I'm New to the Community and I want a New Beginning!

Confession
1

I want to end my addiction to Pornography and Masterbation forever. Ever since I was 8 years old I’ve been watching porn and masterbating. My older brother and my cousin introduced it to me. To be exact it was 2005, which was the summer before I started 3rd grade.

When I was in middle school, 2008-2011, I started watching porn on HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, and Stars during the late night hours.
Also during that time, I discovered Hardcore Lesbian porn on Verizon Fios, which took my addiction to another level. I used to order a bunch of Lesbian porn and my mother would get a high cable bill for that month. She knew I was watching porn, but sadly she never corrected me on the matter. I never had the “TALK” with my parents.

Fast Forward…

Summer of 2011 before the start of my Freshman year, I got hooked on to Shemale Porn or Chicks with dicks or whatever you want to call it. But anyway this took me to a whole nother level of addiction. I’ve fantasize and I even thought about looking online to find shemales to have sex with, but I’ve never went that far. The thought of having sex with a stranger kept me away.

Long story short, Pornography has done some damage to me in my childhood. I wish my up bringing was different but it is what it is. I’m 43 days clean and I want to be clean for the rest of my life. Plus I look forward to getting married in the near future and I don’t want to bring this addiction into my marriage in the future. I want to become the best version of myself.

Nicholas/24

8 Likes
2

Don’t worry. Focus on habbits that you’ll build using nofap. After you create good habbits you won’t need nofap anymore. BUT, do not give up. Always fight the urges.

2 Likes
3

It takes a lot of courage to display that level of honesty and commitment to change, respect to you! I won’t go into it but p addiction has led me to watch more and more ‘extreme’ things too. Just gotta keep at it and clear my brain and rewire completely. Good luck in your journey!

4 Likes
5

It’s going to work out. Start running up a good streak. Even if you relapse, just don’t fall all the way back down into the gully of the hard-core smut and keep those images of the extreme out of your head. This could be a long journey of struggle just like mine,bro, just remember that your streak, even if small, does not represent failure, but success. It puts distance between yourself and the bottomless pit.

1 Like
6

How you doing @Nick9 ? It’s been a long time you didn’t post in the forum .

1 Like