become very similar to an organization of individuals willing to give up procrastination, to let go of sexual deviance and to focus purely on their targets.
The motivation each one of us provide through our actions, through our almost compulsive attitude to fulfill our goals is what has been most transformative. It has provided me a lot of hope. And that is what I am most thankful of.

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For some reason, a sense of hope has taken over me. Not because of some grand changes that took place in my life but because I seem to have recognized that something was going wrong. For a man to change himself, the first step is recognizing that something is wrong.

I am also hopeful about the future. Maybe right now, phone addiction, drinking, smoking, pmo, drugs etc… maybe out of most people’s control. But what Hopes will the future bring! Maybe there will be medications available for people suffering from addiction ! Maybe new technologies will be available that will allow individuals to rewire themselves ! Maybe new accessories that will allow us to develop healthier habits. Ability to control hormonal changes in the body that will allow us to focus our efforts on more productive and satisfying tasks.

But if it will all workout in the end, then why do I push myself in this manner?
Why don’t I sit idly in blind hope?
Simple.

Because I ENJOY THE CHALLENGE IT BRINGS!!

I do this penance to develop myself. To bring out the champion in me. To harness self-control and sharpen my mental fortitude. To practice austerity and toughness. To be a survivor!

For a man to gain freedom from constant sexual stimulation of the mind, to harness the ability to mock these low class pleasures and to strive for something greater is the peak of honor and character.

And that is what I wish to do!!

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Many people here are breaking their records. Some went on a 365 day streak like a cold hearted beast and never looked back. Some went upto 90 days and found satisfaction with themselves. Some found confidence by just going a day without compulsions and were incredibly benefitted.

And I have not left any one of these occasions. I have always went forward and congratulated them. But for me, I believe, this could be a potential hindrance.

I have fallen onto such traps before. 7- days streaks, 10 days streaks, 14 days streaks; what went wrong?

Every time I completed a streak, my mind went to dark places. It said," well done. You persisted. But now, let go. You can enjoy some of it. You know you are in control. What could go wrong with just one small peek?"
And that is where I made the fatal mistake. The habits came back to haunt me.

And so, I will omit the days off my diary and forget it like a bad dream. I maintain my diary not just to document my self control, but also my efforts. The efforts are what I will focus on now.

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It’s one of those days. When strange thoughts come out for no reason at all. You look around yourself. You ponder on your history. You think about the people around you. You think about how much time you wasted, how many opportunities you let go of, how many people you disappointed.

First of all, life is not a disappointment. It is a miracle in itself that one is alive, considering how many distinct possibilities the universe holds. The level of detail in the universe, the physical laws going about, the chemical reactions taking place, an ENTIRE REALITY manifesting itself each moment! And the ability to notice it all… Spectacular! Simply marvelous. One should cherish this gift and leave the entire idea of disappointment out of his head. The Universe chose you to inhabit this incredible world. That means you are not a disappointment ! It means that you are worthy.

Second, your past does not have to be your future.

You are a loser.
No…
You were a loser till now, but even that came in handy. You learned what actions make you a loser. Try not to repeat those actions again and learn to take responsibility.

You dissappointed your family.
No…
You dissappointed yourself and that is what you project on to your family. Your parents still love you, your siblings still love you. Even with your shortcomings. The reality is that you don’t love yourself. And you will learn to love yourself when you focus on your goals and objectives, and let go of procrastination. Everyone else’s love will then follow suite.

You have failed and you will continue failing.
No…
Failure teaches more than success. Failures build up to success. Nobody ‘continues’ failing. Even failure has its appetite. Focus and strive for your goals, success won’t elude you forever. In fact, stop wasting your time thinking about success or failure. Whatever you do, do it as a form of duty to yourself.

I have lost valuable time that won’t come back.
No…
It isn’t that you have lost valuable time. Every ime is valuable time. Problem is that you waste a lot of it. And when the day ends, you fret over how much time you wasted. Make a schedule and abide by it, and you will never fear the lack of time.

In these ways, you can always change a negative mindset to something positive , appealing and soothing. Meditate and think over how to better your mindset. Assess your past. Never give up !

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Early morning and late night are peak study hours. You can clock 5 hrs in those periods. Never let learning leave your schedule. It stays with you, for life.

Focus more on bodyweight exercises and experiment with them. You travel frequently so gym is hard to come by. But when you get to visit the gym, focus on compound lifts to develop strength and weight.

The urges will come repeatedly. No idea of when this mess will leave your brain. Remember why you began. Remember self control is the greatest virtue. Lust and uncontrolled passions are bottlenecks to growth.

Remember your vision. Remember your Destiny.

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This diary is full of positivity…

Keep inspiring and educating my friend…

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There are people out there who have mastered the art of self- control, and there are those who have not. And only those masters deserve to be called human beings.Only they are free.Only they are the ones truly alive. Rest all are dead in mind, dead in purpose, dead through and through.

Think about those champions who started on this forum just like you. They crossed the 1000 day mark, mastered their self control, chased their dreams and succeeded. Yes, they exist. And they are truly free.
Think about your father who works hard on a daily basis and makes an honest living. Even in this late age he still acts like a tiger.And he is free.
Think about all those hard workers who strive on a daily basis to make an honest living. Who postpone all pleasures for their purpose only to realise the chase for that purpose was the Supreme pleasure all along. And they are free.

You could be free as well. You just need to get this nonsense out of your mind that it can not be done. LOOK AROUND YOURSELF. So many have done it. On this forum, even in your own family. Learn from these people and master self control.

And master self control at an Extreme. Master it to such an extent that your Brain starts to fear you. That it stops bothering you with those urges. A man who controls his sexual impulses controls his life.

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It is important that one seeks an aim in life to counter the continous attacks of these temptations. And the aim has to be both long term and short term.
And I do have a short term aim, for now. I have participated in a study challenge being hosted here. And the aim is to outdo the rest of the competitors in how many hours one studies for a month. And even though many say that I am old enough to leave my studies behind and focus on my job, without doubt learning has not left me. When one is a student of medicine, study go on for a lifetime. And my study is all about lifetime.
Focus on studying medicine, focus on discovering new investment strategies, focus on studying new companies, emerging technologies, studying martial arts and philosophy. There should never be a lack of learning in one’s life, especially in the present where the world is moving so fast.

So keep on keeping on studying!

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If I could give one advice to myself and my fellow men here, it would be this-

GET OFF THAT DAMN SMARTPHONE!!

Truly, smartphone are singular culprits who have turned smart men into smart zombies.

Do myself a favor and use it only to write this diary and to attend important calls. And social media is an absolute sham ! Just stay away from it.
The internet is a double edged sword. Use it to empower yourself, don’t let it turn you into a mindless meat locomotive.
First step in this journey to bolster your self control- EMPTY YOUR MIND.

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get off smartphone completely is almost impossible nowdays. The approach that works is Change your digital habits for Instagram, Youtube, Netflix, Games, News and other addictive content which very often triggers PMO. Challenge 2021 (Entries Open for November)

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I agree with you, my friend. Because that’s exactly what I said. Not to get off it completely but to use it in such a way that it ends up complementing your productivity. Most of Social Media I find to be problematic today are followers of Sturgeon’s law. And that includes Facebook, Instagram, snapshot etc.

YouTube may be beneficial when catered to one’s productive needs. I use it mostly to learn and gather crucial information, not to surf for mindless entertainment.

Gaming and Netflix are fine when one doesn’t binge them. Strict moderation when followed may even be beneficial in case of gaming. Even though I neither game nor watch movies.

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I am absolutely convinced right now, that among all the super powers that men have described, whether real or fictional, Self-control reigns the highest. It is greater than flight, invisibility, extreme strength or agility, charisma or high intellect. It is the most basic attribute of the stoic sage. Among courage, justice and persistence, self-control is the source. The glacier from which the river flows.

And no virtue needs to be sought more than self-control in the kind of world we live today. The world we now inhabit is an Era of excess. A world where any form of entertainment is available at an arm’s reach. And so much of excess is there that people sometimes find themselves in utter confusion, what should they use to entertain themselves at this moment. And that, is the Fundamental problem.

Our ancestors were much different. Far more resilient and resolute, they lived in a harsh world. They had to work hard to make ends meet. And by ends meet I simply mean, find food to not starve themselves for another week. They were constantly surrounded with adversity, with dangers unimaginable. Drought, disease, wild animals, tribal invasions, harsh weather constantly attacking them from all sides. Yet, they persisted. And these very adversities provided valuable lessons to us. Survival itself became a source of meaning for the human spirit. These constant challenges preoccupied our mind and gave us an opportunity to overcome them and rise.

But the modern world is filled up to the brim with all sorts of resources and commodities. We lack nothing. We have food on the table at all times. Phones to talk to anyone anywhere on the planet. Cars to get anywhere. Air conditioners, heaters, refrigerators, televisions keep us in our comfort zones. Electricity at all times. WE HAVE EVERYTHING…EXCEPT MEANING. A PURPOSE, AN AIM.

A MISSION IN LIFE.

This is the reason, I believe, that our mind has short circuited our brains to seek these self gratifying pleasures instead of committing ourselves to a goal. Because… our biological needs are cempletely met to a great extent. That danger that provided a sense of thrill, of fullfillment is simply not there.

And so, self-control in a man is an absolute essential trait. To protect our minds from these dangerous pleasures and sensory desires and to once again seek those uncharted territories. To once again explore those worlds which gave rise to the human spirit. But you must prepare yourself first. Yes, if you simply develop your self-control, there is nothing else that one needs to worry about. That is the goal of the modern world. That is what one needs to do for self fulfillment.For the modern man, First, there is self-control and beyond that, EVERYTHING ELSE.

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very inspiring thank you for that!

A man of true self control is like a rock that waves keep crashing over. The waves breaks apart and disperses around it, while the rock remains calm and steady.

This same analogy must apply to us. The urges are like waves, trying with all its might to break your resolve. Your self-control is the rock that surrounds your mind. The urges crash upon it and disperses.

Is it unfortunate then, for you that you are bombarded like this? No. The only unfortunate thing will be the rock breaking apart. Who is not tempted and affected in this world? Nobody.

The urges are out of your control. Fortunately, the rock and its composition are not. It is upto you, to cement that structure and make it dense and solid, so nothing will be able to phase you away from your purpose.

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It feels terrible, at the moment. But it will pass. It has to. You must control your feelings. You cannot control what others feel about you. What they think about you is their business. Trying to control what they think will inadvertently lead to sadness and hopelessness.
But you must assume control over yourself. Handle yourself and your feelings. The future holds so many possibilities. Maybe it will workout for you in some way.
But don’t give up on yourself.
So much has changed in the past few years and so much yet to alter. But do not favour acceptance. Remember what you told yourself. Acceptance is a defeatist attitude. Stand true to that. Now is the time to remain fixated on your beliefs.

The entire world may change, but I won’t because I choose not to.

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The morning was totally miserable and depressing. But as the sun rose, things started to change. New ideas began to appear, new patterns started to form. And finally, I must convert these ideas into text so that I can feed it into my memory because if I adhere to them, it can change my life for the better.

First of all, the human nature is irrational and emotional. Dogmatic. There comes a time in one’s life that certain ideas take shape through seeking. Seeking is part of human spirit and is beneficial. But a person must, someday accumulate a fixed number of ideas that define their identity and use these ideas to lay down their foundation. And these foundations must remain unchanged, eternally. Forever. A change to these foundations, these ideas should be life threatening. Unforgivable. Inhuman. Some things must never change. They must remain so. Unyielding and relentless.

You too have undergone change. How beneficial were changes like porn, procrastination and deviance for your life? Have they given you anything but misery? Do you wish for anything else but complete removal of these changes from your personal life? How many people you have come across, who instead of seeking change, remained fixated to their cause, were able to overcome their failures and gain glory? Do you not wish to empty your mind?

An important thing to understand is this-
The human mind is plastic. The brain practices neuroplasticity. It accommodates itself to its environment. If you are in an environment of hardworking, serious people who facilitate action and honour, you will eventually become like them. But if you are in bad company, you will gain their characters. If you are in the company of people who exercise and diet hard, you will become fit. If you are in company of people who are sedentary and eat junk, you will grow fat. In company of seekers, one becomes a seeker. In company of doers, one becomes a doer. And one who is solitary, will prefer solitude. So the conclusion is very simple- change your environment. This is where those permanent ideas that I discussed above will gather strength. This is where the foundations will be strengthened. By building a community around you and remaining in their midst, forever. Everytime your ideas get challenged, people telling you to accept porn, telling you it’s okay to be lazy, to become a deviant, go back to seek your first principles. The environment may not include people ,specifically. Any medium, even movies or games will do.

Life is such that on somedays, you are lively, on other days you are simply struggling to survive. On those harsh days, remember, these feelings that you have, they are not you. And they will not survive. You will regain yourself in time. The mind is fickle and your personal thoughts keep getting challenged. Again, go back to your environment. To your most personal ideas. Your family. Understand that these thoughts are unreal, incompatible with you. Laugh at them. Tell them that they are there only for a time being. Your self control is unyielding. Your armor will remain checked and powerful. Infact, supplement yourself with your past thoughts. In time, the pain will go. And once again, the calm bliss will return.

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Your posts are worth reading. You seem like someone who reads a lot and is actually implementing and growing because of it.
The feeling I get from reading ‘the daily stoic’, I get the same feeling by reading your posts.

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Read both meditations and the handbook of Epictetus. Would love to read ’ Letters from a stoic" by Seneca someday.

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Thank you for your kind words.

Unfortunately, growing has not been very essential to my mind, otherwise I wouldn’t be here. I am absolutely certain about what I want. What I am looking for is a methodology and certainty of its results. If I can figure out a method that will give the result I wish for, I am willing to give my entire life to it.

The future is uncertain, though. And so may be my methods. But, maybe I am just being too impatient. Maybe it will workout in the end.

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For what do you intend to apply the method you are seeking? Whole life in general? Or for a particular addiction?

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